Okay, I think I’m ready to admit this to “the world” or at least whoever reads this: I have cancer. I’m in the intial stages and I had my first chemo session Monday morning. I told my Mum on Sunday night (after her birthday) and she’s flying over this weekend. I know I’ve been through this once and I can do it again but I feel so weak and so tired. I don’t remember it feeling this bad last time. I’m trying to keep up with volunteer work but it’s getting to be a bit much so I think I’ll be cutting that out because after 16 hours of sleep there’s little time for other things.
I went to the gym yesterday for the first time in a long while and I can’t figure out if it was good or bad…a bit of both I suppose. As odd as this sounds, 2Pac was right, when it rains it pours.
But I’m going to beat this, even the two doctors that are taking my “case” seem optimistic and that’s saying something for Montreal doctors. Both of them are “no shit” kind of doctors so I feel a bit better about things. I sometimes do wonder why though…why me? I’m not even post menapausal yet.. this isn’t supposed to happen to me, not yet - I’m only 20. I know that questioning why isn’t going to help anything so I’m trying really hard not let myself indulge in self-pity because it won’t do any good and I need to keep a positive attitude.
I will beat you cancer - even if you take my breast I’m going to beat you!
I feel slightly better now that I’ve written this.
Thank you.
June 19th, 2006 at 7:52 am
Hi Epi,
Wow, can I simply just say wow! It’s amazingly refreshing to hear someone speak so highly of their determination to beat an illness such as cancer. I will say that you are now officially a hero of mine!
I greatly admire your courage and strength, There will be days when you may lack courage and strength and on days like that, feel free to lean on your friends, feel free to lean on me. And on those days when you feel strong may god give you double the strength to take on anything that is thrown at you!
God bless you!
xxx
June 19th, 2006 at 2:40 pm
You know something? I went through this before, I know I can do it again. I’m having good days and I’m having bad days, but I just have to have faith that this is a part of some grand plan and I’m to learn something from this.
x
June 21st, 2006 at 5:13 am
Epicurean is right, we need to have faith and stay believing. We have great powers inside ourselves which we can used to overcome all sickness. Cancer is just a physical illness. When our mind, heart and soul are healthy, we will live forever and ever.
June 22nd, 2006 at 6:48 am
Just the fact that you have created a post to share your story with those who care so much about you out here in cyberspace shows that you are able and willing to draw upon the power and the strength of support, compassion, understanding, and unity from those of us who wish to share what we have with you. You also have an absolutely amazing opportunity at the age of 20 to use your cancer to deepen your experience of life, love, and those things you find are truly important to you. You are strong, you have within you that divine spark of light and love that will guide you through healing and through the times when you are feeling discouraged. You also have the power of the unity of each one of us reaching out to you to provide you with the power of our own light and love in your healing process. I pray for you a kind and gentle space as you navigate your way back toward healing.
July 7th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
My prayers and best wishes to u dear one.
May you have all the courage to face the reality.
Smile at the difficulties and know for sure they will smile back at u and vanish in thin air.
Sadiq, Singapore
January 24th, 2007 at 11:31 pm
Every creature needs to rest. Giraffes, little babies, elephants, dogs, cats, kids, koala bears, grandparents, moms, dads, and hippos in the jungle - they all sleep! Just like eating, sleep is necessary for survival. WBR LeoP
March 22nd, 2007 at 11:33 am
After chemo my mind went blank. I couldnt remember names and couldnt recall simple conversations. Im 31/2 years past treatment and those blank times are very rare now. Im thankful! WBR LeoP