May 7
This entry is part 1 of 1 in the series Weight loss and Fitness

Do you want to make changes to the way you look? Are you fed up with being overweight and deep down inside worried about people really think about you? (Even though they may not be thinking anything but in your mind they are.) Are you fed up with getting to the top of the stairs and being exhausted? Are you tired of not feeling attractive to the opposite sex?

A while back I mentioned that I wanted to started posting a series based on weight loss, fitness training, exercise for overweight people who weren’t sure how to being the process of changing their physical state and for anyone else who wanted to begin a new chapter with their physical condition.

When I began my journey just over three years ago I was in terrible shape, and that is putting it mildly, however I know that there are people in much worse shape than I was. Starting a new regime is easy and sticking to it is only the beginning of the challenge. Initially the weight drop will be fast and easy but then that will slow and plateau. Then there will be motivation issues and other temptations to contend with.

Everyone once in a while feels the surge of energy to act and make changes but that doesn’t last long if preparations aren’t made to maintain the enthusiasm for undertaking a new personal project. There are ways to combat this and I’ll share more of those a little later on. Then there things that pop up out of the blue that will also hinder your progress such as injuries and they can at times be soul destroying as you’re making such good progress it is very often at those times that injuries occur, almost as a test to your resolve.

There are many methods of weight loss and I have friends who tried varied weight loss systems that involve eating bars and shakes for breakfast lunch and dinner. Some have had success and some have had temporary success and some have had no success because sticking to those programs involves enormous amounts of will power and resistance.

I’m going to be offering you my suggestions and principles that should hopefully make the slimming down fun, easy, and gradual. If you expect massive losses consistently you’re kidding yourself. This process can take months and sometimes even years however time will become irrelevant because you’ll be enjoying what you’re doing so it will become part of your overall lifestyle rather than just something you do for a few months and then eventually give up.

The keys here are variety, enjoyment sustainability and pleasure. If you incorporate these four keys slimming down does become a breeze; something that you don’t have to even think about and something that doesn’t make you feel guilty just because you happen to miss a day!

To begin with:

1) Most people would say start by creating a goal. I say forget that for now and just make a start. The more specific goal setting can come later but for now just make your goal to start exercising whilst having some fun!

2) Find something energetic that you ENJOY doing! It can be a sport, going to the gym, walking, swimming, running etc pretty much anything you like that you like! ;-) Start doing it on a regular basis!

3) However, here is something that is extremely important and it’s a mistake most people make when undertaking a new program like this. Many people exercise until they get tired and end up having that achy feeling for the next few days. When that happens they feel reluctant to continue exercising because they’ve anchored that feeling into their body. It doesn’t last but if that happens for the first few sessions it’s what beginners remember the most and it’s that feeling which then puts them off maintaining that program.

Here’s the key: Exercise to the point where you are enjoying the exercise and stop well before the point of feeling tired! Do this for the first few months! Yes, you heard me right, the first few months especially if right now you’re classed as being ‘overweight’. This has a few objectives: i) It Anchors the feeling of enjoying exercise. ii) It gives your body the time to get used to the exercise especially for your joints. iii) You won’t be put off the exercise because you won’t have the exhausted feeling that can come from vigorous exercise.

I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to find something you enjoy doing. Enjoyment is the best motivation tool there is. It doesn’t matter what else you try and use as leverage on yourself; whether that be money, becoming more desirable to the opposite sex, or just to look good, nothing will beat sheer enjoyment. Let me explain what I’m talking about. When it comes to exercise badminton is my passion. If my body could allow me to play more then I would probably play 24 hours a day 7 days a week. If I had the choice between a hot date and badminton, badminton would win hands down every time! :lol:

That brings me onto my final point. Plenty of people come up to me and tell me: “Amit, I need to lose weight for the summer so I’m going to join the gym!” At this point, I debate about whether to roll around on the floor laughing for the next 15 minutes or whether to explain to them direct. The former never goes down that well so let me go ahead and explain the latter.

As I mentioned earlier, the greatest motivational force is pure enjoyment. When you enjoy something you never have to even think about getting up to do it, you just, do it! Thinking that the fact that £50 is coming out of your bank account is going to be enough of a motivator to get you to go to the gym then you’re deluding yourself. Here’s the rub: Get into the habit of exercising now without a gym. If you can do that for 3 months, then fine, go ahead and join the gym and go use the variety of equipment and classes. Until that point though firmly establish your good habits first and then decide on longer term commitments later. If you absolutely feel the need to join the gym then ask them gym if they do a trial membership for a month or so before they tie you into long contracts which you later cannot get out of.

These are the first few steps to take. Make a start now and do what I said and you’ll find that you enjoy the process of exercising and losing weight rather than feeling like it is a chore of necessity.

Part two coming soon! ;-)

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May 6

Me and Rajiv Ouseph

On Friday I had the great priviledge of meeting and playing a game with Rajiv Ouseph who is the number 1 badminton player in England.

He came along to meet some of the kids at our club which put a huge smile on their faces as they had their pictures taken with them and he even gave them his autograph….it put a huge smile on my face too! :lol:

This week he’s off to Malaysia for the Thomas Cup (Badmintons equivalent to the Tennis’s Davis Cup) so join me in wishing him and the rest of the team all the best in the tournament!

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Apr 22

I’m truly looking forward to the day that car manufacturers start asking the question: “How can we build cars that help or improve the environment rather than destroy it?”

We shouldn’t just wait for the oil to run out and then out of desperation make changes. Lets do it now; there is no time like the present!

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Apr 10
    Y.E.P. (Youth Empowerment Project)

I’ve been working on an idea and a concept and it’s manifesting in many forms in the way of books, dvd’s, radio projects and seminars for children and young adults. I’ll be talking more about this in the upcoming months but for now I just wanted to share a simple concept with you.

Firstly, I often hear it talked about and this is whether the parents or the educators are to blame for the behaviour of children? My view is simply this: It doesn’t matter! Asking that question solves or achieves nothing! A simpler approach and a more productive one is for all of us to take responsibility to some degree. When we do and we take genuine interest in the the up-bringing of youth, you’d be amazed at the difference it makes! Shoving the blame to and fro takes our time and attention away from dealing with the challenge.

Secondly there is on a very simple explanation of why young adults get involved in crime, vandalism, alcohol, drugs, bullying etc etc. It’s quite simply because they it’s the only way they know how to feel powerful or, putting it another way, empowered! That’s the only reason ever! It gives them a sense of personal power and that is because quite simply they haven’t been shown any other way to do so! Once you show them how to feel empowered in a different way suddenly they won’t feel the need to do those other things to feel powerful, they’ll automatically lose interest and start taking an interest in other good things that make them feel empowered.

A very simple concept with a very powerful message and impact.

I’ve be talking about this more over the coming months.

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Apr 7

It’s a great feeling to have my blog back up and running again! It was a bit scary there at one point as I thought I’d lost everything and I also noticed that my site was no longer being indexed by Google. In fact it was because of that I noticed that something was wrong.

I first noticed that the number of hits on my site had gone down considerably. So I decided to search for my site on Google and noticed I could not see it. I asked a few friends what my be wrong with my site and why that might happen? No one seemed too sure but they had some ideas and one of my friends spotted that I had and immense amount of spam code embedded within my blog. It was hardly surprising considering that I was still running version 1.5 of wordpress. I did attempt to upgrade my blog a few months ago and was unsuccessful. When I asked for help through wordpress no one responded to my messages on the forum so I decided to leave it again until I had more time.

This though though the situation was incredibly desperate. So I backed up everything and deleted my blog directory on my server and decided to start from scratch. This time I enlisted the help of a friend who was a lot more web savvy than I and he did the upgrade for me but it still didn’t work. Finally, thanks to his suggestion I got a setting rectified by my web host. That was supposed to fix it but for some reason it still wasn’t working! After nearly working on my site for 24 hours straight I finally managed to fix it and get it all running. I looked around for a nice theme and found the one you see before you now. I will be making minor changes at some point but for now this is a nice clean design with some good features.

My site is still not showing up on Google search however I think that for some reason Google had a cached version of a robots.txt file that was set to disallow crawling. I manually changed that and now I believe that will get my site indexed once again…fingers crossed!

I learned a very important lesson that if I’m going to continue to maintain my own blog then to keep the software up to date and change the passwords regularly. If, like me, you’re not so web savvy, then a good plugin to get is the Wordpress Automatic Update Plugin which pretty much does the upgrades to wordpress for you with the simple click of a button. My gratitude goes out to the creator of that plugin as I know it’s going to make the maintenance of this blog that much easier!

This experience has been a great lesson in personal development and the power of choice because, ultimately, I know that these problems occurred through the choices I made. It wasn’t a bad or a good thing specifically but I learned valuable lessons and web skills through it so I see the good that’s come out of this whilst also knowing that it wasn’t the best approach. However it’s done now so I’ll remember the lessons and try my best to implement them into the future.

Now comes the easy bit of writing blog posts! :lol:

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Mar 15

Be afraid!

To put yourself into a position of fear is actually a good thing. Doing so on a regular basis is even better. Putting yourself in stressful situations is not and there is a very distinct difference!

The fear factor is wonderful! It’s the mechanism that tells us that we’re experiencing something new and something that is challenging us on every level. I had extreme fear the first time I went up to do the ‘Firewalk’ and I can in all honesty that it wasn’t the kind you associate with stress. It was a very different kind of feeling, I was very excited but scared at the same time.

That kind of fear is good for us; it’s when you do the thing that was giving you fear in the first place that you experience growth!

Stress based fear is very different and more often that not comes from being unprepared. You cannot be prepared for everything but you can prepare for most things that you know are coming your way and hence eliminate the majority, if not all, the forthcoming stress. Being prepared is probably the main key to the this and planning ahead also plays a big role.

You can also change your mindset and covert the stress into the healthy kind of fear by simply remembering that it is a challenge that is going to make you grow. It can be for anything too; like buying your first house or going for a job interview.

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Mar 13

Hey everyone,

For anyone who’s been wondering where I’ve been for the last three weeks, as previously mentioned, on the 9th of March I completed my double whammy challenge of not only running the half marathon, but also performing my second stand-up comedy gig.

As you can probably imagine the last few weeks have been intense. Not only was I training for the run physically and preparing for it mentally, I was also re-writing my stand-up set and also rehearsing it too.

—–

I entered the Adidas Silverstone Half Marathon and I’m pleased to say that I ran all the way without stopping or walking in 2h40m. I was running at a pace to complete it much faster than that but when I got to the 10mile mark I was utterley exhausted and I had to drop my pace considerably to make sure I finished. It was more than double the distance I’d ever run in my life! Last year I ran the 10K Great Capital race and after I had done it I didn’t continue with the running. I started running again approximately 8 weeks ago and I got back into it quite quickly as I mentioned in one of my previous articles.

This time I decided to raise money for a charity called Children Walking Tall and have thus far raised approximately £400. I was elated with myself that I did it but for me the challenges will not stop there! I’m already looking into doing another in October in preparation for the full marathon next year.

This was of course…just my pre dinner time challenge…my day didn’t stop there! Oh no! :lol:

Next was the Humili-Asian comedy gig as a follow on from the one we did in December last year.

Not a lot of people realise this, and to be honest, neither did I until recently, but the biggest challenge, was not the events themselves, but taking good care of my thoughts before and after both events. You’ll understand once I start explaining what happened.

About a week and a half before the big day, I found out that that half marathon started at noon. Without going into too much detail; it basically meant that I didn’t have much time inbetween both challenges to rest, eat, recouperate etc. So it was there that my next challenge began; trying to not let the worry of time get the better of me! Of course, at the same time I was still training, preparing myself mentally, studying human anatomy, finding out how best to keep myself fit, energised, healthy and injury free during the run.

I wanted to improve on my stand-up routine from the last time so I began the process of adding, deleting, re-writing and polishing off the routine. This took as much time as the my first attempt of comedy set writing. Even though I had previously memorised my routine, I had now forgotten 90% of it and so I had to begin the process all over again of imprinting it into my brain. It was quite funny as during this process I noticed that I couldn’t help let slip some bits of my old routine, which I also ended up doing on the night; although I don’t think anyone noticed. I certainly did though!

During this whole time I could feel the onset of stress and anxiety. As the clocked ticked and the days passed; it steadily increased! I was nervous because I wasn’t sure if I was ready or fit enough to run the half marathon. I was nervous and scared because I did quite well at my first stand up gig and I wasn’t sure that I could repeat that performance! Loads of little niggly thoughts started to peck away at the back of my mind!

I realised then that my mind was clouding with all these random thoughts and that was resulting in me feeling quite, heavy, depressed and nervous. It didn’t have to be that way; that only came from where I was choosing to focus my thoughts. Many people feel that where there thoughts flow from and to is not really through choice and that is true right now; it’s conditioning! To change you have to choose to change. If you want to shift your thought patterns then it begins with the decision and then the conditioning comes later. It’s like a smoker that successfully gives up smoking; they have to decide that they want to give up smoking first and then after that they find a way. I gave up coffee by changing my thinking; it began with my choice or my decision to make a change. It is the greatest power by far that we humans possess.

To achieve that kind of mental clarity and balance is not easy but it is essential if you want the repeated results you’ve been getting in your life to change. Without doing so you will find yourself having moods and getting very easily upset or depressed.

Sunday arrived and I was still not quite 100% prepared for the day. I didn’t feel nervous about the run and all through the race I felt relatively relaxed and calm and even though I did struggle, I knew that I would be able to finish the race running. During the run though I was still heavily focused on my stand-up set because I felt like I wasn’t quite ready. I felt like my material wasn’t quite up to scratch and that I wasn’t quite ready to perform.

When the time for me to perform arrived it was the thoughts of self doubt that kept me from being at my best. Even though I got plenty of laughs I knew that it wasn’t quite as good as it could have been and that came down to one factor and one factor only; taking care of my thinking before, during and after the event! I did well and even though I was faced with a few surprises I handled then all well. Experience has taught me though that having mental clarity and flow will always lead to much more fruitful results. If you want to be at your best during something, you have to be at your best before it too.

If you find that your thoughts are like a runaway train learn to apply the brakes and change your focus. If you feel like you’re experiencing worry it’s because you’re focused on results you do not wish to occur. If you’re stressed it’s because your thoughts are tuning into the worst case scenarios. It’s a that moment you need to set your personal wake up clcok and say to yourself: “snap out of it *insert name here*!” :lol: And that’s when you have the opportunity, if you choose to, to change your thinking. You can now focus on what you want to occur, what result you would like or even things like what you could do better or remembering the reason why you’re there in the first place! The choice is yours!

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Jan 22

This post was inspired through the recent work I’ve been doing on the radio and some of the articles I’ve been reading in the tabloids regarding certain celebrities. Now, I don’t always believe what I read, especially from the tabloids, but I do know that celebrities will face challenges, in a very different way, to you or I on a daily basis.

What separates them from us? In reality, nothing, but we’ve designed a culture where they’re treated so differently which often stems from one of two poor perceptual constructs: 1) The way they look. 2) How much money they have. What happens then is that a celebrity will often need to meet the high levels of expectations which are created for them. There are many other factors but these two, more often than not, shape our attitudes towards these unique individuals who are fulfilling their dreams and doing the thing that they love most!

They will often be judged in various ways but a common theme that I hear often is: “They have so much money, how can they have anything to be worried about or complain about anything or lack anything or not be happy?” That suggests to me that there are still people out there that believe that money will bring them all the happiness they desire when the reality is that money is only part of the equation; a very small part to boot! Only WITH the right mindset can money serve you as a tool for not only enhancing your life but enhancing the life of others.

Money and wealth are two totally separate things. Money is currency for exchanging goods and services but true wealth is an abundance in of everything in every area of your life. The thing that people often don’t realise about wealth is that you can be wealthy right now. The way to be wealthy is to firstly being grateful and secondly to share that energy with others. When you start to experience true wealth through gratitude money will follow naturally.

Some celebrities have an abundance of money but become lost in their way and then squander their money for things like: cosmetic surgery, alcohol and drugs; all the types of things that cause damage and destruction; rather than towards things that create, expand, grow and help others! Why does that happen? How can someone with the means to obtain or do anything they like choose to take that kind of path?

My best friend recently got back from India and was telling me about how far just a small sum like 7,000 rupees (or£80 approx) can go for an orphanage and yet for us it’s not uncommon to spend £80 just on a haircut which can go wrong and in turn we can feel sad, down, angry or depressed? Why?

A celebrity is someone who is, where they are, because they not only love what they do, but they also enjoy giving happiness to other people and they enjoy receiving that love and admiration back. They enter a world where they all eyes now focus upon them and for some people they can do no wrong but then suddenly, they might do something that, between everyday folk like us, is something perfectly normal, but because they’re in the limelight whatever it is they have done is completely taken out of context and then often the media come along and crucify them. How would that make you feel? To just make one small mistake and have that plastered across the newspapers the next day? In my mind it would take someone incredibly strong minded to overlook that kind of attention and only focus on the the good they do.

If we allow the countless number of voices on the outside and try and absorb the input it’s no surprise that we might end up getting dazed and overwhelmed! Have you ever been in a position where someone has said something about you that has set you off or got you angry or upset? Right, now multiply that a thousandfold If you were a celebrity, and a paper printed something about you that wasn’t necessarily true, or was taken way out of context? Most people read an article in a paper and they often within a week or two it’s forgotten about but for the celebrity the sting of it can potentially last a life time! Even just a few small bashings can permanently change their mindset if they listen to all those stories!

So what can the celebrity do to minimize or even totally negate the effects of the public humiliations, stories, or mistakes? Here are my suggestions and ideas so feel free to try them out, experient and remember these ideas aren’t just for celebrities, they apply to anyone and everyone no matter who you are and what you do!

1) Do more for others, especially children, maybe even anonymously! - It’s naturaly with your lifestyle that you’ll work hard and also play hard. In amongst all your activities set time aside every month for charitable work; something hands on and something you can personally get stuck into! Even just a few hours every month doing something that you enjoy and also helps others. Find something that you feel passionate about and do lots of that. There was one celebrity who recently go into looking after mis-treated horses and said that helped to turn her life around.

2) Make the voice inside stronger than all the voices on the outside - I remember recently reading an article about Kylie where she consults her inner voice before making any big decision. Some might say she’s crazy, I say she’s the smartest one of all! Everyone has an inner voice and you can choose to change that voice at will depending on what you need it for. If your inner voice is pounding your for making a silly mistake, turn it into a forgiving voice and then change it into a voice that helps you either change or turn it into something positive. There is also more you can do in terms of adjusting your mental imagery to enhance your performance too. Sports people do this all the time as they know that doing so will absolutely enhance their performance.

3) Become a mentor for upcoming celebrities. - If you spot talent offer to take them under your wing and share the experiences that you’ve gone through so it might better prepare them. They might get thrust into the limelight incredibly quickly and might not have had the time to adjust to the sudden change in their profile or status. Initially it will be exciting for them but after time the steam from the pressure can build and they can get to boiling point! Offer them your help and guidance which will be priceless to them; something that money cannot buy.

4) You can’t always do everything right and please everyone so don’t try! - If you do you’ll constantly be second guessing yourself and then you’ll start to feel even more lost. People will always think what they want to think and trying to shift their opinion of you and that is just going to exhaust you! The only thing you’ll ever have conscious control over is where you choose to focus your mental energy. If you always focus on the things that are bothering you then you’ll slowly but gradually start to experience inertia. If you focus on what you can do next and all the outcomes that you want to achieve you’ll begin to gain more momentum and start feeling more energised.

5) Take onboard my 5-a-day rule. - I’ve always said that to experience a more fulfilled and enjoyable existense there are 5 things that you need to incorporate into your routine every single day. These are things which are very simple and easy and including them takes very liittle time or effort. The five things are: i) Meditate, ii) Smile, iii) Laugh, iv) Give, v) Appreciate. So simple and yet so effective. Make time for these 5 things watch it transform your life for the better.

Related posts: 5-a-day

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Jan 14

Once again, last year, I decided to enter for the London Marathon through the ballot system but I found out in December that I didn’t get a place. I wanted to make sure I didn’t loose the momentum of challenging myself every year whilst making each challenge more difficult so, just last week, I decided to enter the Adidas half Marathon at Silverstone on the 9th of March.

The half Marathon equates to 21km or 13miles approximately. That’s more than twice the distance I’ve ever run before! Last year I did the BUPA 10K run and I managed to finish that in 79 minutes but since then I had not kept up the running.

Yesterday I wanted to make sure that I began my program of running in preparation for the half Marathon so I decided to stretch myself early on and to see if I could run 5K even though I hadn’t done any running since last July. I’m quite happy to say that I managed to complete it very comfortably in 40 minutes and I felt like I could’ve easily have gone on to do 7 - 8K.

Now for those of you who are new to my blog you might think that’s nothing special. It’s true, it’s probably not but just so you’re aware, I’m 19 stone in weight or nearly 270lbs. 3 years ago I used to be 22stone and I could barely walk up one flight of stairs without being in incredible pain and out of breath! I even had trouble walking down stairs because my knees would hurt too much! :lol:

After the run I had tons of energy and even though I was a bit achy, I wasn’t feeling tired; if anything I was more energised! I was a little surprised that I managed the 5K so easily and I wondered how I’d managed to maintain my fitness even though I hadn’t done any running. I do play badminton regularly (at least 3 times a week) but that’s not really a sport that increases stamina. Badminton is a great fat burner and helps you to accelerate your reaction times, especially if you play doubles, but other than that it doesn’t do much in terms of fitness.

I realised that one small lifestyle change I had made recently has been making a huge difference to my fitness overall. It’s something very small and very easy and something that anybody can do; it just requires a firm commitment to yourself. Last August I made a solid choice that I would stop using the lifts at work and that I would only use the stairs; unless I was carrying heavy equipment. Since then I can say that I’ve only used the lift 3 times, for transporting heavy equipment only, other than that, it’s been the stairs all the way. I only work on the second floor of my building but I usually enter from a back door which is in the basement to in reality I’m climbing 3 floors and I do that usually 3 - 4 times a day.

This little change has made all the difference in assisting me in maintaining my levels of fitness, and in addition to that, what it has done is also strengthen my knees and developed and conditioned all the muscles in my legs.

The simple lesson is this: For you to make large inroads into whatever changes you wish to make to your life all you need employ is a very simple strategy; one that is easy to maintain. As with my example, I didn’t need to go join an expensive gym or totally overhaul my diet, all I needed to do was to commit to using the stairs.

I’ll be updating you on my progress and following up this article with some motivational and training tips for people who are overweight and want to take up a new challenge for 2008.

Related Articles:

SOS (Simple Obvious Strategies)

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Dec 18

Yesterday I did my first ever Stand-up comedy event which was for the charity: Children Walking Tall, which helps homeless children in India. I’m not quite sure exactly how much we raised but I do know that it was in the region of about £800.

I love stand-up comedy and it did cross my mind a few years ago to give it a try but I never gave it a second thought. I was coaching my friend Hyde who said he had always dreamed of doing stand-up and so I encouraged him to do an event! One day he asked me if I wanted to do a short set as part of a comedy night that he was arranging for charity. I jumped at the chance without actually thinking it through! Little did I realise how much work it was going to take! :-)

Last night was the big night, I was as nervous as I’d ever been about anything in my life and yet I was really excited too. I couldn’t wait to get up and do my set! I had butterflies like you can’t imagine but the crowd were amazing, really lively!

I was actually offered a 15 minute slot, so as I was planning and preparing my set, it gradually got longer and longer! By the time I had finished it, and polished it off, it was 25 minutes long, which included pauses for laughter. Even though that is bad practise it actually ended up being a good thing. One of the acts didn’t make it on time and had to be taken off the running so my extra 10 minutes filled up the time of the comedian who was missing.

As John Kinde over at Humor Power said to me, 15 minutes is a huge challenge for a first time gig but to just “learn from doing!”

So, I got up on stage managed to keep my voice steady, something I’ve always had trouble doing in front of large crowds, and deliver my opening gag with power….it totally worked! I had them rolling in the isles and got a huge applause for that gag and because I did, I totally relaxed and the rest came naturally!

As I mentioned in my previous article, I opted to include plenty of blue humour and it was the blue humour that got the most laughs although my opening line was a clean gag. There were gags in my set which people didn’t laugh at and also times where people laughed where I wasn’t expecting any. Toilet humour always gets good laughs and if you find a good niche with regards to toilet humour then you’re sure to get plenty of laughs. My toilet gag was about four minutes long in total and it got laughs the whole way through! If you’re doing club comedy and you have some good toilet humour, then use it! It’s sure to get laughs! A lot of the humour I incorporated was about me being fat and it got some great laughs and it even got some “awwwww’s” too. One person did say to me not to make so much fun of myself but to be honest, I don’t take myself or the humour that seriously, it was just there to make people laugh and not a true reflection of my opinion of myself.

In the future I do want to work on more clean humour but as John said to me, “it’s a much greater challenge”, and he ain’t lying! :-O

I did miss one or two of my main gags and on two occasions, I did need to pull out my keywords sheet of paper and have a quick glance but I did it in such a way that it got laughs too. I think people were forgiving for two reason: 1) Because it was for charity and 2) We told people in the beginning that we were amateurs and totally new to stand-up comedy!

I was totally overwhelmed with the feedback and the response at the end, I got so many compliments and most people just couldn’t believe that it was my first time as they said I looked like I’d been doing it for long while!

In the build up to the event, I was quite stressed as it took an immense amount of preparation and practise. I had spent a good 40 hours over the last 3 weeks rehearsing, re-writing, practising and watching dvd’s of other stand up comics (but that was an enjoyable part) studying their technique and humour. In particular my favourites are Jack Dee, Lee Evans, Russell Peters, Jimmy Carr, and Chris Rock. It was a huge time commitment. During that time I was telling myself that I would probably make this the only time I would do stand-up, but now that I’ve done it, I’ve caught the bug and I’m definitely going to do it again! The charity contacted me and definitely want our help to raise more money again by holding a similar event and I may even look into doing some paid gigs. My friend Hyde was approached last week and is doing more stand-up tonight as a warm up for a major comedian from Canada.

I’ve learned so much through this whole process and I wanted to share a few of those things that were not included in any of the books or websites I had read about doing stand-up. So if you feel like delving into the world of stand-up comedy and undertaking the monumental challenge that it is then here are my tips:

1) The more you practise and rehearse your routine, the more boring it becomes to you! After a while your jokes no longer seem funny to you and you start to question whether your material is any good. That isn’t a bad thing! When you lower your expections, naturally the chances of the opposite happening are higher. It’s like when you pick a card, you pick the 3 of hearts, and you’re asked to guess whether the next card is higher or lower than a 3, the chances are that it’s going to be higher…so when you don’t expect much, the return is always greater!

The temptation will be there to start re-writing your material…DON’T DO IT! If it was funny to you in the beginning, it’s still funny now, it’s just that you’ve become immune to them! There’s another bonus to that too in that you’re less likely to laugh at your own jokes on stage…and believe me, that’s a good thing! You can join in with the laughter once the audience start laughing…but laugh when they’re not and you’re in trouble!

2) One of the main challenges of doing a routine is memorising the wording, order and syntax of your gags. Mine was about 5 pages of A4 and I still had not remembered it with only 5 days to go! Here’s a good technique you can use to help remember your routine. Break down your routine into paragraphs, one gag per paragraph. Assign a key word to each paragraph, something that will trigger the gag in your head, keep a list of those words separately to your written material and as you start to remember your routine more and more from your script, keep the script out of site and just use the sheet with your keywords. Once you can do it with just your key words, try applying the pegging technique without the numbers but use the words and connect them with a story!

3) Don’t ask too many people about what they think of your gags. I asked one of my work colleagues what he thought of my opening gag and he wasn’t too impressed. It put doubts into my head and I nearly ended up taking that one out but I’m so glad I didn’t! Like I said it had them rolling in the isles! If it was funny in your head when you came up with it, chances are, a good portion of your audience are going to laugh at it! A better way to gauge your act is hold a rehearsal night and invite people around that are unlikely to be at the event and then do a full practise then. That is more likely to give you a clear indicator of what jokes are good and what are not.

I’m no expert, I just wanted to offer some of my learnings just incase you decide you want to give stand-up a go! :-)

A word of caution though…if, like me, you’re slow at getting jokes….then get faster broadband!! :lol: (One of the clean gags from my set!) ;)

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Dec 11

For the last 6 weeks I’ve spent much of my free time planning and writing material for a charity stand-up comedy event that I’m appearing in this coming Sunday. (16th December)

This is my first attempt and when I first accepted the challenge of doing stand-up initially I jumped at the chance! I thought the challenge would be great as a character building exercise and for learning some other new skills. All those are true but never did I for one second realise how much hard work goes into writing even a short 15 minute stand-up set.

Firstly you have to brainstorm ideas, come up with material and transform that material into humour. That in itself is a challenge! I alway find that the best ideas come to me while I’m driving or in the shower or doing something else and where there is no paper or pen to hand! Secondly you have to then re-write, practise, re-write, practise, re-write practise etc. I know, I ended there with 3 repetitions but trust me, that process is never ending! The practising part takes so much work! You don’t always know how you’re going to come across to the audience; are the jokes funny? Is the audience going to understand them? How shall I deliver the punchline?

I can quite easily say that over the last 3 weeks I put in at least 20-30 hours of work into creating and polishing my routine!

We had our first rehersal about 5 weeks ago and I wasn’t prepared at all. In fact I wrote most of my material about 2 hours before the event and I was still writing as I got my friends house. When it came to my time to perform, I was nomiated (forced) to go first I did my bit and all I got was one laugh from about 6 minutes of material. Needless to say I was completely devastated and embarrased! But, it was a great lesson and I made the headline act look incredibly good! :lol:

So I went away and I decided that the next time would be very different! I ordered two books off Amazon, one was called: “Getting the joke” and the other is called: “A step by step guide to stand-up comedy”. The first book so far hasn’t been of much use but the step by step guide has been incredibly useful! It’s written by Greg Dean and the foreword is by Steve Allen. I’m glad that this was the first book I decided to start reading. Like myself, Greg is a student of NLP and you can tell by the way that the book is written that he puts it to good use.

Before I even picked up the book I had no idea the mechanics in constructing a joke or even telling a joke. I’m quite good at impromptu humour when I’m in a face to face situation with one person but when I’m crowds I’ve always struggled to be “the funny one!”

The book starts off by giving the readers an introduction into the mechanics of creating a joke and smashing all the assumptions the audience creates in their minds, from the setup, with the punchline!

So I read this book through a few times and started re-writing my material. Initially my aim was to create clean routine with no blue humour, but I struggled, so I caved and decided to include plenty of swearing and jokes involving sex! I realised that this will probably work better anyway because the majority of the target audience is going to be young asian professionals from the age of 21 - 31 and so I realised that blue humour was probably a safer bet in securing laughs rather than going for a purley clean routine. It’s about a 50/50 split between clean and blue!

With only 5 days to go before the big day, I’m quite confident with the material I’ve written but have yet to still memorise everything. I decided today to put keywords next to each main segment and use that as my memory trigger points. Lets see if I can remember 5 pages of text in 5 days! ;-)

Wish me luck! I will report back on how it all goes along with my personal tips to you if you ever decide that you want to give stand-up comedy a go! :-D

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Nov 1

How to tell a friend you love them…How to ease your heartbreak.

For many Love = Friendship. So being in love with a very close friend leads to the next logical step of forming an intimate relationship.

I would love to be able to address this article at everyone but I think given the nature of the topic I think it would be difficult to do so although that doesn’t mean that not everyone can learn something from it. This is probably one of the most challenging and long articles I’ve ever decided to write simply because of the nature of the topic and the undefined way in which situations like this can be handled.

So firstly guys, my question to you: Have you ever been in love with or fallen in love with a friend only for them to turn around and reject you? Their answers might range from, “I see you just as a friend” or “I don’t feel that way about you.”

For many young men events like this can be both heartbreaking and soul destroying. I have been in that situation many times and even recently was in that same situation. I’ve heard so many stories where one party loves the other but the feelings weren’t returned. The truth is that situations like that are common and the first challenge is whether or not to act on your feelings. That in itself is a big challenge! For most guys, at the best of times, the decision of whether or not to go ahead and speak to a girl about their feelings is tough enough as it is. Firstly, you’re friends with this woman and it’s something you might value deeply. With that in mind you become faced with difficult choice: 1) Tell her and it could go either way. She will either feel the same about your or not and in which case the decision to tell her may permanently harm the friendship. 2) Don’t tell her and never find out how she felt about you. The element of regret can leave a lasting sting.

As I said earlier I can’t really speak from the perspective of what it must be like on the flip side for the woman in both ways, i.e. being on the receiving end but also being in the same situation and being in love with a friend! I’ve been in that situation more than once and a number of people have said to me that I fall in love to easily, it’s probably true, but I have a very loving nature towards all my closest friends and I do get attached quite easily. But in response to that attraction is such a natural thing and should never be frowned upon. I’m fortunate to have many close female friends who are have amazingly loving and good natured personalities as well as being beautiful. So naturally if I feel that the girl and I have a great friendship and in addition to that I find her attractive it seems like only natural to me that the next step would be to be honest with her and find out how she feels too. I know, I know, I make it sound easy I know but it’s where the rocky road begins.

Before I go any further guys, I don’t have all the answers, my sole intention with this article it to make that challenge just that little bit easier to handle. There is no dichotomy of a right or wrong way to handle this. You do however have to make a choice while taking into the consideration the feelings of the person you wish to tell and be understanding towards them. I’ve seen some guys totally undermine the womans feelings because they allowed their own hurt to saturate them and become totally oblivious to the females needs and end up leaving them hurt, lost, and a feeling that they’ve been abandoned by a friend.

So lets begin…

1) First and foremost, it’s time for me to be a bit brutal! Guys, don’t be such babies! This woman who you’re in love with isn’t the only woman you’re ever gonna love and if she doesn’t love you back it truly isn’t the end of the world! I know I’ve started off harshly but you have to accept this fact if you’re to stand a chance in making this thing work. React aggressively or childishly to her or her answer and you will end up blowing it for good! So first and foremost, before you do anything, give yourself a pep talk, if you’re too distracted get a friend you can confide in, tell them the situation and get them to give you a pep talk! Keep on telling yourself that no matter how this ends up, the most important thing is her, be understanding and compassionate towards her!

2) Make sure you plan a time and place to tell her properley! A time when you’re both alone, absolutely no distractions, just you and her, somewhere quiet where you can talk in your normal voice and can have good eye contact! Avoid doing it in a restaurant, at a club or anything like that, do it if you’re having a quiet meal at home and or watching a movie. Turn off the movie, finish your food and begin. Make sure you have nothing in your teeth though! :lol: For heavens sake, don’t do this over email, phone or text messages! If you do any slight misunderstanding could screw things up for good! It’s vitally important that she sees your body language and that you see hers!

3) When you get to that stage when you’re ready to tell her, don’t blurt out what you want to say, it might be a good idea to reassure her how much she means to you; that you will always be there for her and that you value your friendship highly! Once you’ve reassured her and made her feel at ease, it’s time tell her! Be honest and straight forward. Don’t try and tell her in a way which is indirect, it doesn’t serve you and you may not end up getting a straight answer which might leave you more confused then when you initially began down this path!

I can’t tell you what to tell her, that’s got to come from your own heart and soul, all I can do is put you in a better mental state in preparation for this big event!

4) Once you told her reassure her again! This is vitally important! Explain to her how much she means to you and that nomatter what she says that you will be there for her. If she feels the same way, then you need not read further! :-D If however she does not feel the same way about you it’s time to offer her some time. At this point, make you sure you gather yourself, this is a time where you might waffle something you didn’t mean to. Take a moment! Ask her if she would prefer it if you were to give her some room for a set period of time, e.g. a couple of weeks. Listen to her, acknowledge what she says, and respect her wishes!

5) Don’t run away because you’re upset!! Let the evening come to a close naturally and when it’s your time to go make sure you leave with a smile, again reassuring her! Once you’ve left, the heartache will really kick in! That being the case it would be worth having your pep talk friend on standby! Get them to accompany you somewhere! Go for some drinks, make sure you have someone there you can talk too! Despite what any macho guys might be thinking right about now, nope, strip joints and lap dancers aren’t going to ease your pain! Feel free to go do it if you want but it really won’t help or change the way you feel!

6) As tough as it might be for you to be around her, stick with her! If it gets to the point where your health is suffering then be honest with her. Don’t blame her, but do tell her honestly that you’re finding it tough. She will more than likely be understanding and compassionate towards you. Maybe explain to her that you need a bit of time away again reassuring her how much her friendship means to you! Take your time out but keep in touch with her, let her know that you’re thinking about her and are not just wrapped up in your own feelings. Do whatever you need to do during that time, but keep yourself occupied, don’t close yourself off from people, it’s people who will help you get through this challenging time!

Trust me guys, I’ve been there before, many a times! It’s even been a case where me and a friend have been in love with the same woman, in which case I’ve always yielded and in fact, I will do whatever I can to make help and support them getting together. It’s not easy but it’s because their friendship and my love for them has and will always be of paramount importance to me! If I had the choice of my happiness over my friend then my friend would win everytime hands down!

If you don’t have someone to talk to, you have me! You can get in touch with me if you wish. Whatever happens don’t bottle it up and even though times like this can be scary and painful there are other people out there who’ve been through it too and can help you. I hope in some way I’ve been of help in giving you chance in telling the person you love how you feel, whilst at the same time, keeping a close friend!

I wish you success with your friend, your potential future lover, I sincerely hope it goes well! :-)

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Oct 22

The power of flow…

I just finished reading the book called Flow by Mihály Csíkszentmihályi and it was one of the most well written, informative and practical books that I have read thus far. The principle of the “Flow State” is described on Wikipedia as:

The mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing, characterized by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.

I took a great deal of time reading this book through thoroughly as I felt there was so much information to asborb which was meaningful, solid and highly applicable to day to day living. Another great thing about this book is that in many ways it decribes what many of us may call spirituality and it is done in a way that everyone can understand and appreciate. I have always said that pretty much any activity can become “spiritual” if it is done with a spiritual mindset. For me, the “spiritual mindset” and flow state” is very similar. It could be any activity ranging from writing to golf, from motor racing to gardening!

The reason I mention this book is because I feel like this book would be extremly useful if it was introduced, not only to educators, so that they can explain flow and use it as a tool for children, but also re-written as version which young adults from the ages of 14-18 could appreciate. The language in the book is very simple, however it is quite long, so a condensed version would not only be easy to create, but would then be more enjoyable for young adults to read with pleasure and at the same time give them the ability to take more control of their lives. Who knows, maybe this is even a project I may take up myself or even propose to Mihály Csíkszentmihályi. :-D

It is books like I feel which will ultimately stand the test of time and will shape humanity in it’s own unique way. As time passes I get the impression that more and more people are understanding the principles behind the spirtual human evolution. Learning how to create the flow states within ones own life will be one of the major tools that people will look towards in terms of enriching and enhancing the human experience!

I wanted to share some quotes from the book with you:

“The general malaise is not due directly to external causes. Unlike so many other nations in the contemporary world, we can’t blame our problems on a harsh environment, on widespread poverty, or on the oppression of a foreign occupying army. the roots of the discontent are internal, and each person must untangle them personally, with his or her own power.”

“As people move through life, passing from the hopeful ignorance of youth into sobering adulthood, they sooner or later face an increasingly nagging question: “Is this all there is?” Childhood can be painful, adolescence confusing, but for most people, behind it all there is the expectation that after one grows up, things will get better. During the years of early adulthood, the future still looks promising, the hope remains that one’s goals will be realised. But inevitably the bathroom mirror shows the first white hairs, and confims the fact that those extra pounds are not about to leave.”

“The pursuit of a goal brings order in awareness because a person must concentrate attention on the tast at hand and momentarily forget everything else. these periods of struggling to overcome challenges are what people find to be the most enjoyable times of their lives.”

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Oct 1

My heart is sensitive and romantic and I believe that everyone in this world has that one special soul who they connect with. However recently, life has illuminated the reality of love, and essentially compartmentalised it into a ‘black and white’ order. I have been granted a brief look into the eyes of others around me, who see love as the manifestation of hormones, lust and desire. Where love has nothing to do with your heart or higher self’s purpose, but more of an indication of what other parts of the body are pulling you to do. The stark realisation of this fact aggrieves me; even though I have known it for years and am no stranger to its concept, I never the less find it a difficult and painful awareness to accept.

Have we as humans become so disconnected that even love has lost its mysterious potency? It has been handed over to our bodies and we are but slaves to its satisfaction.

The more I cling onto the thought that love is a beautiful, transformative, uplifting journey for your soul, the more I am forced to witness its corrupt expression.

However being a firm believer in the teachings of Abraham, I know that my thoughts are the powerful engines which shape my reality, therefore I understand that this moment in time serves me well to uphold my firm beliefs in love and what I REALLY want from the love of another.

Why should I bow down to an unnatural concept when my heart craves to experience the power of my creator through the love of another soul. Do I compromise my hearts calling for the sake of conforming to a lifestyle that is accepted by everyone else around me?

As I transmit my intention of love to others I am consistently made to feel guilty for asking for a love that is innocent and sweet, looked upon as though I have a warped, archaic perception of love. Have I always been the human dreaming of being the butterfly, who is now lost in the psychosis?

As you can see, my internal battle and quest to eliminate this loneliness brings pain, doubt and fear. However even though the world around me adopts such a view, I wish to live in my fantasy and hold on to my concept that this person who I fall in love with, will also have the view that love is a soul connection, and not just the result of chemicals and hormones surging around the body.

If this view is indeed a result of years of misconstrued understanding where the barrier between the dream world and real world has been breached, then I wish to allow this to grow within me. It gives me ‘hope’ and paints a picture of a world I ‘choose’ to live in, albeit a reverie.

So with this in mind, I allow the tears in my heart to dry and hold firm my views in the face of harsh truth and with god’s grace breathe in life and wait for the day when my fairy tale romance becomes my reality. I wish to be saturated in its magic, to bathe in its sweet aroma and to taste its intoxicating essence upon my lips!

Follow your dreams in the face of adversity – no matter what the cost!

Peace and Blessings – From a slightly broken heart, but i know i will heal! Kavi xxx

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Sep 10

Woooohooooo! :-D

The 100 day mark has arrived. For me this is a true milestone. When I first began this “100 days…” project it just started out as a little idea to keep me blogging regularly. Now I can see that it has the potential to go much further, who knows what else I can achieve with this idea. It’s just the beginning and I know it will go much further. Very shortly I will be begin a new “100 days…” project and it will have a slightly different theme. One thing is for sure, I’d like to make it more challenging for myself.

Throughout this wonderful journey, I’ve leanred many new and exciting things. Each day has brought with it a new adventure and a new understanding in how to live a more purposeful, spiritual life. Spirituality is everything that we do and if you can do it with a spiritual mindset, you will love every moment of life, no matter how challenging it maybe!

Always keep the relativity paradox in mind, you cannot know happiness without sorrow, you cannot know love without fear, you cannot know light without darkness. These things were created to so that we might know what it means to be loved and what it means to recieve it. We enjoy that feeling because we know it’s counterpart!

There are 10 things I want to share that will ehance the quality of your life, remember and use these 10 things and I promise that you will life will be more happy, enjoyable and fulfilled!!

1) Have fun with life! Don’t let your first response to people be about how stressed out or how depressed you are or about how busy you are. Always start you interactions on a positive note. If during your interaction you need to talk about your challenges then do so, then finish where you started, on a happy and light note, sharing what you’ve learned through that encounter, or just share a joke!

2) Challenges don’t disappear, they change form. Notice I say challenges and not problems. Problems are barriers, challenges are hurdles, hurdles can be leapt, it takes a leap of faith. Barries need to be broken down and take much more energy! It may appear to you that other people don’t face challenges, or that their challenges are not as challenging as the ones you face. That’s your own mind creating a story to hold you back from being where it is you want to be. Running away will not take away your challenges, changing jobs because you have a horrible boss won’t take your challenges away, they will change form. When challenges arise, face them head on!

3) Whatever your religious or spiritual beliefs, don’t hold so tightly to them so to you nothing else is true. Keep and open mind and listen to others when they share. Everyone’s point is valid and there is truth in every way of thinking as it all comes down to perception! There’s no need to challenge anyone else’s beliefs either, respect them, appreciate them, and share yours with spiritual pride. Views are not there to be converted, they’re there to be enjoyed and appreciated.

4) Our childrens education is not just dependent on the teachers. I consider every single child on this planet as my children and I make it my responsibility to educate them. Education doesn’t necessarily have to be of an academic nature, in fact, most often that’s not real education. Real education comes from what children see us do and then, in turn, emulate. Whether we like it or not, we have a responsibility to them as they will always follow our actions. They will adopt our attitudes and they will look to our actions to shed light where for them, there is none. Make it your responsibility to educate every child on this planet. The more we educate them, they more they will be prepared to deal with the challenges they will inevitably face.

5) Learn NLP! NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) has some pretty impressive, no nonsense, tools that you can use for improving your life. It will be one the best investments of your time and money that you can make. You don’t have to become an expert, even learning the basics from any “off the shelf book” and acquiring a basic understanding will improve the quality of your life and your relationships. It will enhance your skills no matter what profession you’re in, whether you’re a house husband, a lawyer, a high powered business woman, it will benefit you!

6) Even if your life is going amazingly well, get a Life Coach! I’m not being biased in this because I am one! :P In fact, when you’re life is going amazing is the best time to get one because they will be able work with you to enhance your performance! If your life isn’t going so great, get one and you’ll be amazed at the results. They don’t perform magic, they just know how to ellicit the best from people!

7) I’ve said it before many times and I’ll say it again! Follow the 5 a day rule! Make sure that you incorporate these 5 things into your day, every day! 1) Meditate, 2) Smile, 3) Laugh, 4) Give, 5) Appreciate! They don’t have to follow any particular order but if I were to say one was mandatory, it would number 5, to appreciate and have gratitude for everything in your life! If you can do that one consistently and regularly then the other 4 will pretty much come naturally!

8 ) If you’re not sure what to do with your life the sure fire way of getting out of that rut is to put yourself out there and try different things. Watching Eastenders, even at the best of times, isn’t going to improve the quality of your life. What will is being social, interactive and experimenting with various activities like a sport or doing some charity work! Activities like that will enhance your focus and give you some clearer purpose and direction. The rule of thumb is to do something that completely takes you away from what you would normally do. If you’re normally on a computer or games console, then get out there and try a new sport or go speed dating! Anything that challenges who you are is worth trying once!

9) So often these days the first thing a person will tell me about is how tired they are! I’m no doc but one of the main reasons why people get so tired is because we’re so used to cars and junk food and living a lazy lifestyle it’s no surprise that lethargy sets in. We’re no longer use to physical exertion! When you feel tired is the precise moment you should get up and do some physical activity, push your body beyond what it’s used to and soon you’ll start feeling less tired! Another reason it lack of “good quality” sleep. Even if you’re consuming small amounts of caffeine, your sleep will be affected. Cut out as much caffeine as possible and was your quality of sleep jump from 3/10 to a 8/10 and you’ll feel more fresh and rejuvenated. You’ll actually wake up feeling like you’ve had enough sleep and be ready for your day!

10) Last but not least, tip 10 is read my blog and make it part of your daily spiritual digest! :lol: Ok that was a joke! You are valuable and important, make sure you make time for yourself on a regular basis. Whether that be 20 minutes a day to have some quiet time or whether you take 1 whole day a month and dedicate it to yourself is up to you but make it a regular ritual! We dedicate so much time to everyone else and unless we take the time to look after ourselves and nuture our well being that any pleasures in life will be short lived. The more you make time for yourself and take a step out of your life and become a spectator with an attitude of gratitude the more you will feel naturally happy and the more you will enjoy life.

There we have it folks, my top 10 tips and learnings from the 100 days of wisdom! Thank you so much to all of you who have left me messages, comments, sent me emails of blessing and well wishes! I truly hope this has been something you’ve not only enjoyed but something that you’ve got use out of too! Stay tuned for the next 100 days series! :-D

With love,

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