Jun 19

24 hours in one day is a long time and there is so much that you can do with it. If you let it get repetitive every day will seem the same to you and you will get bored with life. Thats why I decided to create this list of 101 mini purposes or goals where you can pick and choose one to make the primary focus of your day. You will notice that the first 50 or so are quite random and more fun orientated whereas the last 50 or so are more specific in the area of personal development. I hope you get something out of this list and maybe even make one of your own! In fact create your own list and let me know when you have so we can link them all together so that people can get new ideas of goals they can keep throughout the day! :-D

1) Eat a little healthier
2) Smile more
3) Smile and talk to a complete stranger
4) Write a poem
5) Be a better listener
6) Try something completely new
7) Cut down on the junk food
8 ) Be more grateful for the food dished
9) Feel a bit better than yesterday
10 Help a stranger
11) Call an old friend and catch up
12) Stand tall in the face of adversity
13) Be a better driver
14) Write a song
15) Write a positive review of a product you like
16) Create a new TV show concept
17) Call a radio show and request a song
18) Enter a talent show
19) Start reading a new book
20) Start writing a book
21) Go for a drive with no destination in mind
22) Watch an old movie
23) Watch re-runs of your favourite TV shows
24) Go and see some famous works of art
25) Track down a lost friend and get in touch
26) Call a distant relative
27) Give some spare change to a beggar without thinking about what they might spend it on
28) Plan your strategy for becoming world famous
29) Start a trend
30) Create a cool new word that the young generation can catch onto
31) Organise a fantasy football tournament
32) Complete a crossword or soduku puzzle without help
33) Go old skool and write a letter to a pen-pal
34) Take a picture of something random and submit it to a photography competition
35) Make a fun video on your phone with your friends
36) Laugh for no reason
37) Poke some strangers on Facebook
38) Do some charity work
39) Raise some money for charity
40) Donate money to a random charity.
41) Do one ‘ARK’ (Act of Random Kindness)
42) Go explore a park
43) Get out the old photo albums and reminisce
44) Introduce someone who’s never see it to ‘The Secret’
45) Set yourself a challenge to double the money in your pocket by being savvy
46) Invent a new game
47) Play a board game instead of watching T.V.
48) Give someone a lift
49) Wear something you wouldn’t normally wear
50) Write an inspirational text message and send it onto friends
51) Wash your car
52) Focus on abundance for the whole day
53) Become more in-tune with people
54) Create a better rapport with people
55) Improve your attitude of gratitude
56) Remember that you have the power of choice at every step
57) Attract something simple like a sweet
58) Start a blog
59) Write a blog post
60) Let out pearls of wisdom you’ve been holding onto
61) Write to your favourite author or inspiration and say thank you
62) Shift your focus from the bad to the good
63) Focus on healing any minor ailments or injuries
64) Increase your sensory acuity
65) Give advice and guidance to those who need it
66) Ask yourself better questions
67) Pray
68) Meditate for brief moments throughout the day aka Minute Meditations
69) Practise following through on your decisions
70) Complete an unfinished project
71) Create some SOS’s (Simple Obvious Strategies) for enhancing your life
72) Focus on getting better at what you do
73) Practise being ‘in the moment’
74) Create a new way of doing a repetitive task
75) Look at a repetitive task in a new light
76) Listen to audio books throughout the day and at night
77) Apply your wisdom
78) Meditate in an open space like a park
79) Do some tai chi or yoga and allow people to join you if they wish
80) Get a book on NLP or EFT and learn it
81) Improve your memory and remember peoples names and other info
82) Find a good Life Coach and hire them
83) Start a new course or evening class
84) Learn to breathe more fully
85) Cook a healthy meal
86) Volunteer at a school and give some personal development tips to the students
87) Sort out your finances
88) Book some ‘you’ time
89) Be more charming and attractive to the opposite sex
90) Do a very challenging task e.g. walk on fire
91) Arrange a tournament of some kind
92) Get rid of clutter
93) Act more consciously
94) Appreciate the rain
95) Tackle something you fear head on
96) Overwrite a limiting belief with an empowering one
97) Anchor your positive emotions
98) Send out healing vibes to the whole world
99) Utilise the technology you have to do good
100) Get leverage on yourself to get into action
101) Write your own list of 101 mini goals/purposes for yourself.

Related Posts

Mar 15

Be afraid!

To put yourself into a position of fear is actually a good thing. Doing so on a regular basis is even better. Putting yourself in stressful situations is not and there is a very distinct difference!

The fear factor is wonderful! It’s the mechanism that tells us that we’re experiencing something new and something that is challenging us on every level. I had extreme fear the first time I went up to do the ‘Firewalk’ and I can in all honesty that it wasn’t the kind you associate with stress. It was a very different kind of feeling, I was very excited but scared at the same time.

That kind of fear is good for us; it’s when you do the thing that was giving you fear in the first place that you experience growth!

Stress based fear is very different and more often that not comes from being unprepared. You cannot be prepared for everything but you can prepare for most things that you know are coming your way and hence eliminate the majority, if not all, the forthcoming stress. Being prepared is probably the main key to the this and planning ahead also plays a big role.

You can also change your mindset and covert the stress into the healthy kind of fear by simply remembering that it is a challenge that is going to make you grow. It can be for anything too; like buying your first house or going for a job interview.

Also read...

Oct 1

My heart is sensitive and romantic and I believe that everyone in this world has that one special soul who they connect with. However recently, life has illuminated the reality of love, and essentially compartmentalised it into a ‘black and white’ order. I have been granted a brief look into the eyes of others around me, who see love as the manifestation of hormones, lust and desire. Where love has nothing to do with your heart or higher self’s purpose, but more of an indication of what other parts of the body are pulling you to do. The stark realisation of this fact aggrieves me; even though I have known it for years and am no stranger to its concept, I never the less find it a difficult and painful awareness to accept.

Have we as humans become so disconnected that even love has lost its mysterious potency? It has been handed over to our bodies and we are but slaves to its satisfaction.

The more I cling onto the thought that love is a beautiful, transformative, uplifting journey for your soul, the more I am forced to witness its corrupt expression.

However being a firm believer in the teachings of Abraham, I know that my thoughts are the powerful engines which shape my reality, therefore I understand that this moment in time serves me well to uphold my firm beliefs in love and what I REALLY want from the love of another.

Why should I bow down to an unnatural concept when my heart craves to experience the power of my creator through the love of another soul. Do I compromise my hearts calling for the sake of conforming to a lifestyle that is accepted by everyone else around me?

As I transmit my intention of love to others I am consistently made to feel guilty for asking for a love that is innocent and sweet, looked upon as though I have a warped, archaic perception of love. Have I always been the human dreaming of being the butterfly, who is now lost in the psychosis?

As you can see, my internal battle and quest to eliminate this loneliness brings pain, doubt and fear. However even though the world around me adopts such a view, I wish to live in my fantasy and hold on to my concept that this person who I fall in love with, will also have the view that love is a soul connection, and not just the result of chemicals and hormones surging around the body.

If this view is indeed a result of years of misconstrued understanding where the barrier between the dream world and real world has been breached, then I wish to allow this to grow within me. It gives me ‘hope’ and paints a picture of a world I ‘choose’ to live in, albeit a reverie.

So with this in mind, I allow the tears in my heart to dry and hold firm my views in the face of harsh truth and with god’s grace breathe in life and wait for the day when my fairy tale romance becomes my reality. I wish to be saturated in its magic, to bathe in its sweet aroma and to taste its intoxicating essence upon my lips!

Follow your dreams in the face of adversity – no matter what the cost!

Peace and Blessings – From a slightly broken heart, but i know i will heal! Kavi xxx

Also read...

Aug 15

StuHis passion is music (although he would argue it is chocolate!). His voice, so deliberate yet strategically subtle, gentle teasing you into submission for the message he brings. A winning combination to the lyrics, which are layered like a rich tapestry of life experience, higher learning, faith, goals and love. It’s like the poetic murmurings of a beautifully sung prayer – it touch’s your heart and leaves light in your soul!

Read the following in depth interview to uncover why this inspiring new artist is promoting the one thought “the human solution is a divine evolution” and why he has decided to donate his profits to a charity close to his heart.

So Stu, when and why did you start playing guitar, and when did you discover you had the talent to sing?

I asked for a guitar on my 16th birthday, as soon as I knew a few chords I started writing my own songs. A few months later I made my own studio by lashing together my ghetto blaster to my girlfriend’s dad’s stereo.
I knew I could sing as a child because I could imitate all the songs I liked, but I was v shy.

What are your fondest musical memories?

Playing my old Walt Disney record, yes vinyl! My favourite “I wanna be like you” over & over. Still know it word for word & every monkey noise.
Then my next favourite memory is when I was 17 & went to Dingwalls Jazz club on a Sunday afternoon. Giles Peterson was playing frenetic but musical 60’s bebop & two guys (I think maybe “brothers in Jazz”) were dancing, the floor just cleared for them. I can’t describe in words how I felt, the sound & the sight just moved me to tears as I stared, it was a v deep experience. They had such style, grace & physicality, the rhythm, joy & energy was shinning from them, the sound … it was a high that no drugs could come close too.
That experience got me into dancing, so I went every week to these Sunday afternoon jazz clubs, even on my own, it was so cool. Never packed & always full of interesting souls struttin n stepping, expressing their thing. You can see a person s soul through the eyes & how they move to rhythm.

So who are your influences?

The person who is the single biggest influence on me musically is my music teacher, Professor TV Gopalakrishnan, a master of Classical Indian music.

Who are your favorite musicians? Groups?

Musicians & influence is such an enormous question for me; so here goes. My musical training came from listening, first to the radio, with whatever caught my ear. As a young teenager I loved rock n roll, especially Little Richard, but the radio is so diverse & so my taste has always been diverse, but generally its Black music in its many forms. Growing older I could afford records: I loved the songs Prince did, up until about 90’s, loved hip hop beats, conscious lyrics of KRS1 & Chuck D, but the best flow was Big Daddy Kane. At that time you were either an indie kid or hip hop, I was the odd ball, I did like both, though I could only dance to hip hop. Indie songs, bands I appreciated. The breaks in hip hop got me into funk, JB being the obvious, but then the breaks began to get more obscure, jazz influenced & soon my record collection was well over 10,000; gospel, jazz, funk, soul etc.
No one name really stands out, but sooo many songs & artists have influenced me.

So how do you handle mistakes during a performance and do you ever get nervous before a performance?

Mistakes, if u don’t make a big deal of it, other people won’t either. When buskin on the underground I would actually be trying things out, writing, working ideas. True performance art ! the energy & vibe of all those people would become part of the creation. Busker’s do 2 hour slots, its all v official, sometimes for those 2 hours I’d work on 1 song, but people only hear 10 seconds of it so it cool. Any way if I didn’t make “mistakes” I wouldn’t get ideas. Of course I got nervous. The mind is such a trickster. Some days u listen to its crap more than others.

Do you work with other artists, If so who? and why?

Yeah, I got into doing my own stuff by working with others. My first single “Money” by Coco & the Bean, I did the rap for it. These guys did hip hop in their bedroom so this inspired me to do likewise. Currently I’m working with Sali, a Carnatic (south Indian classical) singer on an innovative dance track, also an RnB singer called Kavita, she’s great but keeps burping like Barney (Simpson’s) after a great vocal take.

Ha ha, very funny – I’ll get you back for that!
So, tell us about the REAL Stu?

Big question eh? I’m special, there’s no one quite like me. Then we are all unique & special so I guess I’m ordinarily special. I’m very blessed, I’ve had the opportunity to experience a “western” & “eastern” family life. I’m v healthy. Funny, well I laugh at myself. V positive, love life, especially people, but I think our potential is nowhere near reached. I’m also blessed with many talents, musical creations being the primary. But the more I witness people struggling with themselves, religion, God etc the more I realize that my most treasured blessing is having a direct communication with the divine. I always feel truly at ease with my personal faith & this actually also makes me feel at ease with any religious faith. Religious texts are words but the wisdom is woven between the words, interpretation depends on the heart & mind of the reader. The essence of love is universal, humanity is corrupted by ego. Music transcends all this political egotistical crap because its feeling comes not from words but the movement of notes. Like love it has its universal law. I study Carnatic music because the “laws” that define this music have evolved over thousands of years & its focus is more internal, it has more culture, not to say its better, but it has a different emphasis. It will be many more years before I will master this art but its influence will permeate into my creations.

Why do you want to record and release your own music?

I make one big assumption in life: if I like something, other people will also like it, not everyone, but then not everyone likes Thai red curry, but I do.
“I admit, this rhyme is not mine, it’s inspired, divine….” That’s a quote from “Beats n Love” but it reflects my music. I feel that my music will inspire other people, whether it’s a social or political comment or whether its lust or love, my tunes are varied, but whatever the message & emotion that combination of notes conveys, other people will share & appreciate hearing it.
I feel I have a “product” which is not eclectic, cliquey but has a wide appeal. I want to get “mass” appeal, that will mean more influence, power & of course money. With those ingredients I stand a chance of creating a school for deprived kids.

How do you describe your music to people?

It depends who I’m talking to. Music is a science, its full of maths, symmetry, structure, its incredibly beautiful. Its nature & nature is not as crazy & abstract as many people think. If you are not aware of the fundamentals of it, then how can it be discussed? If u wanna chat like a critic then its all about your perspective, your interpretation & feeling. Many people may share that feeling but not everyone so its not really a discussion.
My music is natural, so without trying it has a structure, symmetry, flow etc. its natural because its inspired: by the millions of songs, rhythms & nature, by life, energy & love.

Out of the songs that you have written so far, which one is your favorite and why?

“On my way” seems to be a big favorite, I like it cos its catchy & has a great positive message. Its not my personal favorite. My favorites are some of my earlier tracks which wont be released till I’m in a position of having a great studio & engineer to do them justice. The sound scape of them is amazing, I would spend sometimes up to 4 months on one track. Now I spend about 4 weeks.
What challenges have you had to face in order to pursue music?
Time has been the biggest challenge. I’ve needed a lot of time to be ready for this release. Physically, spiritually, mentally as well as musically. I’ve practiced yoga for 15 years, studied martial arts, Sufiism, Carnatic music, ayervedic medicine, dance, all to get a balance in my life. I trained to become a school teacher, its all part of the BIG plan, its starting to come together. My drive has pushed me through some v tough times, fate has continually pulled me along. I’m ready now.

Why have you decided to donate your profits to charity and why have you chosen this charity?

The Parry Charitable foundation is a small independent charity that provides a loving home for handicapped children. It’s standard of care is high & there is a big waiting list. Every penny from donation goes into helping the kids NOT on administration. ALL the workers are volunteer, most charities 70% of your donation goes into paying their admin costs.
I know this charity & sometimes work there myself, for these reasons I donate to them.
In the long term I want to set up my own school for deprived children. I’m a qualified school teacher, yoga teacher & scientist as well as many other “life” skills. From a young age I would talk to God. When I was 12 years old I received instructions to help deprived children. This goal is my purpose, music is the vehicle to propel me there.

OK, finally what does “the human solution is a divine evolution” really mean?

It’s from the track ‘On my way’….
Ok this small phrase has a big meaning, & rather like a sutra in yoga text, a surah in the Holy Qur’an or verse from the Holy bible its open to interpretation. Unlike those wonderful books of wisdom the writer is fortunately for me still around. So here’s the intended meaning: evolution; this word is kicking up a big fuss lately, in America some schools are refuting the scientific evidence & claiming the “literal” bible version of evolution. Well books of ancient wisdom such as the Old Testament were written with hidden meaning & depth that belies a superficial surface. The true value of the words lie in studying those hidden meanings. The Darwin theory of evolution & the scientific evidence is compatible with religion in fact it’s magnitude & beauty reinforces a divinity & creation. However this is not the platform for this debate & as I said before, interpretation is dependant on perspective. What’s important is that evolution is not HISTORICAL its continuous. We are still evolving & compared to the history of the world we have just climbed down from the trees. If you look at how we behave we are still as ruthless as we ever were as beasts. Capitalism is the law of the jungle but applied to the City. “Only the strong survive. “ Fortunately this is not the whole story. All over the world people are silently working, giving unconditional love to those who are in need or weaker. I believe that right now, historically, we are at a cross roads of evolution. Technology is changing our lives & the global communication phenomena can & is spreading a message of love. It’s mixed up with violence & sex but Its harder to get any more violent than we are, its impossible to take off any more clothes, but the message of love is limitless & individuals & groups everywhere are able to contribute & unify in a way even the hippies never dreamed off. I read in a Sufi book once (can’t remember which one, sorry). “When we act like animals we are worse than the animals but when we act like angels we are better than the angels.”
Its just a case of time. When will we choose the path of love?

Thank you to Stu for sharing his work with us and giving us the time for this interview, and thank YOU for reading the article.

Peace and Love

If you would like to know more about this artist, then please check out his website WWW.STUSOUNDS.COM

Special thanks to the designer of the website: Pj (www.websitedesignz.net) and Phil (www.macpips.com)

Article written by: Kavita Sohanta - I DO NOT burp in between songs! :)

Also read...

Jun 27

Just as overt aggression doesn’t achieve much in the long run, the same goes for being passive. The most beneficial place to be is one where you know how to assert yourself where it is needed and then take a step back and let others share when they need to be heard.

Firstly, assertiveness comes from knowing that what you have to say is important and it counts. If you believe that your ideas don’t mean much and no one will want to listen to them, you’ll go straight into passive mode and afterwards, the chances are, you’ll end up regretting it. Thoughts like: “Nah, that’s stupid, if I say that people will think I’m silly!” Will naturally cause you to pull back and regress into yourself. So the next time you notice yourself doing that you’ve got to break that habit and say to yourself: “I’m going to share my thoughts and ideas because I count and they are great ideas!”

Validate yourself, thought and ideas on a regular basis to get yourself into the habit of creating a more assertive thought pattern and hence becoming more assertive in your day to day situations.

Also read...

Jun 5

Presence!

Have you ever been at a party or function of some kind and you notice that there is always one person who has an amazing charisma that manages to be the centre of attention without even trying? They even do it humbly! Everyone has the potential to exhibit that kind of vibe and I will tell you six things that kind of person does without fail!

1) As they greet each person, they treat them as if they are the most important person in the room! Not only that, they also take the time to introduce strangers to one another!

2) They smile!

3) They use their body to it’s full potential, i.e. they gesticulate a lot, they laugh loudly and when they dance, they dance with a purpose! Even when they walk, they walk with rhythm!

4) They emanate a cool aura of confidence that comes from genuine inner belief rather than arrogance that they are better than anyone in that room.

5) They don’t try and steal the room, but through practise they’ve become experts in naturally taking over the room!

6) The treat everyone equally!

Want to be the attention grabber? Try employing some of these factors the next time you go to a party and watch everyone stand back and wonder at you; how does s/he do it?

Also read...

May 15
This entry is part 13 of 32 in the series 100 Days of Wisdom

I would so much rather take a chance and know, rather than not take it and never know!

Related Posts

May 12
This entry is part 10 of 32 in the series 100 Days of Wisdom

Don’t look down!

Even the most brave would experience some levels of vertigo when they reach great heights and by looking down! Looking down (in this case, the past) can create great waves of uncertainty. How did I get this high? What if I fall? What if I can’t keep climbing? Only when you keep looking up will you be able to keep climbing up!

On occasion, it’s good to admire the view though! ;)

Related Posts

Mar 29

In my last articled titled Confidence Vs Experience I briefly touched on some aspects about confidence and I thought I would take that avenue and explore it further, to give you some methods of creating bags of confidence, that you can carry with you wherever you go and use for whatever you wish.

I’m not an expert in this area, but I do have some ideas on how I feel titanium like confidence can be forged so I will be putting these into practise for myself. I’ll be explaining some of the EDTA’s (Essential Daily Thoughts & Actions) that I will also be employing on a day to day basis to make me more confident in all area’s of my life. It’s important to remember that confidence and arrogance are two totally separate traits. They cannot be exhibited at the same time. Arrogance is not confidence and confidence is not arrogance.

So why does it seem like some people are born with confidence and others are as timid as kittens?

Let me use the example of a guy who I see as having all the confidence in the world when it comes to approaching women and talking to them. Lets call this person guy A. Then there’s the other type of guy who gets sweaty palms, they start stammering and totally turn the whole thing into a dogs dinner! We’ll call this guy B.

What is the difference between these two types of guys? Did A inherit his super confidence from his parents? Did he go on a course? Was he blessed with this talent from God? Was he born with it? Is it part of his genes? Did guy B miss out on the confidence gene? Was it because of a bad past experience? Was it because his parents were unconfident and he learned from them? I’m sure that all of these factors have had an impact although to a minisucle degree! But it’s very simple, it’s their psychology!! It’s what they’re thinking in the moments before they actually take action and approach the beautiful lady across the room that makes the difference between A and B going home with that girl or going home alone.

I guarantee that guy A tries and fails a hundred times more than guy B but the way that guy A and B interpret the information from those failures is completely different. Guy A will take that failure, figure out what worked and what didn’t work and use those learnings for the next time. Whereas guy B, the perfectionist who expects way too much of himself, wasn’t successful, feels that he is a failure in that area of life and decides that he’s no good at approaching women and decides feels that any future attempts will be futile.

Confidence is inner belief manifested through action. You may have already noticed that whatever you are thinking when undertaking any task it going to have a huge impact on the outcome of a task. For example: When I play badminton, I’ve often noticed that if I’m winning a game, I have trouble in converting those points into an actual win and closing out the match. Why? Because near the end of the game I start worrying about what mistakes I might make. It is me, thinking about all the mistakes I could possibly make and then doing exactly that.

Before I go any further, let me ask you, are you truly commited to changing your old ways and converting it into the confidence of a stallion? You must understand it takes work, it takes commitment but the changes and rewards will be well worth it if you choose to put in the time.

From here on out I’m assuming that you are 100% commited to being more confident and will follow these steps to go through the process of change

Step 1 - Be honest!

In my example earlier I talked about some of the challenges guys face when approaching women. That’s one of many examples but the principles to apply are exactly the same. So firstly what areas of your life would you like to gain greater confidence in? I’m going to be completely honest here and tell you my three….i always pretend to be more confident than I am but here are my three:

1) I want to be more confident in approaching women
2) I want to be more confident in my skills, more specifically, badminton, but in one or two additional areas
3) I want to be more confident in my skills and abilities to produce results as a Life Coach

So go on, what are your 3?

Step 2 - Notice the patterns

As with every shift in mindset you must first start to notice the patterns of your own thinking. Remember that your habitual way of thinking is unconsciously determining the outcome of many aspects of your life. Take one of your three above and look closely at the way you think. If you cannot see where your thinking is letting you down perhaps get a close friend to look at this with you. Write down the dialougue of your thought pattern. What words are you saying to yourself, what pictures are you seeing? What sounds are you hearing? What are you feeling? Take special care not to pollute this what you would like to have in your mind or be feeling. We’ll get to that part later, for now, as honestly as possible, make notes on those points.

Step 3 - Interrupt the patterns

Once you become aware of your patterns the next step becomes easy! Lets say for example, that you’re not very confident around other people and that you often put yourself down. You now have a much clearer understanding of what it is that’s causing your behaviour. You have it right in front of you the patterns of destruction that you’ve been doing so often that have led you to think that you’re not worthy or don’t have as much as everyone else to offer. Now that you know, it’s time to change it. As soon as you notice yourself doing it, you’re going to change it. You’re going to change it not by fighting it and trying to install a new pattern of thinking. You’re going to Interrupt it by thinking of something that makes you feel good. In my case, I’m going to think of the James Brown Song: “I Feel Good.” I’m litereally gonna sing that song in my head and imagine myself doing some James Brown style funky moves! I’m going to keep doing this enough until I’ve interrupted the old pattern enough that I just can do that pattern of thinking anymore, I automatically begin to think of James Brown instead.

Step 4 - Install the new pattern

This is where it can vary slightly from situation to situation but again the underlying principle is the same. Just a few minutes a day is all this takes and this step will transform your results for the rest of your life. Create some time to sit and visualise the perfect scenario. Wipe clean that slate of images of failure that you may have created in the past and start making the internal visual rehersals of the ideal outcome that you want for any given situation. Imagine yourself making all the right moves, say all the right things, have the perfect body language, oozing with confidence at every step. When you do this on a regular basis you’ll find you’ll automatically begin to do these things when the situation arises. These rehersals will automatically repattern you into doing the things that you feel represent the ideal outcomes and results for any given situation.

If in the past you used to create small faded images of having a drink thrown over you by a woman, then instead create large bright images of the woman being completely interested in what you’re saying and laughing at your jokes! Your imagination is the limit!

Step 5 - Do your homework!

Whatever area you want to boost your confidence in, do your homework! Research those who are the masters of their trade! If you want to become more funny and be more confident in telling your jokes, then study the master comedians and have some material always in your mind that you can draw from to make people laugh! :lol:

—

I will be putting this actions into practise myself and so I will be working with you on this all the way. If you want any help with this, feel free to leave me a comment or just email me on amit@unlimitedchoice.org and I’ll assist you with in anyway that I can. ;)

Also read...

Mar 22

ConfidenceIn a world where experience is valued so highly and confidence is given a bit of a bad rap in comparison, I aim to examine this mindset and find the answer to the question about which is more valuabe to you. That’s not to say that either has more power than the other, but when you know where each comes from and the value that it has you can then utilise that to maximum effect. Anyone who’s ever been for a job interview for example, will know that you are a hundred times out of a hundred going to be asked the question: “What experience do you have?” While I personally do value experience highly, I believe it in many ways to be a lesser tool in creating the life you ideally want to choose.

Since I do Life Coaching, lets take this as an example. If you wanted to find a Life Coach that was perfectly suited to your needs, what would be the first thing you would search for in your Life Coach? What qualities would you search for? I’m guessing that you would probably scour the net and search for one with a great website that grabs your attention! Marketing aside, when actually making your final selection what would you be looking for? Experience? Qualifications? Confidence? Recommendations? Testimonials? What would be the deciding factor for you? When I picked my Life Coach, it had nothing to do with her experience, and everything to do with her confidence. We met completely by accident on the internet and she isn’t even a trained Life Coach by profession. But I saw straight away that she had amazing confidence and that grabbed me the most and I decided that I wanted her and no one else as my Life Coach.

How highly do you value your own experience in whatever it is that you do and do you feel that it’s been the most important factor in you getting to where you are, or are wanting to be? The danger with constantly looking at our own experience is that we can restrict or deny ourselves from persuing our dreams just because: “I don’t have enough experience!” I can’t think of a worse way to live life because if it wasn’t for my confidence and persuit of my dream 8 years ago, I would never have gotten my first I.T. Job for the one of the worlds largest investment banks with no qualifications, no degree and barely any experience!

Experience can often hold you back from doing the things you’re capable of doing just because someone has said to you: “you don’t have enough experience!” Anytime anyone has said those words to me I wanted to tell them where to go in the nicest spiritual way possible but in my head I always end up swearing however I won’t share that here as there maybe women and children present! :lol:

Yes, experience is extremely important, but where you lack experience, you must make up for it with confidence! Confidence will be the driving force that will make your dreams come true. So you might ask: “How do I gain confidence or How do I become confident at something I’ve never done or have no experience of?” Those are all good questions and there are several ways of building your confidence to a degree where your confidence will determine your moving forward, not your experience.

Before I move onto those it’s important for me to mention that whatever experience you do have, can be elicited for any other task you choose to apply it too. Your experience should never ever be discounted but it also should never be the deciding factor for you. If you truly want to do something, experience or not, your levels of self belief are priceless. I also want to make it clear that confidence and arrogance cannot occupy the same space or time! They are not the same thing, they’re not even similar or close! Someone with confidence would never be arrogant as arrogance stems from insecurity. It is a result of lack of self belief manifesting an attiude of: “I am better than you.” Someone with true confidence would never need to think that and in fact would use their confidence to assist others in building theirs.

Here are some ways of raising your confidence and self-belief so that you can utilise it in a variety of situations whether that be to do with career, relationships, business, sports, etc, these tools apply to all.

1) I’ve already mentioned before the principle of ghosting. Ghosting is a tool to physically and mentally practise your actions and steps without being in a live situation. In the example of sport, lets take the game of squash, you would be on a squash court, practise your strokes and moves with an imaginary opponent but in your mind you imgine that you’re in a real game! You can do the same for any situation. You can pretend you’re in an interview and are being asked questions and you give outstanding answers. You can practise your body language, gesticulation, any aspect of it you wish! If you’re a young guy like me and you want to practise asking a young lady on a date, ghost or rehearse it first. Do it in front of a mirror, check your stance, your posture, your demeanor, practise what you’re going to say, all of these methods will boost your confidence 100 fold!

2) In point 1 I briefly touched upon body language. I only touched upon it but it probably one of the biggest factors in devoloping your confidence to superhuman levels. Your body is your largest communication device. Every thing you do with your body sends out a message. For example, you’re listening to someone speak but you yawn or your eyes keep wandering or you keep looking at the time. What message does that send? You MUST learn to know what your body is communicating at any given moment! If you need to practise in front of a mirror, that’s perfectly alright. I’m sure in the privacy of your own home you will always have the opportunity to do that. The secret is, imagine yourself as confident in whatever you do, and as you look at yourself in the mirror, see clearly how your body is behaving. Observe what confidence looks like. Find a role model who exudes confidence and mimmick their body! I say it again! YOUR BODY IS YOUR BIGGEST COMMUNICATION DEVICE! Learn how it talks and you will truly find your confidence levels soaring through this one step alone!

3) The third and final tool for enhancing your confidence is literally, get good at things! If you’re good at nothing, try taking up something new, maybe a sudoku puzzle, chess, a sport, running. What are you good at? Write a list of the things you’re very good at and think about how you became good at it and how you exhibit your confidence while you’re doing it! Maybe you’re great at computer games! Maybe you’re great at public speaking! If anyone says to me that they’re not good at anything, I would turn around and say: “Thats not true, you’re a great liar as everyone is good at something!!” :P You have a talent, bring it to the surface and ask yourself what it is that gives you that talent and how does your confidence show?

There we have it. Your confidence is probably the biggest gun in your arsenal, it supersedes your experience because it will be the thing that puts all your experience in combined form to good use and help you to make your dreams come true!

Be confident! :)

Also read...

Mar 8

One of the things I’ve been taught, when it comes to sports, is to practise the art of ghosting. What is ghosting? Ghosting is where you practise the game or movements by yourself whilst imagining yourself to be in the live situation. So, if for example, you’re a squash player, you may book a squash court on your own and pretend to have a game. During that time, you’ll focus on your fitness, movement around the court, your pretend strokes of the ball, but your mindset must be that you’re actually playing a real match. In your mind you visualising the perfect shot and footwork every time, you’re pretending that your opponent is superior to you and yet you’re finding the perfect strokes and match play to equal their game.

In many ways it’s synonymous to shadow boxing, you as the boxer may not have an opponent but you pretend you have one and sparr just the same. It’s like you’re sparring against an imaginary opponent, you imagine the moves that your opponent would make. You visualise all the possible moves your phantom adversary would make, anticipate the moves and react accordingly. You train your muscles to react without the conscious mind taking up valuable proccessing time.

I do the same in badminton. When I’m waiting for a game to finish or waiting for a court to become available, I’ll use that time to ghost to train my muscles to move and react in the way that I choose. It’s always the shots that I consciously think about which are the ones that I get wrong. So if you can train your unconscious to do all the hard work, there is nothing left for your conscious mind to do. In badminton the shutttle can travel at speeds of up to 200MPH. In a fast paced game, if the opponent is attacking, you rarely have more than a quarter of a second to react to the oncoming shuttle, it’s all the work of the unconscious mind.

But ghosting doesn’t just apply to sports, you can apply to the same technique to whatever aspect of your life you choose. It’s not always practical, in all cases, to do ghosting with the physical movements. But you can ghost in your mind through visualising. I remember when I was at the Tony Robbins UPW seminar back in September. The first night, the Friday, was the day that we would be doing the firewalk. I was so nervous because I had bruised my foot quite badly the night before and could barely walk. But two hours prior to us doing the firewalk Tony began to train us on the mental preparation before walking across the glowing red hot coals. Instead of feeling the fear of being burnt, or falling, or doing something stupid in front of thousands of people (which is what most people were probably imagining at that point), he showed us that we could construct, in our minds, exactly how we wanted the walk to go. We created funny animations of the walk in our minds. We played it backwards, forwards, from different angles, with cartoon like actions, but we solely focused on the success, not the failure. The more whacky and vivid you ghost, the more successful you will be.

You can do the same too! Whether you have a big presenation to get ready for at work, a huge sporting event, or you’re just getting ready to tell someone how you feel. ;) Ghost the scenary in your mind. A while back I wrote an article called P.I.C.’s. Create some super P.I.C.’s in your mind and visulise that ultimate success coming through every action that you take!

No scary failure ghosties, only the kind succesful helpful ones please! :-)


If you love sports and are interested in new baseball bats or need other equipment such as baseball pants or possibly even baseball shoes then check us out today for what you’re looking for!

Related Posts

Feb 9

We live in a world where we’re surrounded by masses of technology, so much is expected of us, we have more responsibility than ever before, our time is precious and not only is more expected of us, we’re expecting more of ourselves. With all of this in mind, it’s no surprise that illness, both physical and mental, is prolific throughout society!

There is so much for us to juggle that often we just become bogged down and find that joy eludes us because all we can do is think about the next thing that we have to doing or the next event we have to be at. I’ve noticed though that many people use the term: “I’m busy” not because they have too much on their plate, but because the things that they do choose to undertake are badly managed and that is what causes the “BB syndrome” as I call it. (BB= Busy Bee) I’m completely guilty of it too! It almost became an excuse so that I could get out of doing things or seeing people just because I wanted a bit of time to myself.

When we get to that stage where we begin feeling overwhelmed, we try and find solutions, but because we’re used to living in a complex world with complex systems, we think that the solution must also be complex. And then what happens? Because the solution you’ve formulated is so complex, you end up giving up and going back to suffering from the BB syndrome. It’s easier that finding great management strategies, but if no action is taken, all your time and energy is gobbled up by churning over all the things that you have to attend to, rather than taking action.

I was in a situation quite recently where I wasn’t enjoying my job. It was really frustrating me as I love working in I.T. in general, but after I got promoted just over a year ago, things went downhill and I really started to feel quite depressed when I was at work. Ironically, I was finding that everyone else around me was busy and I had nothing to do which really frustrated me! Even though it gave me time to blog and do various other things it was still a bit soul destroying being in place where I earn my livelihood and finding no fulfillment in what I was doing.

I’d had enough! I was so frustrated and I just could handle it anymore. I was on the verge of quitting but first I asked myself, what can I do to turn this around? I tried a few things like getting more involved with some of the other teams, but that didn’t help. I tried making work for myself but that didn’t help. I tried all sorts of things but nothing was getting results. But then I came up with a relatively simple plan, I had no idea if it was going to work or not, but it was so simple that I new that trying it would be easy and hassle free. Deep down I knew I’d found the answer to turn my situation around, but I put that feeling aside and just tried it out.

I formulated a simple strategy for gaining greater fulfillment at work. It wasn’t a supremely complex 50 point plan or didn’t involve taking drastic or massive action, all it took was a simple goal, a very simple strategy that turned things around.

My strategy was simply this:

TO LEARN ONE NEW THING EVERY DAY! 8O Would I be able to manage it? :P

To clarify; it didn’t have to be anything technical, I didn’t have to learn the complete working of a particular piece of hardware, nope, nothing like that, I just wanted to learn the simple stuff every day. Recently we installed a brand new VOIP (Voice over I.P.) system and that was a huge project, of which, I only had a small part. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get my hands dirty in all area’s of the project, so I decided that whatever I do get involved in, I will make sure that I learn something new from it everyday.

One day, I had a real headache of a problem, A Cisco network switch kept crashing when we switched it on. At first, I thought it was faulty cable, so I changed all the cabling. That didn’t work! Then I thought it might be a faulty GBIC card (A fibre optic component of the network switch). I changed it, but that didn’t work. Then I thought that port itself was faulty so I plugged the GBIC into a different port, that also didn’t work! Then I thought the fibre uplink going in the port of the PASSPORT (A giant core network switch) was faulty so I plugged it into a different port, that still didn’t work!! I then thought: “There’s only one thing left that it can be!” That was that the Cisco switch itself must be faulty. I swapped that too and guess what? It still kept crashing!!! This whole process of elimination took me two days in total, by which time 90% of my hair had turned Grey, :P but I was not licked yet! I thought: “Let me plug each network cable into the switch one by one and see what happens?” I did that and found that one particular cable caused the switch to crash! BINGO! At least now I knew that it was something plugged into the switch that was causing the problem! (Something that I thought initially but dismissed!) It turned out that someone had double plugged one of the VOIP phone into the wall ports and that was causing a loop which shutting down the port on the PASSPORT! (I promise no more techical jargon from this point onwards! :lol:)

So, I learned something new, actually I learned two things: 1) To trust my gut, and 2) That if that happens to a network switch in the future to try that avenue first!

Even though it was a stressful couple of days, that simple strategy made me feel more relaxed less stressed and also gave me greater confidence for the future. It took my focus away from the stress of the problem and put it onto what was good about the problem.

So in a nutshell, my simple strategy became applied in two ways. At the beginning of my working day I ask myself: What new thing can I learn today? At the end of the day I ask myself: What did I learn today? This extremely simple strategy turned around my entire feeling with regards to my job to the point where I now actually look forward to getting to work everyday. I’m now enjoying my job much more, I feel much lighter at work and even though it’s much busier, I’m not feeling the stress of it.

There we have it, the greatest transformation can come from the most simple strategies. It doesn’t take a major change or a huge 50 point plan or jumping off a cliff to find a solution. All it takes is one SOS and you’ll find the world around you transform in your favour. So let me ask you, what area of your life are you struggling with and what is the most SOS that you can think of to turn your situation around?

Happy hunting! :)

The Secret DVD

Also read...

Jan 19

Someone put up a thread on Steve Pavlina’s forums regarding feeling tired, lazy and stressed all the time, it intrigued me and as I was in a similar boat a while back and so I thought I give my tips on how to get over that phase…Here are the tips I gave. (Go and read the thread first!) ;)

Some tips for you for someone who was in exactly the same boat recently.

1) If you can’t be bothered to read, just like me somtimes, get some audio books, put them on at night before you go to sleep. I don’t always feel the urge to read and so audio books on PD are a perfect solution. I listen to Deepak Chopra, Tony Robbins, Steve and Erin, Neale Donald Walsch, Abraham Hicks, MP3 books on NLP etc…I find that having them on gets me to sleep quickly but fills my mind with some of the good stuff. :)

2) Eliminate coffee! The choice is yours, if you don’t want to, don’t have any after midday. I gave up coffee at the beginning of October and my quality sleep went, from a scale of 1 - 10 where 1 is bad, from about a 2, to probably at least an 8 or a 9.

3) At the moment your head hits the pillow, Set your intentional alarm clock. Say this intention out loud in your head - “I am going to sleep deep, and arise energised!” Say it a few times and make sure you say it with energy, passion, and feeling it!! I have been using that for the last month, didn’t have impact for the first few weeks but since the beginning of this week I’ve been waking up at 5.30am on the dot with little effort.

If you’re always tired you’re sleep isn’t deep enough and that usually comes down to high levels of caffeine in your system and probably stress.

4) Wake up to ascending music. Something uplifting, something that gives your spine a tingle!

5) If you have trouble setting your body clock to sleep early, stay awake an entire night, and go to bed early the next and arise early. That method has always done wonders for sorting out my sleeping pattern.

6) STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP. If you do that, all you’re doing is giving yourself incantations of failure. Even when you’ve failed, know that you’ve sown a seed of success and only focus on the true end result that you desire with Joy, excitement and fire!

I don’t know if this is any help to you but all of these things have truly benefited me immensely!

Also read...

Dec 1

I’ve now worked with children from various backgrounds for the past 3 years and once thing I’ve realised is that there isn’t a single child I’ve met that didn’t have incredible potential. I’m not just saying this to keep people happy but there is absolute truth to this. Every child I’ve met has been unique and had talents in unique areas.

Just a few weeks ago, the group of children I was working with had to design a housing estate. They had to not only physically create a model for their idea but they also had to do a presentation in front of the rest of their year. In the presentation they had to explain what the inspiration was for their plans explaining why they had designed it the way they did and what the specific features of their estate were: e.g. off street parking, playing areas for children, sanitation, limited access to traffic etc.

Each group consisted of 5 - 6 children. (When I say children, in reality they are all young adults and were all around 14 - 15 yrs old.) Within each group they had to decide amongst themselves what roles they would play for the task. They could either be a design manager, a managing director, a planning manager, a marketing manager etc, from start to finish the task was at their hands with minimal input from me. They had an hour and a half to complete the task and during that time I visited each group to see what ideas they came up with. All of the groups that I observed did extremely well in all areas. They came up with some fantastic designs, they worked well in their teams even though we separated friend and peer groups and they all settled into their roles extremely well.

While I was observing I noticed that deep down each child knew what they wanted to do. While there were some who were more vocal and were happy to voice their opinions, some were quieter than others and had less confidence in expressing themselves and what particular part of the project they wanted to get stuck into. However eventually I think most of them ended up doing what they wanted to do. Some wanted to get involved with the actual design and layout of the housing estate model, some wanted to design the estate agency window layout and the selling point for the houses on the housing estate. Others just wanted to oversee the whole project and get involved with the marketing, the design and the overall management.

At the end of the task all the groups came up with some fantastic ideas and we as a panel had to judge and decide who was the winner overall (which is never an easy thing to do).

I couldn’t believe how much creativity, enthusiam, drive, focus and knowledge they showed through the entire project. I was stunned by the amount of effort they put into the task but more so than that I was shocked by how little they were aware of their own potential for creativity! It was clear that most of them were unaware of the talents they had they had never been shown or told of their amazing array of talents. Grades don’t always paint the right picture for children but telling them and making them aware, of their diverse talents, does! If we do not nurture those skills then those children will remain unaware of them and less likely to be able to make use of them towards their future goals. Because they are unaware at a conscious level, at the unconscious level they be left feeling unfulfilled.

Simple recognition is one powerful and simple way to make them aware. Even those children who were disruptive showed wonderful potential for leadership. But how would they know that if they’re always told be quiet and not disrupt the class?

We must encourage our young ones and let them know what talents they so that they can grow into confident adults who believe in themselves. :) Know how to find out there talents and find a way of encouraging and emerging that talent whether directly or indirectly.

Show them, know them, guide them, encourage them, love them, nurture them.

The Secret DVD

Also read...

Sep 20

A little poem i wrote, written while on my travels!

I take one journey, hop onto the next

Never knowing what destination awaits me

Stir of anxiousness inside my belly, excitement, fear, worry

Drowning my senses

Echo’s whisper inside my mind, swaying me from side to side

Never brings me peace, but keeps my sleep restless

Keeping me small as I run out of time

Flowing so passionate for love to give you

Never being selfish to the feelings I feel

Being your shoulder, your strength, your shelter

Never showing you that this bleeding shoulder needs to heal

Hold you, so natural, so calm and so soothing

Breaking down barriers that were once carved in stone

Do I know who I am, how to get there, to become

When I look in your eyes, I know I am home

Pray that someday you will feel that love to

I long to be with you and I long for your touch

Until that one moment I will hold you so dear

Even if this young and naive heart of mine feels crushed.

Also read...

Aug 21