Apr 27

When I was collecting stories for my radio show a few weeks ago I came across this story of how Estelle came to meet Kanye West which eventually led to them forming a collaboration and creating the number one hit ‘American Boy’.

“Estelle has revealed that she first met her musical collaborator Kanye West at Roscoe’s House of Chicken ‘n’ Waffles.

The pair, who are currently number one in the UK charts with the single ‘American Boy’, bumped into each other at the Hollywood soul food eatery.

She told the Daily Telegraph: “I went to Roscoe’s Chicken and bumped into Kanye.

“I was like, ‘Lord, if you’re above, I need to meet Kanye, he needs to come outside.’ Ten seconds later he came out and I went ‘Thank you, Jesus!’”

(Taken from Digital Spy)

A powerful example of not only the power of asking but also the power of gratitude too. :-D

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Apr 21

Personal Development and the bigger picture

Whatever your perception of the world, there is an undeniable truth in that the change comes from within. Everyone will see the world in a different way, some people will choose to focus on the economic crisis, some will choose to focus on the the upheaval in Tibet,some will choose to focus on the political situation in Zimbabwe and some will focus on the rising fuel prices. Where does Personal Development fit into the the current climate?

It boils down to whether we choose to focus on the symptom or the cure. Personal Development is the cure whereas each individual problem is just the symptom of a greater underlying problem. Trying to tackle each issue one by one is kind of like masking the symptom with pain killers. It never gets to the root of the issue. The solution is understanding. A broader scale understanding that we are all one and have just this one home to share.

Do you see your family as just those around you that share a home with? Or do you see every single soul on this planet as not just an extended family but an immediate family? Try observing a stranger on the street as someone who is part of your immediate family. You will be amazed at the difference it makes to the way you feel about them. Suddenly they’re no longer a threat to you. As soon as you look at the physical differences of language or culture or skin colour or any difference, those differences can make you feel the need to arm yourself. Whereas if choose to look at the similarities instead of the differences a whole different world opens up to you.

Think of them as human just as you are. Think of them as someone who is just trying to find a purpose just as you are. Think of them as someone who is trying to make a lively hood just as you are. Think of them as someone who is creating opportunities just as you are. Think of them as someone who would like to enjoy life and experience some variety. Think of them as someone who believes they are significant just as you do yourself.

Can you feel the shift within you already?

This is where the path of Personal Development makes inroads to the relationships between all beings on this small planet. It begins with a small shift and so, if we can start with ourselves, those beliefs and attitudes spread and eventually will create mass change, especially if we educate our children this way.

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Jan 29

I was recently as this youth conference where young people from local schools and the community get together to discuss issues that affect them such as: gun crime, gangs, the environment and sexual health.

All these issues are very important and it’s wonderful to see the younger generation taking an active part in working towards global solutions.

I was there reporting for radio doing interviews and I asked this young lady if there were any issues in particular, that were brought to light, that she’d never that she’d never thought about before? One of the things that she mentioned was about how sex education in schools is only geared towards hetrosexual sex and we don’t think about how that would make gays and lesbians feel!

I was a little taken aback as it was something I had never ever thought about before and yet it was such a powerful point. It’s impossible to consider every angle on everything but it’s amazing how these young future leaders bring to light issues we may never otherwise give consideration too.

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Jan 8

Troy aka Mr Wendal…

About two months ago I was in the west end of London and I decided to visit one of my favorite shops; Waterstones book store on Piccadilly which is the largest book shop in Europe. When I was there and I decided to purchase four books; one was a book to help me with my stand-up comedy and the other three were all books by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

It was a cold night, I had my gloves, scarf and thick winter jacket all on to keep me nice and toasty. As I left the book shop, I was walking back towards my car and I came across a homeless person who was sitting on his bum with his legs outstretched before him. He had taken his shoes off also. I nearly walked past him but he called out to me and asked me for some spare change. I didn’t give him any money straight away but I sat down next to him and decided to have a conversation with this poor soul.

His name was Troy and he was out on the street because his relationship with his partner had broken down and things for him went from bad to worse. We continued talking for about 10 minutes after which I decided to give him money and then I left. If a homeless person asks me for money I always give them something. Many people have criticized me for that and they say things like: “what if he spends it on alcohol?” My response is simply that it’s not my money and it’s not my place to judge them and what they might spend it on. My only concern is doing what I choose to do and doing it with a grateful heart and giving it with love.

After I left him, something pulled me back towards him; I was already close to my car but something deep down inside me told me to go back to him and give him an additional gift. I realised that I had more than just money to give Troy; I had knowledge, a true priceless gift. So I went back and I sat back down next to Troy and asked him: “Do you enjoy reading?” He said he loved reading but naturally at this moment in time he didn’t have much to read. I reached down into my bag and pulled out one of the books that I had just bought; the one in particular I pulled out was called: “The Law of Attraction”. As soon as I pulled it out “THE SECRET!” he exclaimed! As it turned out, about two weeks before our meeting a friend of his took him to his flat and showed him the dvd “The Secret”. After seeing The Secret he wished for some more knowledge about the Law of Attraction and now it had come to him.

I was thrilled that he knew what it was and suddenly he seemed like he didn’t have a care in the world. He was over the moon and extremely grateful. I left again but I learned something incredible, I wasn’t the one that gave a gift to Troy; he gave a gift to me!

What was it that drew me back to him? Was it his intention or my choosing? Something to ponder over but in my mind the answer is simple, it was perfect amalgamation of the two. A perfect demonstration of the deeper workings of the Universe in which we live.

I didn’t have to go over and talk to him; but I chose to. I didn’t have to return to him; but I chose to listen to something that runs that little bit deeper in all of us. Take a bit of time out and listen to those inner callings. Those intuitions and feelings that pull on our heart strings from time to time to guide us through our chosen journeys!

The next day, I was back at the radio station and I decided to play a special song for Troy; Mr Wendal by Arrested Development. A song that I’ve always found to be deeply spiritual and meaningful. If you’ve never heard it, get a copy or take a look at the lyrics and you’ll know what I mean.

Next time you feel a calling, will you listen to it?

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When you walk past a beggar…

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Nov 1

How to tell a friend you love them…How to ease your heartbreak.

For many Love = Friendship. So being in love with a very close friend leads to the next logical step of forming an intimate relationship.

I would love to be able to address this article at everyone but I think given the nature of the topic I think it would be difficult to do so although that doesn’t mean that not everyone can learn something from it. This is probably one of the most challenging and long articles I’ve ever decided to write simply because of the nature of the topic and the undefined way in which situations like this can be handled.

So firstly guys, my question to you: Have you ever been in love with or fallen in love with a friend only for them to turn around and reject you? Their answers might range from, “I see you just as a friend” or “I don’t feel that way about you.”

For many young men events like this can be both heartbreaking and soul destroying. I have been in that situation many times and even recently was in that same situation. I’ve heard so many stories where one party loves the other but the feelings weren’t returned. The truth is that situations like that are common and the first challenge is whether or not to act on your feelings. That in itself is a big challenge! For most guys, at the best of times, the decision of whether or not to go ahead and speak to a girl about their feelings is tough enough as it is. Firstly, you’re friends with this woman and it’s something you might value deeply. With that in mind you become faced with difficult choice: 1) Tell her and it could go either way. She will either feel the same about your or not and in which case the decision to tell her may permanently harm the friendship. 2) Don’t tell her and never find out how she felt about you. The element of regret can leave a lasting sting.

As I said earlier I can’t really speak from the perspective of what it must be like on the flip side for the woman in both ways, i.e. being on the receiving end but also being in the same situation and being in love with a friend! I’ve been in that situation more than once and a number of people have said to me that I fall in love to easily, it’s probably true, but I have a very loving nature towards all my closest friends and I do get attached quite easily. But in response to that attraction is such a natural thing and should never be frowned upon. I’m fortunate to have many close female friends who are have amazingly loving and good natured personalities as well as being beautiful. So naturally if I feel that the girl and I have a great friendship and in addition to that I find her attractive it seems like only natural to me that the next step would be to be honest with her and find out how she feels too. I know, I know, I make it sound easy I know but it’s where the rocky road begins.

Before I go any further guys, I don’t have all the answers, my sole intention with this article it to make that challenge just that little bit easier to handle. There is no dichotomy of a right or wrong way to handle this. You do however have to make a choice while taking into the consideration the feelings of the person you wish to tell and be understanding towards them. I’ve seen some guys totally undermine the womans feelings because they allowed their own hurt to saturate them and become totally oblivious to the females needs and end up leaving them hurt, lost, and a feeling that they’ve been abandoned by a friend.

So lets begin…

1) First and foremost, it’s time for me to be a bit brutal! Guys, don’t be such babies! This woman who you’re in love with isn’t the only woman you’re ever gonna love and if she doesn’t love you back it truly isn’t the end of the world! I know I’ve started off harshly but you have to accept this fact if you’re to stand a chance in making this thing work. React aggressively or childishly to her or her answer and you will end up blowing it for good! So first and foremost, before you do anything, give yourself a pep talk, if you’re too distracted get a friend you can confide in, tell them the situation and get them to give you a pep talk! Keep on telling yourself that no matter how this ends up, the most important thing is her, be understanding and compassionate towards her!

2) Make sure you plan a time and place to tell her properley! A time when you’re both alone, absolutely no distractions, just you and her, somewhere quiet where you can talk in your normal voice and can have good eye contact! Avoid doing it in a restaurant, at a club or anything like that, do it if you’re having a quiet meal at home and or watching a movie. Turn off the movie, finish your food and begin. Make sure you have nothing in your teeth though! :lol: For heavens sake, don’t do this over email, phone or text messages! If you do any slight misunderstanding could screw things up for good! It’s vitally important that she sees your body language and that you see hers!

3) When you get to that stage when you’re ready to tell her, don’t blurt out what you want to say, it might be a good idea to reassure her how much she means to you; that you will always be there for her and that you value your friendship highly! Once you’ve reassured her and made her feel at ease, it’s time tell her! Be honest and straight forward. Don’t try and tell her in a way which is indirect, it doesn’t serve you and you may not end up getting a straight answer which might leave you more confused then when you initially began down this path!

I can’t tell you what to tell her, that’s got to come from your own heart and soul, all I can do is put you in a better mental state in preparation for this big event!

4) Once you told her reassure her again! This is vitally important! Explain to her how much she means to you and that nomatter what she says that you will be there for her. If she feels the same way, then you need not read further! :-D If however she does not feel the same way about you it’s time to offer her some time. At this point, make you sure you gather yourself, this is a time where you might waffle something you didn’t mean to. Take a moment! Ask her if she would prefer it if you were to give her some room for a set period of time, e.g. a couple of weeks. Listen to her, acknowledge what she says, and respect her wishes!

5) Don’t run away because you’re upset!! Let the evening come to a close naturally and when it’s your time to go make sure you leave with a smile, again reassuring her! Once you’ve left, the heartache will really kick in! That being the case it would be worth having your pep talk friend on standby! Get them to accompany you somewhere! Go for some drinks, make sure you have someone there you can talk too! Despite what any macho guys might be thinking right about now, nope, strip joints and lap dancers aren’t going to ease your pain! Feel free to go do it if you want but it really won’t help or change the way you feel!

6) As tough as it might be for you to be around her, stick with her! If it gets to the point where your health is suffering then be honest with her. Don’t blame her, but do tell her honestly that you’re finding it tough. She will more than likely be understanding and compassionate towards you. Maybe explain to her that you need a bit of time away again reassuring her how much her friendship means to you! Take your time out but keep in touch with her, let her know that you’re thinking about her and are not just wrapped up in your own feelings. Do whatever you need to do during that time, but keep yourself occupied, don’t close yourself off from people, it’s people who will help you get through this challenging time!

Trust me guys, I’ve been there before, many a times! It’s even been a case where me and a friend have been in love with the same woman, in which case I’ve always yielded and in fact, I will do whatever I can to make help and support them getting together. It’s not easy but it’s because their friendship and my love for them has and will always be of paramount importance to me! If I had the choice of my happiness over my friend then my friend would win everytime hands down!

If you don’t have someone to talk to, you have me! You can get in touch with me if you wish. Whatever happens don’t bottle it up and even though times like this can be scary and painful there are other people out there who’ve been through it too and can help you. I hope in some way I’ve been of help in giving you chance in telling the person you love how you feel, whilst at the same time, keeping a close friend!

I wish you success with your friend, your potential future lover, I sincerely hope it goes well! :-)

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Oct 1

My heart is sensitive and romantic and I believe that everyone in this world has that one special soul who they connect with. However recently, life has illuminated the reality of love, and essentially compartmentalised it into a ‘black and white’ order. I have been granted a brief look into the eyes of others around me, who see love as the manifestation of hormones, lust and desire. Where love has nothing to do with your heart or higher self’s purpose, but more of an indication of what other parts of the body are pulling you to do. The stark realisation of this fact aggrieves me; even though I have known it for years and am no stranger to its concept, I never the less find it a difficult and painful awareness to accept.

Have we as humans become so disconnected that even love has lost its mysterious potency? It has been handed over to our bodies and we are but slaves to its satisfaction.

The more I cling onto the thought that love is a beautiful, transformative, uplifting journey for your soul, the more I am forced to witness its corrupt expression.

However being a firm believer in the teachings of Abraham, I know that my thoughts are the powerful engines which shape my reality, therefore I understand that this moment in time serves me well to uphold my firm beliefs in love and what I REALLY want from the love of another.

Why should I bow down to an unnatural concept when my heart craves to experience the power of my creator through the love of another soul. Do I compromise my hearts calling for the sake of conforming to a lifestyle that is accepted by everyone else around me?

As I transmit my intention of love to others I am consistently made to feel guilty for asking for a love that is innocent and sweet, looked upon as though I have a warped, archaic perception of love. Have I always been the human dreaming of being the butterfly, who is now lost in the psychosis?

As you can see, my internal battle and quest to eliminate this loneliness brings pain, doubt and fear. However even though the world around me adopts such a view, I wish to live in my fantasy and hold on to my concept that this person who I fall in love with, will also have the view that love is a soul connection, and not just the result of chemicals and hormones surging around the body.

If this view is indeed a result of years of misconstrued understanding where the barrier between the dream world and real world has been breached, then I wish to allow this to grow within me. It gives me ‘hope’ and paints a picture of a world I ‘choose’ to live in, albeit a reverie.

So with this in mind, I allow the tears in my heart to dry and hold firm my views in the face of harsh truth and with god’s grace breathe in life and wait for the day when my fairy tale romance becomes my reality. I wish to be saturated in its magic, to bathe in its sweet aroma and to taste its intoxicating essence upon my lips!

Follow your dreams in the face of adversity – no matter what the cost!

Peace and Blessings – From a slightly broken heart, but i know i will heal! Kavi xxx

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Sep 10

Woooohooooo! :-D

The 100 day mark has arrived. For me this is a true milestone. When I first began this “100 days…” project it just started out as a little idea to keep me blogging regularly. Now I can see that it has the potential to go much further, who knows what else I can achieve with this idea. It’s just the beginning and I know it will go much further. Very shortly I will be begin a new “100 days…” project and it will have a slightly different theme. One thing is for sure, I’d like to make it more challenging for myself.

Throughout this wonderful journey, I’ve leanred many new and exciting things. Each day has brought with it a new adventure and a new understanding in how to live a more purposeful, spiritual life. Spirituality is everything that we do and if you can do it with a spiritual mindset, you will love every moment of life, no matter how challenging it maybe!

Always keep the relativity paradox in mind, you cannot know happiness without sorrow, you cannot know love without fear, you cannot know light without darkness. These things were created to so that we might know what it means to be loved and what it means to recieve it. We enjoy that feeling because we know it’s counterpart!

There are 10 things I want to share that will ehance the quality of your life, remember and use these 10 things and I promise that you will life will be more happy, enjoyable and fulfilled!!

1) Have fun with life! Don’t let your first response to people be about how stressed out or how depressed you are or about how busy you are. Always start you interactions on a positive note. If during your interaction you need to talk about your challenges then do so, then finish where you started, on a happy and light note, sharing what you’ve learned through that encounter, or just share a joke!

2) Challenges don’t disappear, they change form. Notice I say challenges and not problems. Problems are barriers, challenges are hurdles, hurdles can be leapt, it takes a leap of faith. Barries need to be broken down and take much more energy! It may appear to you that other people don’t face challenges, or that their challenges are not as challenging as the ones you face. That’s your own mind creating a story to hold you back from being where it is you want to be. Running away will not take away your challenges, changing jobs because you have a horrible boss won’t take your challenges away, they will change form. When challenges arise, face them head on!

3) Whatever your religious or spiritual beliefs, don’t hold so tightly to them so to you nothing else is true. Keep and open mind and listen to others when they share. Everyone’s point is valid and there is truth in every way of thinking as it all comes down to perception! There’s no need to challenge anyone else’s beliefs either, respect them, appreciate them, and share yours with spiritual pride. Views are not there to be converted, they’re there to be enjoyed and appreciated.

4) Our childrens education is not just dependent on the teachers. I consider every single child on this planet as my children and I make it my responsibility to educate them. Education doesn’t necessarily have to be of an academic nature, in fact, most often that’s not real education. Real education comes from what children see us do and then, in turn, emulate. Whether we like it or not, we have a responsibility to them as they will always follow our actions. They will adopt our attitudes and they will look to our actions to shed light where for them, there is none. Make it your responsibility to educate every child on this planet. The more we educate them, they more they will be prepared to deal with the challenges they will inevitably face.

5) Learn NLP! NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) has some pretty impressive, no nonsense, tools that you can use for improving your life. It will be one the best investments of your time and money that you can make. You don’t have to become an expert, even learning the basics from any “off the shelf book” and acquiring a basic understanding will improve the quality of your life and your relationships. It will enhance your skills no matter what profession you’re in, whether you’re a house husband, a lawyer, a high powered business woman, it will benefit you!

6) Even if your life is going amazingly well, get a Life Coach! I’m not being biased in this because I am one! :P In fact, when you’re life is going amazing is the best time to get one because they will be able work with you to enhance your performance! If your life isn’t going so great, get one and you’ll be amazed at the results. They don’t perform magic, they just know how to ellicit the best from people!

7) I’ve said it before many times and I’ll say it again! Follow the 5 a day rule! Make sure that you incorporate these 5 things into your day, every day! 1) Meditate, 2) Smile, 3) Laugh, 4) Give, 5) Appreciate! They don’t have to follow any particular order but if I were to say one was mandatory, it would number 5, to appreciate and have gratitude for everything in your life! If you can do that one consistently and regularly then the other 4 will pretty much come naturally!

8 ) If you’re not sure what to do with your life the sure fire way of getting out of that rut is to put yourself out there and try different things. Watching Eastenders, even at the best of times, isn’t going to improve the quality of your life. What will is being social, interactive and experimenting with various activities like a sport or doing some charity work! Activities like that will enhance your focus and give you some clearer purpose and direction. The rule of thumb is to do something that completely takes you away from what you would normally do. If you’re normally on a computer or games console, then get out there and try a new sport or go speed dating! Anything that challenges who you are is worth trying once!

9) So often these days the first thing a person will tell me about is how tired they are! I’m no doc but one of the main reasons why people get so tired is because we’re so used to cars and junk food and living a lazy lifestyle it’s no surprise that lethargy sets in. We’re no longer use to physical exertion! When you feel tired is the precise moment you should get up and do some physical activity, push your body beyond what it’s used to and soon you’ll start feeling less tired! Another reason it lack of “good quality” sleep. Even if you’re consuming small amounts of caffeine, your sleep will be affected. Cut out as much caffeine as possible and was your quality of sleep jump from 3/10 to a 8/10 and you’ll feel more fresh and rejuvenated. You’ll actually wake up feeling like you’ve had enough sleep and be ready for your day!

10) Last but not least, tip 10 is read my blog and make it part of your daily spiritual digest! :lol: Ok that was a joke! You are valuable and important, make sure you make time for yourself on a regular basis. Whether that be 20 minutes a day to have some quiet time or whether you take 1 whole day a month and dedicate it to yourself is up to you but make it a regular ritual! We dedicate so much time to everyone else and unless we take the time to look after ourselves and nuture our well being that any pleasures in life will be short lived. The more you make time for yourself and take a step out of your life and become a spectator with an attitude of gratitude the more you will feel naturally happy and the more you will enjoy life.

There we have it folks, my top 10 tips and learnings from the 100 days of wisdom! Thank you so much to all of you who have left me messages, comments, sent me emails of blessing and well wishes! I truly hope this has been something you’ve not only enjoyed but something that you’ve got use out of too! Stay tuned for the next 100 days series! :-D

With love,

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Jun 19

Do unto yourself as you do unto your friends.

We never find it easy to implement the ideas unto ourselves that we so beautifully and devoutly give to our friends and loved ones in need. The instant we see a friend or loved one who is in need of counsel we’re more than happy to dig deep and find a solution to their problem. More often than not, it’s not the solution that solves the problem, but the fact that someone was there to listen and invest time in them.

Likewise, when you find yourself walking a plank and with nowhere to turn, ask yourself this question: What advice would you give a friend if they were if they were in the boat? Suddenly you’ll find yourself digging deep, investing time in yourself the same way you would were it really a friend that needed your help.

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Jun 3

Well I’m finally back from Amsterdam and as promised I managed to post up my daily wisdom while I was away. I must apologise if there were small spelling or grammatical errors, in any of the posts, but I did each one within a few minutes as I only had a very limited amount of time to write them.

It was an interesting journey in Amsterdam, that is, to put very mildly. There was one experience that stood out for me from the whole trip and it’s a story I’m going to share here. This is very hard for me, as it’s a part of me that I’m not proud of that initiated the experience but out of it I did learn more about myself in that one night than I have done for a very long time!

—

She was stunning, had a beautiful aura and the moment she stepped onto the bar I knew that I had to have a lap dance from her. Her skin was softer than a baby. As she proceeded to straddle me I couldn’t help but begin to talk to her. She told me her name was Angelina and that she was a local resident in Amsterdam. I made a comment about how her skin was so soft and made a light note of it by asking her what her secret was? She laughed and asked how old I was. I told her that I was 30 to which she then asked me what my secret was to looking so young? :-D

We continued to speak during the course of the lap dance and to be honest, I’d almost forgotten that she was supposed to be giving me a dance because I really enjoyed the conversation that we were having. Later that evening my friends and I were talking and I noticed that Angelina was sitting at the bar by herself having a drink. I decided to go over and talk to her. We ended up talking for the better part of half an hour. She told me that she was a mother of two even though she was only 23 years old. When she told me that I was totally stunned as not only did she look very young too, but she was doing lap dancing as her primary source of income!

As the conversation went on we learned a great deal about one another. I did ask Angelina if she enjoyed being a lap dancer to which she replied that she did, however, she had plans to go study and train to be a make up artist. She was very confident about herself, what she wanted to do and the dreams she wanted to fulfil. We continued talking about various things and life in general. At the end of the conversation, we gave each other a big hug and I said to her: “You’re beautiful on the inside as well as the outside!” After that I wished her the best in fulfilling her dreams to be a make up artist and wished her luck for her marriage too!

Two days later my friends and I ended up being at the same bar again. After a while Angelina came onto the bar. Shortly after she noticed me, waved at me and gave me a big smile. She beckoned me over to have another lap dance from her. I reluctantly said yes but as she sat onto my lap it just didn’t feel right any more! It felt like I had asked a friend to strip naked and dance for me! I felt very uncomfortable but to express that when you’re in a bar surrounded by men jeering you on is not an easy thing to convey. When she finished her dance I gave her a huge hug and whispered in her ear: “I’m truly sorry, but I feel as if you’re a friend now and that just didn’t seem right to me!” She whispered back; “I know and I could tell, it’s because you’re different to every other guy I’ve met, it’s ok!”

I paid her the money after which I waited and hoped to see her walk by after she’d finished so that I could speak to her further. Unfortunately I had to leave as my other friends wanted to go which meant that it is unlikely that I will ever see her again!

Just after we left the bar one of my friends was very tired and just wanted to sleep. We didn’t have anywhere to stay that night so we decided that he and I would go to the airport and find a quiet corner where he could sleep. My other friends wanted to continue their night out and so we went our separate ways. After we got to the airport we found a good spot where my friend fell asleep. We had 6 hours to kill before our flight and even though I was tired I didn’t feel like sleeping. So I sat down and decided to meditate. The whole experience with Angelina came back to me and I spent the better part of four hours and just thinking about what had happened. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes but I was determined not to cry! It had a huge impact on me what had happened.

I realised that if getting to know someone can make me have a conscience about dancing with this girl then there should be no reason why I find it ok just because I do not personally know the woman, or should I say, the beautiful spirit in front of me. Just like every other man on the planet, I love the site of a naked woman, but that isn’t an excuse for me to satisfy my needs by paying a woman to dance for me. I spent much of that time crucifying myself for what had happened. For good reason too, however, I know that beating myself up inside was not going to change what had happened. Nothing could! It was then that I realised that it was part of the my journey of self discovery that things transpired the way that they did. It was no coincidence that I ended up being at the bar both the nights that Angelina was there, considering that she only danced 3 nights a week. It was what I chose to experience. If I didn’t have that experience with Angelina there would’ve been a chance that I would’ve done the same thing again in the future and continued doing it.

I have no idea if what had happened also had an effect on Angelina. I would love to be able to see her again and tell her the impact she had on me. She probably will never know, but she, in that moment, was my Angel, Angelina.

The question now is where do I go from here? I am always going to be invited to strip clubs by my friends, unless I decide to change my friends! :P So will I ever go again? Yes I will for sure because as far as I’m concerned it’s one place where I still have the opportunity to do some good. Will I ever pay for a lap dance again? No, that is something I will never do again but I have no regrets about what transpired, in fact, I’m grateful. I made my choices, some of which were not the best but I’ve forgiven myself because out of them, I choose the path to grow.

Even whilst writing this I feel like crying, I know it will come out of me at some stage. But I also feel like a new chapter has opened for me and many new doors will open from this experience.

Thank you my Angel-lina! :)

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May 24
This entry is part 22 of 32 in the series 100 Days of Wisdom

Teamwork demonstrated.

Today, I was doing voluntary work at a school. I was doing team building exercises with the students. Their task was to solve a puzzle by making a complete square out of the random shaped puzzle pieces that were given to them.

Out of the 24 groups or so that I worked with today, only 3 managed to solve the puzzle. I noticed something very interesting about the groups that did mange to complete it. The groups that did solve the puzzle, every member of the team participated in the task 100% and as a result, they managed to solve it! All the other groups, had one or two stragglers that created a drag coefficient on the rest of their team mates which meant they didn’t have the resources or the power of as many minds to solve the puzzle.

So, the question is do you straggle? Or do you give 100% to your team various teams in life?

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Dec 12

We live in a massive global society which is saturated with blame. Justification of the blame is always relative to where you stand but most of the time the blame is assigned to take the focus from the root causes of the events. Blame is a great way to remove the onus from an individual or group assignment and move it to another party.

We’ve all done it, we’ve all been there, we’ve all felt that some external circumstance has been the reason for us feeling a particular way or as the cause for society being a particular way. With so many problems out there it’s no wonder that people feel that sense of blame but the problem is that the time and spent on issuing blame could be much better spent on finding a solution or another way of getting around the problem. This is particularly prevalent in politics, when the govt implements a policy, or otherwise, which goes wrong and immediately the opposition seizes the opportunity to get in front of the camera to blame the government for it’s incompetence.

The greatest challenge we face when it comes to blame is who then takes ultimate responsibility? If no one does then longer term situations and circumstances will linger and eventually situations, feelings, tensions, will be left unresolved and the outcome will be more bitter than ever.

First and foremost, you and I are one and the same. If I blame you, I’m actually blaming myself! Whether you believe in this “Universal Quantum Relative Oneness” is truly beside the point. The point is, if I blame the bus driver for the bus being late, what purpose does it serve and how will it ultimately serve the outcome? Lets take a look step by step at the chain of events that is about to ensue:

1) Firstly, for whatever reason, the bus is late, It’s cold, pouring down with rain and I really need to get to the loo! :P
2) Because of that I get angry and frustrated and under my breath I start cursing the bus driver.
3) During my moments of cursing my blood pressure is slowly rising and my body’s immune system is weakening, even if only for a moment
4) Deep down I get angy, I ask God why is this happening to me? More damage to my immune system!
5) The bus finally arrives. When it arrives, I get on first and decide to have a go at the bus driver for being late. Meanwhile the 43 passengers behind me then also get angry and under their breath start blaming me for the them getting home late for the hot meal they have all ready and waiting for them at home.
6) The bus driver gets frustrated at my whining and starts driving like a maniac and that in turn annoys all the other passengers who are standing on the bus.
7) I finally get home…ignore my family so I can get to the loo! But someone is already in there and I get even more frustrated and angry and I remember who is to blame for all of this…the damn bus driver!
8) The bus driver gets home in a foul mood, doesn’t kiss his wife and then the wife makes the bus driver sleep on the couch and the bus driver blames me for ruining his day and for him having to sleep on the couch.
9) He’s grouchy at his kids and as a result they grow up to be moody adults who blame their parents for everything bad that happens to them!

I think you see where I’m going with this. :D

O.K., this maybe a slight exaggeration but in real life we rarely get to see the ripples of our actions and so it’s worth taking a step back to think about what those actions reap. In the case of blame, blame leads to anger and frustration, which in turn leads to bitterness, which is then passed onto others around us, which is then passed around some more, which then leads to health problems, which then leads to all sorts of other things as the example shows! Where does ripple end? I know that eventually it runs out of steam but it’s only a matter of time before another ripple begins and if another ripple begins so will another and another and another.

So if that’s the effects of blame what’s the alternative?

Just as those ripples begin with a thought and an action, in the same way, any situation, no matter what it maybe you can choose which ripple you want to disperse. Now imagine me at the same bus stand, in exactly the same situation…with the rain pouring down on my face, cold, and really needing to go to the loo…but this time, I decide to take a stance of forgiveness and patience, lets see the change in the scenario!

1) I decide to let all the other passengers on the bus before me…and I make sure they know that I’ve given way for them…not to satisfy my ego, but so that they are aware that someone has done something nice for them.
2) When I get onto the bus I smile at the bus driver and say thank you and maybe make a joke about the weather to cheer him up too. Now at this point I could be totally pissed off with the bus arriving late and so fourth…but we’ve already seen what will happen if I act on that blame and anger. So this time, I put that blame and anger aside and try and be as chilled out about the whole thing as I can.
3) I get home and I finally get to go to the loo and feel that sense of relief!! :lol: :lol:
4) Because I didn’t let the frustration get to me, I can then settle down and have a nice evening.
5) The other passengers also didn’t get frustrated at me because I didn’t have a go at the bus driver, they feel more at ease on the bus
6) Because the bus driver and I exchanged a few light hearted words that make us both smile, he then goes home and when he gets there he kisses his wife
7) He gets to sleep in his own bed! :P 8) His kids grow up as level headed respectable adults!

I’ll spare you my babbling but I’m sure you get the picture! ;) If we truly want to take the path of blame..see how far it can go?

You can see straight away the anger through blame is futile. I achieves nothing more than disrupting not only my peaceful state but the state of others.

On a planetary scale, we can see around us immediate that the world right now is a pond full of blame ripples, all we need to do is turn those blame ripples into ripples of enjoyment, through seeing the grander picture of what our actions do. A few easy minutes of introspection can give you all the tools you need to find that place where you can feel more relaxed. And through that state of feeling more relaxed you’ll be in a better position of not looking for the person to blame in all situations, but rather looking for a solution, finding a way through the tough times without letting your blood pressure go through the roof! :P

Don’t make that poor bus driver sleep on the couch! ;)

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Nov 8

Thoughts are running through our heads constantly on a daily basis. We never stop thinking and we never will stop thinking! We tend to focus our thoughts in two very general areas: We either focus on something internal to us, about our lives or things happening to us, or we tend to focus on whats going on in the world and with other people who surround our lives. Bringing balance to our thinking is essential for our own well being and feeling a sense of peace.

Lets look at the two more closely

Externalization (Exos) - People who externalize their thoughts more are always thinking about outer things rather then focusing on themselves. They will tend to do more for others and put their life on the back burner. They will feel for others and others suffering much more than their own. The problem is, for those who over externalize, they forget to take care of their own needs and often end up in a position where they are not happy because they spend all there time focusing on others and neglecting the important areas of their lives that need lots of attention and TLC. They also procrastinate more as they tend to get easily distracted when something interesting catches their eye.

They will hold doors open for others.

Internalization (Intos) - People who internalize more are always focused on their own needs and neglect those around them. When they get a problem and they have someone around them who will listen they will chew that persons ears off with their problems. There problems will be the entire world to them and when something goes wrong, their world literally stops. They easily forget that other people will be going through issues similar to them and they will concentrate solely on what is happening to them. Because they are highly self focussed they will also tend to be quite successful in whatever persuits they undertake.

They do not hold doors open for others.

As a partnership, the Intos and the Exos combined make good couples as they tend to balance each other out. My former partner, she was more Into, and I was more Exo and that worked well for us as we found that we balanced each others perceptions and this is why we had such a great relationship and why we still have an amazing friendship.

Neither is better or worse than the other but when it comes to propelling yourself to future success you need to attain a good balance of the two. If you’re too externally focused or over internally focused you tip the scales and put yourself out of balance. In order to bring back that balance you have to even out what you focus on. Here’s how you can do this.

Firstly, you need to ascertain which of the two sums up who you are? Ask someone close to you who you know will not intentionally hurt you with the answer. Find out who you are and accept it with grace and dignity. When you establish that, below are the shift in perceptions that you need in order to balance your scales.

Internal Perceptions for those who are more Exos - We still need a level of external focus. External focus is good and gives us beauty, contrast, and variety. When looking upon the outside world. Remember first and foremost that all of it is a manifestation of oneself. You created the sky, the oceans, the buildings, the seven wonders etc. You are the creator of it all. Evey part of your being is interconnected with what you perceive to be “out there”. When dealing with people who you perceive to be external from you, remember that you are they and they are you. You are intimately connected to these individuals at all times. When focusing on someone and helping that soul, remember that you are also and always helping yourself too. Helping yourself is inescapable. In reality we live for ourselves only. You are solely responsible for your decisions and outcomes. You cannot be held responsible for others.

External Perceptions for those who are more Intos - Whatever problems you are now having, become more aware that those issues do not solely affect you. The fastest way to overcome something you maybe going through is to help someone overcome similar that they may be going through. Give them love, give them compassion and know that by helping them you are ultimately helping yourself too. By helping others we facilitate our future success because the more you give the more you get back. Take a look at the outside world once in a while. Become more aware of what is happening in the world There is more to the world than the one that revolves just around you. The world does not end when something bad happens to you. When you have a problem step outside of yourself, be the outside oberserver and observe your usual reaction…what does it tell you?

Which one are you and can you relate to one of those two persona’s? :)

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Sep 20

A little poem i wrote, written while on my travels!

I take one journey, hop onto the next

Never knowing what destination awaits me

Stir of anxiousness inside my belly, excitement, fear, worry

Drowning my senses

Echo’s whisper inside my mind, swaying me from side to side

Never brings me peace, but keeps my sleep restless

Keeping me small as I run out of time

Flowing so passionate for love to give you

Never being selfish to the feelings I feel

Being your shoulder, your strength, your shelter

Never showing you that this bleeding shoulder needs to heal

Hold you, so natural, so calm and so soothing

Breaking down barriers that were once carved in stone

Do I know who I am, how to get there, to become

When I look in your eyes, I know I am home

Pray that someday you will feel that love to

I long to be with you and I long for your touch

Until that one moment I will hold you so dear

Even if this young and naive heart of mine feels crushed.

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Aug 7

RelationshipsBuilding relationships is something that we will do throughout our lives in just about every area possible. No matter where you go, what you do, you will be surrounded by people. (unless you decide to become a hermitt but even then you’ll still have a relationship with your surroundings.) :p

Regardless of whether you work, are self employed, unemployed, a family wo/man etc. you’ll constantly be in a position of being around people and because of that you will want to build strong and lasting relationships that benefit both you while keeping confrontations to an absolute minimum. These 5 tips are generic and can be applied in all situations no matter what they may be. They include spouses, kids, colleagues, clients, or in any other form that you can think of.

1) Clarity: Be absolutely clear about what you want from that you relationship and discuss that with the other person. Clarity brings with it direction and purpose. Without that you’ll be lost and won’t know how to use that relationship to bring equal benefit to both of you. Clarity is power and for any duration there is not you will notice distinct confusion and tension. If you establish the clarity early on both parties will know exactly where to stand and find it hundreds of times easier to bring up issues instantly as they arise.

At anytime you find difficultly establishing clarity and then get to the source reason. Is it just your communication? If so, find some common ground, something that you both appreciate and use that as a basis for future examples and to build your clarity. There will always be something, otherwise you would not both be in the same situation! :)

2) Honesty: Don’t lie just to please another person and on the same token don’t just disagree for the sake of disagreeing. The hurt that comes from it in the long run far outweighs any benefit. If you agree with someone for the sake of agreeing, you not only undermine yourself and your confidence but you may end up causing tension if a later date you decide to disagree with any previous agreement. Be as honest as you can without being confrontational.

Say how you feel and learn to speak your mind. Honesty is not just about telling the truth but about being open about you feelings. If you don’t like an idea, don’t just say you don’t like it…be a bit more constructive and imaginitive in the way you offer yours without dismissing or undermining the other person.

3) Respect: Respect is pretty self explanatory but I’ll my two cents…people often have a habit of seeing any situation from only their perspective. Open your eyes as much as is humanly possible to see the situation from the other persons view point. Learn to open your mind to new possibilities and expand your horizons to encompass the other persons view. Truly get into their mindset to understand their viewpoint.

There is nothing worse than narrow mindedness and the mindset that; “my way or the high way!” Don’t allow yourself to get into that frame of thinking, it will limit your life for all time and you’ll miss out on some of the truly magnificent and diverse bits of life. Keep it open and keep it flexible.

4) Gratitude and Courtesy: There are many ways of looking at this one but simple gratitude and courtesy in any relationship will go miles and miles and miles, basically a long way! In my native toungue of Gujerati, the languange construct is completely different to that of english…there are no litteral words that equate to “thank you” or “please” however the tones makes an enormous amount of difference. So as well as showing gratitude and being courteous to the other person in words, keep a check on your tone and body language…any falsness will gleam through kinda like wearing a pink jump suit in a forest while trying to remain unseen…quite frankly, it just doesn’t work! :p

5) Gesture: There is always time to show someone as surprise gesture. Whatever the context or relationship, a friendly gesture once in a while will again go miles and miles in developing and maintaining that relationship. If you work with a team of people…treat everyone to some Krispy Kreme’s one day…that will lighten up everyones day. If it’s a partner, treat them to a weekend away! If it’s your kids, take a day off work and spend the day with them doing something fun that they’ve never done before! Whatever it maybe I guarantee that this one action above all will give all your relationships a massive boost and help strengthen them for the future.

Above all I will say that there is a golden rule to apply to all your relationships and that is quite simply: That all relationships will be as productive and successful as you choose to make them. So value them all and enjoy them for the possibly short of long time that they may be part of your existence….as either way, that truly isn’t that long! ;)

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Jul 24

I remember back in my college days being a very spiritual, lonely, and yet and out going person with lots of friends. At the time, I was also part of a Spiritual University called the Brahma Kumaris and I was a dedicated follower of their path. I used to awake everyday at 4am, meditate and then go to the daily morning class. I followed their principles, such as vegetarianism, no smoking or drinking alcohol throughout my entire college life. It wasn’t easy not drinking especially when everyone else around you was just discovering alcohol and constantly talking about the joys of being drunk! :p

One of the things I remember clearly when talking to my friends about my spiritual path was that they always used to say to me “chill out dude, you could die tomorrow so you may aswell live each moment like its your last!” So their definition of living life as if every moment was their last was to eat as much crap, drink as much alcohol, and do plenty of weed and that would make you happy give you a fulfilled life!

While I don’t necessarily disgree with the philosophy, I’m fairly sure that living that kind of lifestyle was more like “Try and make every moment your last” and NOT “live every moment as your last!” It was a very clear demonstration of how misguided the youngsters were back when I was a college student. I totally agree that any young person should have those sorts of experiences of life I disagree with it being absused almost to the point of almost causing self harm.

Having fun and enjoying life doesn’t necessarily mean being innebriated to the point of almost losing consciousness and being taken to the emergency room! Whereas my friends took it to one extreme, I was on the opposite end of the scale and was just as guilty of taking something to the extreme without contemplating the consequences for my life in the future. I missed out on such an enjoyable fulfilling and life changing time because I was a misguided youth.

Finding that balance is not an easy thing to do but going to any extreme, whichever end of the scale that it might be on, is dangerous and irresponsible! It goes to show that we, as the models for the younger generation have an immense responsibility to encourage them to live life to the full without going to extremes. If we deny them something, chances are they will rebel. If we impose upon them beliefs, chances are they will take them literally. Instead, offer them choices and give them guidance. Remember, they still need to live and get experience so let them live and be there for them as a guide, a shoulder, a counsellor, and mentor and watch their life unfold with positive anticipation as they take your guidance and love and become balanced and strong individuals.

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May 25


TheSecretDVD.net

For the the last few weeks I’ve been seeing people on blogs all over the place like Erin Pavlina, Mystic Saint, Lyman’s Blog etc talking about this film called: The Secret.

All you need is an open mind, I don’t think anyone could really explain through words what the secret is about, all you can do it watch it and take from it what your own heart needs. It is an amazing thing, it only costs $5 for a single viewing online (less than the cost of a movie from blockbuster) or $30 for the DVD. I watched it online yesterday and then I immediately ordered the DVD.

It costs very little but I submit to you that it is worth every penny! :)


Are you looking to buy dvd players? The Internet often offers very competitive deals on things such as assortment of electronics, computers, and entertainment centers  in addition to a huge number of other items.

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May 1