Apr 28

What I think may work as a strategy for anything and what does actually work is two very different things. So even if you think something might not work it may be worth giving it a try. Don’t be afraid to try different different approaches and strategies because If you never try you will never know!

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Apr 27

When I was collecting stories for my radio show a few weeks ago I came across this story of how Estelle came to meet Kanye West which eventually led to them forming a collaboration and creating the number one hit ‘American Boy’.

“Estelle has revealed that she first met her musical collaborator Kanye West at Roscoe’s House of Chicken ‘n’ Waffles.

The pair, who are currently number one in the UK charts with the single ‘American Boy’, bumped into each other at the Hollywood soul food eatery.

She told the Daily Telegraph: “I went to Roscoe’s Chicken and bumped into Kanye.

“I was like, ‘Lord, if you’re above, I need to meet Kanye, he needs to come outside.’ Ten seconds later he came out and I went ‘Thank you, Jesus!’”

(Taken from Digital Spy)

A powerful example of not only the power of asking but also the power of gratitude too. :-D

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Apr 25

Have you asked yourself why you arrived here today to read this blog post?

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Apr 24

We are ‘individual’ and also ‘indivisible’ both at the same time.

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Apr 22

I’m truly looking forward to the day that car manufacturers start asking the question: “How can we build cars that help or improve the environment rather than destroy it?”

We shouldn’t just wait for the oil to run out and then out of desperation make changes. Lets do it now; there is no time like the present!

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Apr 21

Personal Development and the bigger picture

Whatever your perception of the world, there is an undeniable truth in that the change comes from within. Everyone will see the world in a different way, some people will choose to focus on the economic crisis, some will choose to focus on the the upheaval in Tibet,some will choose to focus on the political situation in Zimbabwe and some will focus on the rising fuel prices. Where does Personal Development fit into the the current climate?

It boils down to whether we choose to focus on the symptom or the cure. Personal Development is the cure whereas each individual problem is just the symptom of a greater underlying problem. Trying to tackle each issue one by one is kind of like masking the symptom with pain killers. It never gets to the root of the issue. The solution is understanding. A broader scale understanding that we are all one and have just this one home to share.

Do you see your family as just those around you that share a home with? Or do you see every single soul on this planet as not just an extended family but an immediate family? Try observing a stranger on the street as someone who is part of your immediate family. You will be amazed at the difference it makes to the way you feel about them. Suddenly they’re no longer a threat to you. As soon as you look at the physical differences of language or culture or skin colour or any difference, those differences can make you feel the need to arm yourself. Whereas if choose to look at the similarities instead of the differences a whole different world opens up to you.

Think of them as human just as you are. Think of them as someone who is just trying to find a purpose just as you are. Think of them as someone who is trying to make a lively hood just as you are. Think of them as someone who is creating opportunities just as you are. Think of them as someone who would like to enjoy life and experience some variety. Think of them as someone who believes they are significant just as you do yourself.

Can you feel the shift within you already?

This is where the path of Personal Development makes inroads to the relationships between all beings on this small planet. It begins with a small shift and so, if we can start with ourselves, those beliefs and attitudes spread and eventually will create mass change, especially if we educate our children this way.

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Apr 15

Kitaro Nishida said: “If my heart can become pure and simple like that of a child, I think that there can probably be no greater happiness than this.”

While I was reading this quote in my little Zen companion book on my desk at work, it made me realise the simple truth that as children, we become so eager to become adults and when we become adults we become eager to become like children. That comes from thinking that being in one state or another will bring with it happiness whereas the truth is that the most amount you can have is by being in the moment; enjoying and making the most of now!

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Apr 12

Whatever task you’re engaged in right now…do it like there’s no tomorrow!

Remember this powerful thought and use it when you need it as it has got me through some challenging times of late.

Related Posts:
The True Value of Time
100 Days of Wisdom…Day 29

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Apr 10
    Y.E.P. (Youth Empowerment Project)

I’ve been working on an idea and a concept and it’s manifesting in many forms in the way of books, dvd’s, radio projects and seminars for children and young adults. I’ll be talking more about this in the upcoming months but for now I just wanted to share a simple concept with you.

Firstly, I often hear it talked about and this is whether the parents or the educators are to blame for the behaviour of children? My view is simply this: It doesn’t matter! Asking that question solves or achieves nothing! A simpler approach and a more productive one is for all of us to take responsibility to some degree. When we do and we take genuine interest in the the up-bringing of youth, you’d be amazed at the difference it makes! Shoving the blame to and fro takes our time and attention away from dealing with the challenge.

Secondly there is on a very simple explanation of why young adults get involved in crime, vandalism, alcohol, drugs, bullying etc etc. It’s quite simply because they it’s the only way they know how to feel powerful or, putting it another way, empowered! That’s the only reason ever! It gives them a sense of personal power and that is because quite simply they haven’t been shown any other way to do so! Once you show them how to feel empowered in a different way suddenly they won’t feel the need to do those other things to feel powerful, they’ll automatically lose interest and start taking an interest in other good things that make them feel empowered.

A very simple concept with a very powerful message and impact.

I’ve be talking about this more over the coming months.

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Apr 8

Why wait until new years, start planning your new years resolutions now! :lol: No, no, seriously I’m not joking! Why wait till new year? Start now thinking about what you want to achieve next year…maybe even as far as 5 years into the future! Setting goals and aspirations never hurts so anytime you’ve got a few minutes free, grab some paper and start scribbling!

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Apr 1

Every day I’m grateful to the people who piss me off because they’re the ones who help me with my personal development the most! :-D

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Mar 20

Enjoying the process

Now it may seem contrary to my previous article in the series from day 13 but there is also a strong reason to learn to enjoy the process. You can’t always be in this frame of mind though. It’s simply taking a few short moments to remember who you really are and what your existence is truly all about.

Having a strong focus on your desired result is awesome for long term achievement but very often what happens is people get to that point and then ask: “Is this all there is?” So what you must remember is that you won’t get satisfaction from the result. The satisfaction must come now through the process; in actual fact, the result is secondary. It’s fulfillment from the experience and the joy of doing now that will give you ultimate satisfaction. The result is the driving force to keep you going in the now. The fulfillment won’t come at the end though! That must also come now through an understanding that the process is very special time for you.

It’s a time for you to appreciate and acknowledge this wonderful gift that you have. It’s a time for you to understand that you truly have an amazing gift to be here, in the now, in this particular situation and are able to plough your energy into the things that you love doing the most. After doing this you will find that you energy levels will rise and surge. Now doubt you’ve experienced times of lethargy and low emotions? Well this is the way to increase your energy and lift your emotions. It’s a way of stilling the mind for just a few brief moments and just enough for you to feel recharged.

Related Posts: Minute Meditations Part 2

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Mar 18

Fulfillment is relative to the balance you have in giving energy and attention to yourself, as well as to others, or a purpose greater than yourself. If you spend too much time focused on just yourself you’ll get depressed, feel down and your consciousness will be directed towards questions like: “What’s in it for me?” Or “What do I get out this?”

If you’re too focused on others you’ll find that you’ll eventually burn yourself out and so you need a good balance of the two.

Balance doesn’t necessarily come in for the from of giving equal time to either one, you’ll know when you reach a balance because you’ll feel energised, worthfull, light, generous and even, dare I say, happy?! :lol:

We are all different so find a balance that’s good for you, contribute to others whilst remembering to give something back to yourself too.

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Mar 15

Be afraid!

To put yourself into a position of fear is actually a good thing. Doing so on a regular basis is even better. Putting yourself in stressful situations is not and there is a very distinct difference!

The fear factor is wonderful! It’s the mechanism that tells us that we’re experiencing something new and something that is challenging us on every level. I had extreme fear the first time I went up to do the ‘Firewalk’ and I can in all honesty that it wasn’t the kind you associate with stress. It was a very different kind of feeling, I was very excited but scared at the same time.

That kind of fear is good for us; it’s when you do the thing that was giving you fear in the first place that you experience growth!

Stress based fear is very different and more often that not comes from being unprepared. You cannot be prepared for everything but you can prepare for most things that you know are coming your way and hence eliminate the majority, if not all, the forthcoming stress. Being prepared is probably the main key to the this and planning ahead also plays a big role.

You can also change your mindset and covert the stress into the healthy kind of fear by simply remembering that it is a challenge that is going to make you grow. It can be for anything too; like buying your first house or going for a job interview.

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Mar 14

It was great to see that John Assaraf was interviewed in yesterday’s Metro newspaper. I remember not long ago it was as if ‘The Secret’ was still a secret but of course now everyone knows about it!

I have observed though that many people will read or watch ‘The Secret’ then try to apply it’s teachings and become a master at the first attempt! Then after experiencing initial failure they will immediately brush it aside as some sort of ’self help’ fad.

Would you try the pole vault for the first time and expect to be able to break the world record? I’ve been playing badminton for over 8 years and I still consider myself a beginner in the grand scheme of things! I cannot become a champion within just a few short weeks or months; it takes time! I recently decided to take up salsa dancing; once again, I don’t expect to be a contestant on strictly come dancing any time soon! (Well not right this minute anyway!) :lol: It will take years of training to get to that level. Would you expect to enter the kitchen and be able to prepare gourmet meals like Gordon Ramsey without ever putting a pot on the cooker? I think not!

The teachings of ‘The Secret’ are no exception…if you want to be able to apply them in your life and expect them to work you’re going to have to work at it, just like anything else you decide to undertake!

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Feb 20

There is no such thing as a mundane task, only a mundane mindset.

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Feb 14

Results Vs Process Driven.

The title of this topic might be a tad bit misleading so straight away let me clarify what I mean by results Vs proccess driven. When I refer to results I’m referring to people who do focus on the end result only and their mind stays focussed on solely that throughout the entire task. The one who is process driven is focussed solely on exactly that, the proccess, which ultimately meanders away from the result and it is they who end up being the ones who experience lethargy and entropy. It’s not always the case but from what I understand of the way the mind works more often than not it is.

When you focus on the result or outcome, your vision and purpose remain clear. You keep, in the forefront of your mind, the reason why you undertook the task at hand. When you remember the purpose or the “why” and you remain focussed on that, you eliminate any trace of burden, of worrying about the specific tasks that you need to do to attain the result you desire. You’re fully aware and still get on with them, but you no longer get caught up in, shall we say, the menial stuff.

When you focus on the process, more often than not, you lose your drive because you can often forget why you’re doing the task your doing and thats when you start to feel the resistance and the drag co-efficient of your lack of purpose. It’s happened to me and I’ve seen it happen to many people. We create a grand idea, dream or vision and then during the process the dream is forgotten about and then suddenly, unconsciously it’s all become about the process and you’ve forgotten the the very thing that was driving you in the first place.

Get back to the result. Make it grand and lucid. Write it out in big bold letters on a huge sheet of A3 and put it somewhere you see it every single day! Remind yourself of it every single day! Keep a small notepad with you wherever you go and regularly write down and remind yourself of the vision and the purpose that initially got you jump started and into gear.

Ready? Tomorrow I’ll talk about how to enjoy the process! ;-)

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Feb 13

Here’s a small idea for you especially if this is something that you have never done before.

Find a young person and offer to take them under your wing. Offer to become a mentor to them. There are plenty of organisations out there that run such schemes. All you have to do is step forward and offer your time.

It easy to put yourself forward and it only takes a hour or two of your time every week. I’ve seen first hand and been someone who’s made a difference, in a young persons life, just by taking an interest and offering them not only the time, but also just being someone that listens to them. You don’t have to offer experience, advice or guidance. Just being there is enough and if you feel confident enough, then you can offer more in the ways of wisdom and leadership.

I’ve always said and I continue to maintain that this world would be an extremely different and a much better place if we just offered our time to the younger generation. You may think that they’re not ready to listen but you’ll be surprised by how much you can enhance the quality of a teenagers life by working with them on a one to one basis.

I’ve also always said that every single child on this planet is my child and I have a responsibility to them. I can’t necessarily reach all of them but even if I reach a few, a handfull, it will make all the difference to them in the world and to the world.

Mentoring is a gift. It gives the person you’re mentoring a sense of belonging, of being respected and acknowledged. They want to be listened to and they appreciate the time that is given to them. Not only does it give them something but the amount you get back is immeasurable. You’ll also feel a deep sense of personal empowerment which you will then be able to carry to over to other areas of your life. You’ll need to make a plan though. When you meet your mentee for the first couple of times find out where is it exactly that they need personal expansion. Use lots of open questions that being with: How, what, who, where or when to get them to talk and fully express themselves.

I was recently interviewing a young girl, she was only 15 and I was doing a mock interview with her as she was getting ready to go off and search for work experience. I didn’t know this beforehand but apparently this young lady had a phobia of school and yet she managed to draw the power from somewhere to turn up for that particular day. I interviewed her as if I was interviewing her for a real job. She did extremely well and at the end I gave her lots of encouragement but balanced with some useful constructive feedback. I only found out afterwards but apparently what I said to her really made an impact and she left the room beaming and went to her teachers elated as she felt like she’d done so well! All I did was spend five minutes at the end offering encouragment and advice and who knows how much of a difference those few short moments have made in that young girls life.

So what are you waiting for? Go now and find out if your local council runs an EBP (Education Business Partnership) or some other kind of mentoring scheme where you can give something back to others.

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Feb 11

Time for yourself?

In this day and age we all become innundated with task lists; things to do; people to see; places to go; goals to achieve; deadlines to meet; people to please; etc etc! The list just goes on and on! Then people get to a point where they’re so overwhelmed that they feel like they need some time for themselves.

Time for yourself is great, but what do you do with that time for yourself? What’s your objective of getting time for yourself? What do hope time for yourself will achieve and how do you intend to get to that point?

Personally, I hear people say that they need time for themselves for all sorts of reasons e.g: to recover; to re-energise; to get away from it all; to have “me time; time for reflection; time for planning; time alone; time to re-evaluate life and a whole host of other reasons too.

So what do these people do with the time alone? Well most of them end up watching T.V. and at the end of their marathon T.V. session they feel worse off then when they began because they realise they have yet to do anything that they wanted to do, or think about, with that time alone.

There’s nothing wrong with a bit of T.V. on occasion. I like watching my favorite shows from time to time or catching my fav flicks on the tube, but as a rule of thumb, if it’s time alone to recover, re-energise, or any of the other reasons I mentioned above, T.V. is the least constructive way to make use of that time.

Firstly ask yourself: How am I feeling now and how would I like to be feeling after this time alone? What is it that you want to get from spending time alone? What was it that caused you to feel like you needed time alone? Was it because you felt like you were giving to much to others and not yourself?

There could be a whole host of reasons and whatever the reason behind your feeling a need to be or have time alone there is simple suggestion you can do to enhance the results of what you get from that time alone.

However you choose to spend that time alone what you must firstly do is consciously acknowledge that this time is for you. Bring it to the forefront of you mind and set a clear intention or choice about what you would like get from this time alone. For many people the time alone passes and by the time they realised that they’ve had some time alone it has already passed and they have to get back to whatever it was they were doing before. It’s essential to get this vividly emphasise this to yourself and know the purpose of this important time for you.

When you’ve got it clear in your own mind what the purpose is you can then decide what it is you want to do with this time alone. You could do any of the following starting with the least productive all the way to the most essential for your well-being:

1) Watch T.V.
2) Listen to Music
3) Go to the gym
4) Go running
5) Read
6) Write
7) Visualise
8) Meditate

Those are but a few suggestions but the biggest key here is to consciously acknowledge what the purpose of that time is. When you do that, it will make a huge difference and the time you have alone will then begin to shift the way you feel and you’ll start to actually feel like you’ve had some time alone and that you do feel more energised and more prepared to tackle the things that you need to do.

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Jan 29

I was recently as this youth conference where young people from local schools and the community get together to discuss issues that affect them such as: gun crime, gangs, the environment and sexual health.

All these issues are very important and it’s wonderful to see the younger generation taking an active part in working towards global solutions.

I was there reporting for radio doing interviews and I asked this young lady if there were any issues in particular, that were brought to light, that she’d never that she’d never thought about before? One of the things that she mentioned was about how sex education in schools is only geared towards hetrosexual sex and we don’t think about how that would make gays and lesbians feel!

I was a little taken aback as it was something I had never ever thought about before and yet it was such a powerful point. It’s impossible to consider every angle on everything but it’s amazing how these young future leaders bring to light issues we may never otherwise give consideration too.

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