I’ve been incredibly busy recently writing new comedy material and rehearsing. I’ve got a gig tomorrow and I’m really excited to try out the new stuff. I know some jokes will work and others might not but the buzz of being on stage and entertaining people will always be there for me!

I don’t like not blogging for long periods of time. During those times of not blogging I come up with several ideas and unless I do the blog post within a day or two I tend to lose the excitement of that topic. I’m not worried though. I move on quickly but I do feel it’s important to act quickly on moments of inspiration before they dissipate.

Have you ever needed to send an email or correspondence to someone of importance and not been sure what to say or how to say it? Have you ever felt that burning in the pit of your stomach from all the nerves before you clicked the send button?

A good friend of mine recently inspired me to take action on something that I could’ve done a long time ago. That didn’t matter though, what mattered was me taking action now and not worrying about the result. In the past I let those nerves and fear hold me back from taking action. DUH! The only person I’m letting down is myself.

Yes I’m taking a risk and things might not go the way I want them to go but I will never until I make an attempt! How do you even know if you’re good or bad at something until you try? If you just let the fear of it stop you, you may never discover your true talents! I say always give something a go, (don’t take that one out of context) and at best you’ve discovered a new talent; at worst you can scratch something off you list you never want to do ever again!

So there I was talking to this friend and I took on board what she said. I wrote an email and sent it off today. I truly don’t know what the outcome will be but at least I can say to myself that I did make and effort to make something happen and if it doesn’t I’ll move on quickly and do something else.

When I was about to click send I felt those nerves. I decided to stop just before I pressed the button. I sat there and I thought ‘no, I’m not going to send the email while I’m in that state.’ I took a minute and composed myself. I reminded myself not to pin my hopes on this one email. I got myself into the a confident, worthy state. I let go of all hopes and expectations and I sent the email in a relaxed, but excited vibe and believing that I can make a difference.

Will it make a difference sending the email while in that state? Who knows?! I however believe it does!

To recap, before you click send:

1. If you’re feeling nervous, stop and take a minute!

2. Get into a confident state. Know you’re worthy!

3. Let go of any hopes and expectations.

4. Think: No matter the outcome, I will move on quickly.

5. Click send!

P.S. Do a spell check too!

Inspiration waits for no wo/man. It comes when you least expect it!

How often have you been sitting there idling and ‘BAAAM’ an idea hits you like a bolt of lightening! You even thought to yourself “I am a genius!” The idea was awesome; but wait, you forgot to make a note of it! Later that day or week you try and recall that idea but you can’t! Have you been ever been in that position? Total bummer! I know I have; many times!

Even in these times where we have almost every bit of technology we could want at our fingertips I still sometimes forget to utilise them all. The other challenge is that you cannot control when you might get those electrifying ideas. Often it will be at times when I don’t have access to any kind of recording instrument. It may be on the loo, in the shower, or while driving. When that happens there’s probably less I can do but still ways to capture those glorious ideas.

There are 3 very easy ways to capture those flashes and get them down somewhere you can refer to them later rather then lose them altogether!

1. The ‘High-Tech’ Way – Use any piece of technology at your disposal. These days text messages are dirt cheap or even free so you can easily send yourself a message without it costing anything. A simple few words as a reminder is enough for you to know what you were babbling on about. If it costs you, you can always just do a draft message and save it to view later. Phones are so packed with features yours may even have a voice note feature too. That way you can save your idea verbally and again come back to it later! I’ve heard many stories about people dropping their phone down the loo so my advice is to not take it in there. There are other ways!

2. The Old Fashioned Way – Good ol’ pen and paper! Even nowadays I still do keep a notepad and pen in my bag so that I can scribble notes down very quickly. Whether or not I can read my handwriting afterwards is another matter altogether! It’s a good idea to keep them with you and just have them to hand if you ever need to scribe. I actually keep two with me. A larger notepad for my main notes and a small pad that could fit into my pocket for tiny scribbles.

3. Improve Your Memory – You can always train your memory so that you never forget anything again! Although my memory is generally quite good I find that I will always forget things no matter how hard I try to remember them. Whenever I tell myself that I have to remember something for later I inevitably forget and always remember the things I don’t need to remember.

Whatever happens though don’t let those flashes of inspiration go to waste! Take the extra time to note them down, even if it means pulling over the car so you can write it down; just do it!

Nearly 9 years ago to the day I decided to join a my local badminton and squash clubs at the same time. I’ve been playing badminton ever since and I’ve made some wonderful friends. I didn’t enjoy the squash club as much so I went a few times but I never went back.

I decided that going it alone was the way to go because I knew that if I waited for friends to join me I would never end up experimenting. I think we all do that or have done that in the past where we’ve suggested an idea to a friend – “Hey lets go join this club” and ultimately it never happens because either you, your friend, or both of you can never find a mutual time to go.

Are you an IGUIG kind of person? We create, what I call, dependencies or IGIUG’s (I’ll go if U go). If those dependencies fall through for us suddenly it becomes a reason not to go it alone and just do it; that or fear. Fear is another big reason. The fear of feeling silly for going and doing something or believing that other people think you’re a sad loner just because you are going it alone.

“Don’t wait for someone else to become available before you try something out. If you do you could be waiting a long time. Just go and do it!”

The Power Of Going It Alone

I personally find it empowering doing stuff alone. Going somewhere and doing something where I have no comfort zone and nothing to fall back on. More recently I decided to take up Salsa Dancing and so I decided that I’d go check out a class by myself. I loved it and made some wonderful new friends there. I would still be going were it not for the fact that they changed the day of the classes.

We build things up in our minds and make them so huge but once you get there I guarantee that it won’t be anything like you imagined. We get that niggly voice in the back of our minds that people might think you’re strange or weird just because you happen to be there alone. Most people don’t care! If you go with the SOUL intention of just enjoying yourself I promise you no one will even give something like that a second thought!

Going It Alone – But Why?

There is a simple answer to this question and it’s that if you take something up with a friend, then they decide to stop going for whatever reason, then the chances are that you’ll stop going too. It’s especially the case if you didn’t spread your wings while you were there and make new friends. Whereas if you went alone and made new friends from the offset then you wouldn’t have anything to hold you back from continuing.

Also think about what it will mean to you if you got used to going out there alone and meeting new people? What would it mean to you if you could approach strangers at any place or any time and strike up a conversation?

Other Scenarios

I also believe it’s important to be able to go out and do regular stuff alone. My personal favourite is go to a cafe and just hang out. I’m quite happy going to the movies alone or going for a meal alone. I actually quite appreciate the alone time as I spend so much time surrounded by people so that time alone is precious to me.

Find That Balance

See if you can find a good balance of the two. When you can appreciate the times when you’re alone you also appreciate the times when you’re with people much more. If you’re alone all the time it’s natural that you’ll feel lonely. If you’re always with people again it’s natural that you’re going to feel overwhelmed once in a while and will want to crave that time alone.

Setting The Trend

Amongst my peers I’ve started to set a few trends. Just recently I started to skip in between my badminton games to increase my fitness. As a result two of my fellow players also went out and bought skipping ropes and have taken up skipping! Initially I thought people would think I was weird because I was skipping (and because my rope looked a bit girly! ) and yes I get a few minor jibes from the guys but for most it aroused their curiosity.

Generally when I tell people all the things I do they get intrigued want to join me! They often say to me “let me know when you’re going next and I’ll join you”. To which I always now respond the same way: “Here are the details so feel free to join me any time but don’t expect me to remind you of every instance I go. If it’s something you really want to do you don’t need me to prompt you…just go do it!”

When I started working with disabled children so many people expressed interest in joining. So I gave them details but they never followed through because they were waiting for me to prompt them on when the sessions were. Because they put the onus on me they never ended up going and ultimately are missing out on something I find personally extremely fulfilling.

From Loner to ‘Lone Ranger’

Don’t be embarrassed about going it alone to try new stuff. Think of it as an adventure! The unknown can be scary but is equally exciting! If you genuinely don’t have fun you don’t have to continue going. Try something new! I’m looking forward to hearing about the adventures you’re about to have! If you discover something especially fun, let me know, I may just come with you!

Yesterday was my fourth stand-up appearance and one thing I can say for certain is that is definitely doesn’t get any easier! It was my third perfomance with Humili-Asian out of the four that we’ve done in total.

I probably didn’t make it any easier for myself by leaving my preparations till the last minute. Even though I’d created my joke concepts and ideas I hadn’t written or polished off my act until an hour before I was due to be in the theatre.

On the Saturday, the day before the event, I got my head down and started the process of polishing off my act. I went to a cafe and got to work. Thankfully I did a smart thing and I created a routine that was 8 minutes long which was ideal! Any longer and I wouldn’t have been able to memorise it in time; any shorter and I wouldn’t have given the audience their monies worth.

Sunday had arrived and I still had not quite finished off the final version so first thing in the morning I switched on my laptop and got straight to work. With four hours remaining before I had to be at the theatre I did my first practise. I always time my routines to that I have a good idea of how long I’ll be on stage. My routine, without pauses for laughter, was just about hittting the 8 minute mark so I guessed I would be on stage for about 9 minutes in total.

Something I learned from this experience that I haven’t verbalised until now is that the more you practise as if you’re on stage what will happen is as you’re practising you’ll get new ideas, different punchlines or even the premise of the joke my change or a different combination in your routine. The more you practise the more that your act will become refined.

I had an hour left at the theatre and I managed two successful practises without looking at my notes so I collected everything I needed and got to the theatre. Once again I was asked (forced) to go first!

I can say with confidence that my routine was successful and I got some great laughs. I did miss one of my main jokes but I did my routine and finished on a strong note which I struggled to do on the last couple of occasions.

Oh and something which I haven’t even mentioned yet also is that my goal for this event was to create a routine that was free from swearing and contained no blue humour. I can’t even begin to describe how much of challange that is! Why did I create a clean set? Well because for me the ultimate goal is to get good at public speaking and be an international speaker and I wanted to create humour that I could integrate into my speeches and be acceptable wherever I go; especially for younger audiences!

I love being on stage and doing stand-up. It’s just a wonderful experience being on stage and holding the attention of the audience and being able to make then laugh. Now that I’ve learned to deal with my own fears of being on stage and the other additional challenges of speaking and writing I am offering my services of coaching to anyone that would like to be coached in that area.

Be afraid!

To put yourself into a position of fear is actually a good thing. Doing so on a regular basis is even better. Putting yourself in stressful situations is not and there is a very distinct difference!

The fear factor is wonderful! It’s the mechanism that tells us that we’re experiencing something new and something that is challenging us on every level. I had extreme fear the first time I went up to do the ‘Firewalk’ and I can in all honesty that it wasn’t the kind you associate with stress. It was a very different kind of feeling, I was very excited but scared at the same time.

That kind of fear is good for us; it’s when you do the thing that was giving you fear in the first place that you experience growth!

Stress based fear is very different and more often that not comes from being unprepared. You cannot be prepared for everything but you can prepare for most things that you know are coming your way and hence eliminate the majority, if not all, the forthcoming stress. Being prepared is probably the main key to the this and planning ahead also plays a big role.

You can also change your mindset and covert the stress into the healthy kind of fear by simply remembering that it is a challenge that is going to make you grow. It can be for anything too; like buying your first house or going for a job interview.

His passion is music (although he would argue it is chocolate!). His voice, so deliberate yet strategically subtle, gentle teasing you into submission for the message he brings. A winning combination to the lyrics, which are layered like a rich tapestry of life experience, higher learning, faith, goals and love. It’s like the poetic murmurings of a beautifully sung prayer – it touch’s your heart and leaves light in your soul!

Read the following in depth interview to uncover why this inspiring new artist is promoting the one thought “the human solution is a divine evolution” and why he has decided to donate his profits to a charity close to his heart.

So Stu, when and why did you start playing guitar, and when did you discover you had the talent to sing?

I asked for a guitar on my 16th birthday, as soon as I knew a few chords I started writing my own songs. A few months later I made my own studio by lashing together my ghetto blaster to my girlfriend’s dad’s stereo.
I knew I could sing as a child because I could imitate all the songs I liked, but I was v shy.

What are your fondest musical memories?

Playing my old Walt Disney record, yes vinyl! My favourite “I wanna be like you” over & over. Still know it word for word & every monkey noise.
Then my next favourite memory is when I was 17 & went to Dingwalls Jazz club on a Sunday afternoon. Giles Peterson was playing frenetic but musical 60’s bebop & two guys (I think maybe “brothers in Jazz”) were dancing, the floor just cleared for them. I can’t describe in words how I felt, the sound & the sight just moved me to tears as I stared, it was a v deep experience. They had such style, grace & physicality, the rhythm, joy & energy was shinning from them, the sound … it was a high that no drugs could come close too.
That experience got me into dancing, so I went every week to these Sunday afternoon jazz clubs, even on my own, it was so cool. Never packed & always full of interesting souls struttin n stepping, expressing their thing. You can see a person s soul through the eyes & how they move to rhythm.

So who are your influences?

The person who is the single biggest influence on me musically is my music teacher, Professor TV Gopalakrishnan, a master of Classical Indian music.

Who are your favorite musicians? Groups?

Musicians & influence is such an enormous question for me; so here goes. My musical training came from listening, first to the radio, with whatever caught my ear. As a young teenager I loved rock n roll, especially Little Richard, but the radio is so diverse & so my taste has always been diverse, but generally its Black music in its many forms. Growing older I could afford records: I loved the songs Prince did, up until about 90’s, loved hip hop beats, conscious lyrics of KRS1 & Chuck D, but the best flow was Big Daddy Kane. At that time you were either an indie kid or hip hop, I was the odd ball, I did like both, though I could only dance to hip hop. Indie songs, bands I appreciated. The breaks in hip hop got me into funk, JB being the obvious, but then the breaks began to get more obscure, jazz influenced & soon my record collection was well over 10,000; gospel, jazz, funk, soul etc.
No one name really stands out, but sooo many songs & artists have influenced me.

So how do you handle mistakes during a performance and do you ever get nervous before a performance?

Mistakes, if u don’t make a big deal of it, other people won’t either. When buskin on the underground I would actually be trying things out, writing, working ideas. True performance art ! the energy & vibe of all those people would become part of the creation. Busker’s do 2 hour slots, its all v official, sometimes for those 2 hours I’d work on 1 song, but people only hear 10 seconds of it so it cool. Any way if I didn’t make “mistakes” I wouldn’t get ideas. Of course I got nervous. The mind is such a trickster. Some days u listen to its crap more than others.

Do you work with other artists, If so who? and why?

Yeah, I got into doing my own stuff by working with others. My first single “Money” by Coco & the Bean, I did the rap for it. These guys did hip hop in their bedroom so this inspired me to do likewise. Currently I’m working with Sali, a Carnatic (south Indian classical) singer on an innovative dance track, also an RnB singer called Kavita, she’s great but keeps burping like Barney (Simpson’s) after a great vocal take.

Ha ha, very funny – I’ll get you back for that!
So, tell us about the REAL Stu?

Big question eh? I’m special, there’s no one quite like me. Then we are all unique & special so I guess I’m ordinarily special. I’m very blessed, I’ve had the opportunity to experience a “western” & “eastern” family life. I’m v healthy. Funny, well I laugh at myself. V positive, love life, especially people, but I think our potential is nowhere near reached. I’m also blessed with many talents, musical creations being the primary. But the more I witness people struggling with themselves, religion, God etc the more I realize that my most treasured blessing is having a direct communication with the divine. I always feel truly at ease with my personal faith & this actually also makes me feel at ease with any religious faith. Religious texts are words but the wisdom is woven between the words, interpretation depends on the heart & mind of the reader. The essence of love is universal, humanity is corrupted by ego. Music transcends all this political egotistical crap because its feeling comes not from words but the movement of notes. Like love it has its universal law. I study Carnatic music because the “laws” that define this music have evolved over thousands of years & its focus is more internal, it has more culture, not to say its better, but it has a different emphasis. It will be many more years before I will master this art but its influence will permeate into my creations.

Why do you want to record and release your own music?

I make one big assumption in life: if I like something, other people will also like it, not everyone, but then not everyone likes Thai red curry, but I do.
“I admit, this rhyme is not mine, it’s inspired, divine….” That’s a quote from “Beats n Love” but it reflects my music. I feel that my music will inspire other people, whether it’s a social or political comment or whether its lust or love, my tunes are varied, but whatever the message & emotion that combination of notes conveys, other people will share & appreciate hearing it.
I feel I have a “product” which is not eclectic, cliquey but has a wide appeal. I want to get “mass” appeal, that will mean more influence, power & of course money. With those ingredients I stand a chance of creating a school for deprived kids.

How do you describe your music to people?

It depends who I’m talking to. Music is a science, its full of maths, symmetry, structure, its incredibly beautiful. Its nature & nature is not as crazy & abstract as many people think. If you are not aware of the fundamentals of it, then how can it be discussed? If u wanna chat like a critic then its all about your perspective, your interpretation & feeling. Many people may share that feeling but not everyone so its not really a discussion.
My music is natural, so without trying it has a structure, symmetry, flow etc. its natural because its inspired: by the millions of songs, rhythms & nature, by life, energy & love.

Out of the songs that you have written so far, which one is your favorite and why?

“On my way” seems to be a big favorite, I like it cos its catchy & has a great positive message. Its not my personal favorite. My favorites are some of my earlier tracks which wont be released till I’m in a position of having a great studio & engineer to do them justice. The sound scape of them is amazing, I would spend sometimes up to 4 months on one track. Now I spend about 4 weeks.
What challenges have you had to face in order to pursue music?
Time has been the biggest challenge. I’ve needed a lot of time to be ready for this release. Physically, spiritually, mentally as well as musically. I’ve practiced yoga for 15 years, studied martial arts, Sufiism, Carnatic music, ayervedic medicine, dance, all to get a balance in my life. I trained to become a school teacher, its all part of the BIG plan, its starting to come together. My drive has pushed me through some v tough times, fate has continually pulled me along. I’m ready now.

Why have you decided to donate your profits to charity and why have you chosen this charity?

The Parry Charitable foundation is a small independent charity that provides a loving home for handicapped children. It’s standard of care is high & there is a big waiting list. Every penny from donation goes into helping the kids NOT on administration. ALL the workers are volunteer, most charities 70% of your donation goes into paying their admin costs.
I know this charity & sometimes work there myself, for these reasons I donate to them.
In the long term I want to set up my own school for deprived children. I’m a qualified school teacher, yoga teacher & scientist as well as many other “life” skills. From a young age I would talk to God. When I was 12 years old I received instructions to help deprived children. This goal is my purpose, music is the vehicle to propel me there.

OK, finally what does “the human solution is a divine evolution” really mean?

It’s from the track ‘On my way’….
Ok this small phrase has a big meaning, & rather like a sutra in yoga text, a surah in the Holy Qur’an or verse from the Holy bible its open to interpretation. Unlike those wonderful books of wisdom the writer is fortunately for me still around. So here’s the intended meaning: evolution; this word is kicking up a big fuss lately, in America some schools are refuting the scientific evidence & claiming the “literal” bible version of evolution. Well books of ancient wisdom such as the Old Testament were written with hidden meaning & depth that belies a superficial surface. The true value of the words lie in studying those hidden meanings. The Darwin theory of evolution & the scientific evidence is compatible with religion in fact it’s magnitude & beauty reinforces a divinity & creation. However this is not the platform for this debate & as I said before, interpretation is dependant on perspective. What’s important is that evolution is not HISTORICAL its continuous. We are still evolving & compared to the history of the world we have just climbed down from the trees. If you look at how we behave we are still as ruthless as we ever were as beasts. Capitalism is the law of the jungle but applied to the City. “Only the strong survive. “ Fortunately this is not the whole story. All over the world people are silently working, giving unconditional love to those who are in need or weaker. I believe that right now, historically, we are at a cross roads of evolution. Technology is changing our lives & the global communication phenomena can & is spreading a message of love. It’s mixed up with violence & sex but Its harder to get any more violent than we are, its impossible to take off any more clothes, but the message of love is limitless & individuals & groups everywhere are able to contribute & unify in a way even the hippies never dreamed off. I read in a Sufi book once (can’t remember which one, sorry). “When we act like animals we are worse than the animals but when we act like angels we are better than the angels.”
Its just a case of time. When will we choose the path of love?

Thank you to Stu for sharing his work with us and giving us the time for this interview, and thank YOU for reading the article.

If you would like to know more about this artist, then please check out his website WWW.STUSOUNDS.COM

Special thanks to the designer of the website: Pj (www.websitedesignz.net) and Phil (www.macpips.com)

Article written by: Kavita Sohanta – I DO NOT burp in between songs!

In my last articled titled Confidence Vs Experience I briefly touched on some aspects about confidence and I thought I would take that avenue and explore it further, to give you some methods of creating bags of confidence, that you can carry with you wherever you go and use for whatever you wish.

I’m not an expert in this area, but I do have some ideas on how I feel titanium like confidence can be forged so I will be putting these into practise for myself. I’ll be explaining some of the EDTA’s (Essential Daily Thoughts & Actions) that I will also be employing on a day to day basis to make me more confident in all area’s of my life. It’s important to remember that confidence and arrogance are two totally separate traits. They cannot be exhibited at the same time. Arrogance is not confidence and confidence is not arrogance.

So why does it seem like some people are born with confidence and others are as timid as kittens?

Let me use the example of a guy who I see as having all the confidence in the world when it comes to approaching women and talking to them. Lets call this person guy A. Then there’s the other type of guy who gets sweaty palms, they start stammering and totally turn the whole thing into a dogs dinner! We’ll call this guy B.

What is the difference between these two types of guys? Did A inherit his super confidence from his parents? Did he go on a course? Was he blessed with this talent from God? Was he born with it? Is it part of his genes? Did guy B miss out on the confidence gene? Was it because of a bad past experience? Was it because his parents were unconfident and he learned from them? I’m sure that all of these factors have had an impact although to a minisucle degree! But it’s very simple, it’s their psychology!! It’s what they’re thinking in the moments before they actually take action and approach the beautiful lady across the room that makes the difference between A and B going home with that girl or going home alone.

I guarantee that guy A tries and fails a hundred times more than guy B but the way that guy A and B interpret the information from those failures is completely different. Guy A will take that failure, figure out what worked and what didn’t work and use those learnings for the next time. Whereas guy B, the perfectionist who expects way too much of himself, wasn’t successful, feels that he is a failure in that area of life and decides that he’s no good at approaching women and decides feels that any future attempts will be futile.

Confidence is inner belief manifested through action. You may have already noticed that whatever you are thinking when undertaking any task it going to have a huge impact on the outcome of a task. For example: When I play badminton, I’ve often noticed that if I’m winning a game, I have trouble in converting those points into an actual win and closing out the match. Why? Because near the end of the game I start worrying about what mistakes I might make. It is me, thinking about all the mistakes I could possibly make and then doing exactly that.

Before I go any further, let me ask you, are you truly commited to changing your old ways and converting it into the confidence of a stallion? You must understand it takes work, it takes commitment but the changes and rewards will be well worth it if you choose to put in the time.

From here on out I’m assuming that you are 100% commited to being more confident and will follow these steps to go through the process of change

Step 1 – Be honest!

In my example earlier I talked about some of the challenges guys face when approaching women. That’s one of many examples but the principles to apply are exactly the same. So firstly what areas of your life would you like to gain greater confidence in? I’m going to be completely honest here and tell you my three….i always pretend to be more confident than I am but here are my three:

1) I want to be more confident in approaching women
2) I want to be more confident in my skills, more specifically, badminton, but in one or two additional areas
3) I want to be more confident in my skills and abilities to produce results as a Life Coach

So go on, what are your 3?

Step 2 – Notice the patterns

As with every shift in mindset you must first start to notice the patterns of your own thinking. Remember that your habitual way of thinking is unconsciously determining the outcome of many aspects of your life. Take one of your three above and look closely at the way you think. If you cannot see where your thinking is letting you down perhaps get a close friend to look at this with you. Write down the dialougue of your thought pattern. What words are you saying to yourself, what pictures are you seeing? What sounds are you hearing? What are you feeling? Take special care not to pollute this what you would like to have in your mind or be feeling. We’ll get to that part later, for now, as honestly as possible, make notes on those points.

Step 3 – Interrupt the patterns

Once you become aware of your patterns the next step becomes easy! Lets say for example, that you’re not very confident around other people and that you often put yourself down. You now have a much clearer understanding of what it is that’s causing your behaviour. You have it right in front of you the patterns of destruction that you’ve been doing so often that have led you to think that you’re not worthy or don’t have as much as everyone else to offer. Now that you know, it’s time to change it. As soon as you notice yourself doing it, you’re going to change it. You’re going to change it not by fighting it and trying to install a new pattern of thinking. You’re going to Interrupt it by thinking of something that makes you feel good. In my case, I’m going to think of the James Brown Song: “I Feel Good.” I’m litereally gonna sing that song in my head and imagine myself doing some James Brown style funky moves! I’m going to keep doing this enough until I’ve interrupted the old pattern enough that I just can do that pattern of thinking anymore, I automatically begin to think of James Brown instead.

Step 4 – Install the new pattern

This is where it can vary slightly from situation to situation but again the underlying principle is the same. Just a few minutes a day is all this takes and this step will transform your results for the rest of your life. Create some time to sit and visualise the perfect scenario. Wipe clean that slate of images of failure that you may have created in the past and start making the internal visual rehersals of the ideal outcome that you want for any given situation. Imagine yourself making all the right moves, say all the right things, have the perfect body language, oozing with confidence at every step. When you do this on a regular basis you’ll find you’ll automatically begin to do these things when the situation arises. These rehersals will automatically repattern you into doing the things that you feel represent the ideal outcomes and results for any given situation.

If in the past you used to create small faded images of having a drink thrown over you by a woman, then instead create large bright images of the woman being completely interested in what you’re saying and laughing at your jokes! Your imagination is the limit!

Step 5 – Do your homework!

Whatever area you want to boost your confidence in, do your homework! Research those who are the masters of their trade! If you want to become more funny and be more confident in telling your jokes, then study the master comedians and have some material always in your mind that you can draw from to make people laugh!

In Summary

I will be putting this actions into practise myself and so I will be working with you on this all the way. If you want any help with this, feel free to leave me a comment or just email me on amit@unlimitedchoice.org and I’ll assist you with in anyway that I can.

“With confidence, you have won before you have started.” – Marcus Garvey

In a world where experience is valued so highly and confidence is given a bit of a bad rap in comparison, I aim to examine this mindset and find the answer to the question about which is more valuabe to you. That’s not to say that either has more power than the other, but when you know where each comes from and the value that it has, you can then utilise them to maximum effect. Anyone who’s ever been for a job interview for example, will know that you are 100/100 times going to be asked the question: “What experience do you have?” While I personally do value experience highly, I believe it in many ways to be a lesser tool in creating the life you ideally want to choose.

Since I do Life Coaching, lets take this as an example. If you wanted to find a Life Coach that was perfectly suited to your needs, what would be the first thing you would search for in your Life Coach? What qualities would you search for? I’m guessing that you would probably scour the net and search for one with a great website that grabs your attention! Marketing aside, when actually making your final selection what would you be looking for? Experience? Qualifications? Confidence? Recommendations? Testimonials? What would be the deciding factor for you? When I picked my Life Coach, it had nothing to do with her experience, and everything to do with her confidence. We met completely by accident on the internet and she isn’t even a trained Life Coach by profession. But I saw straight away that she had amazing confidence and that grabbed me the most and I decided that I wanted her and no one else as my Life Coach.

How highly do you value your own experience in whatever it is that you do and do you feel that it’s been the most important factor in you getting to where you are, or are wanting to be? The danger with constantly looking at our own experience is that we can restrict or deny ourselves from persuing our dreams just because: “I don’t have enough experience!” I can’t think of a worse way to live life because if it wasn’t for my confidence and persuit of my dream 8 years ago, I would never have gotten my first I.T. Job for the one of the worlds largest investment banks with no qualifications, no degree and barely any experience!

Experience can often hold you back from doing the things you’re capable of doing just because someone has said to you: “you don’t have enough experience!” Anytime anyone has said those words to me I wanted to tell them – where to go, in the nicest way possible; in my head I always end up swearing, however I won’t share that here as there maybe women and children present!

Yes, experience is extremely important, but where you lack experience, you must make up for it with confidence! Confidence will be the driving force that will make your dreams come true. So you might ask: “How do I gain confidence?” or “how do I become confident at something I’ve never done or have no experience of?” Those are all good questions and there are several ways of building your confidence to a degree where your confidence will determine the outcome, not your experience.

Before I move onto those it’s important for me to mention that whatever experience you do have, can be elicited for any other task you choose to apply it too. Your experience should never ever be discounted but it also should never be the deciding factor for you. If you truly want to do something, experience or not, your levels of self belief are priceless. I also want to make it clear that confidence and arrogance cannot occupy the same space or time! They are not the same thing, they’re not even similar or close! Someone with confidence would never be arrogant as arrogance stems from insecurity. It is a result of lack of self belief manifesting an attiude of: “I am better than you.” Someone with true confidence would never need to think that and in fact would use their confidence to assist others in building theirs.

Here are some ways of raising your confidence and self-belief so that you can utilise it in a variety of situations whether that be to do with career, relationships, business, sports, etc, these tools apply to all.

1. I’ve already mentioned before the principle of Ghosting. Ghosting is a tool to physically and mentally practise your actions and steps without being in a live situation. In the example of sport, lets take the game of squash, you would be on a squash court, practise your strokes and moves with an imaginary opponent but in your mind you imgine that you’re in a real game! You can do the same for any situation. You can pretend you’re in an interview and are being asked questions and you give outstanding answers. You can practise your body language, gesticulation, any aspect of it you wish! If you’re a young guy like me and you want to practise asking a young lady on a date, ghost or rehearse it first. Do it in front of a mirror, check your stance, your posture, your demeanor, practise what you’re going to say, all of these methods will boost your confidence 100 fold!

2. In point 1 I briefly touched upon body language. I only touched upon it but it probably one of the biggest factors in devoloping your confidence to superhuman levels. Your body is your largest communication device. Every thing you do with your body sends out a message. For example, you’re listening to someone speak but you yawn or your eyes keep wandering or you keep looking at the time. What message does that send? You MUST learn to know what your body is communicating at any given moment! If you need to practise in front of a mirror, that’s perfectly alright. I’m sure in the privacy of your own home you will always have the opportunity to do that. The secret is, imagine yourself as confident in whatever you do, and as you look at yourself in the mirror, see clearly how your body is behaving. Observe what confidence looks like. Find a role model who exudes confidence and mimmick their body! I say it again! YOUR BODY IS YOUR BIGGEST COMMUNICATION DEVICE! Learn how it talks and you will truly find your confidence levels soaring through this one step alone!

3. The third and final tool for enhancing your confidence is literally, get good at things! If you’re good at nothing, try taking up something new, maybe a sudoku puzzle, chess, a sport, running. What are you good at? Write a list of the things you’re very good at and think about how you became good at it and how you exhibit your confidence while you’re doing it! Maybe you’re great at computer games! Maybe you’re great at public speaking! If anyone says to me that they’re not good at anything, I would turn around and say: “Thats not true, you’re a great liar as everyone is good at something!!” You have a talent, bring it to the surface and ask yourself what it is that gives you that talent and how does your confidence show?

There we have it. Your confidence is probably the biggest gun in your arsenal, it supersedes your experience because it will be the thing that puts all your experience in combined form to good use and help you to make your dreams come true!

Be confident.

To bring about automatic successful self-marketing when you meet people do something to make them remember you. Get a “thing” that people will always associate with you and you alone.

It could be something as simple as a kind gesture, a silly joke that makes people laugh, approaching people randomly just to say hello! It could be anything of the sort. Don’t just be another face in the crowd, or one of many fish in the sea, be a rare species! Demonstrate your uniqueness and I guarantee that people will remember you for years to come!

Just in September last year, I was at a religious festival, I saw a woman I recognised although I wasn’t quite sure where from, but I felt like I knew her. So I decided to go up and say hello. It turned out that she was a news reporter that I had seen on T.V. Before the end of the festival I made sure I spoke to her again and got her email address. I also met her friends and remembered their names. A couple of days later I dropped her an email and mentioned all of her friends too. That made me not seem like the average Joe.

Because of my actions, It’s unlikely that she’ll forget me (although she’s probably trying to ) and now we have become friends. If I didn’t act, didn’t say hello, didn’t do something out of the blue, I wouldn’t have made this great connection.

Another time, a few years back, I was at a club, and had the chance to sing in front of the camera to win a CD. So I sang my heart out and I won the CD. Little did I realise that It was going to be broadcast on TV. :-O But because of that people I’ve never met before, still, come up to me and say: “Hey I’ve seen you on T.V. somewhere!”

Be remembered. Do one thing and find ‘your thing’ that will always allow people to remember you; be an endangered species.

I’ve just had an amazing few days. On Monday I was doing some voluntary work ( I call it that but it’s more like an enjoyable hobby) at a local school doing a business enterprise task with some year 10 students.

Once again I had in total about 40 students to look after by myself and we had although it was tough, I had a blast! Their task was to create mobile phone holder with minimal resources like: pen, paper, card, etc and their imagination was the limit! They came up with some amazing ideas some of them just blew me away!

It just goes to show how creative that children can be when they are encouraged and challenged in a productive way!

Today was a similar day but this time I went to an all girls school. We did a similar activity but this time they had to design a clothing brand and outfit, once again from very basic materials. Once again the response from the students was amazing. They all had such a fantastic time and created some amazing ideas from scratch!

After I got home I went to the gym and straight after that I went to a club. I was supposed to be going with some friends but most of them couldn’t make it and I nearly didn’t end up going too.

But then I thought to myself, why?

I realised that sometimes having the familiar people around you can be almost like a comfort blanket and I realised that I didn’t want to be someone who is that type of person.

So I decided to go by myself and just go and have a good time and do some networking for my Life Coaching business at the same time. I did feel a little reserved at first but after a while I got into the full swing of things, did loads of dancing, (even in this boiling weather!) :-p met loads of new people and made some friends and just generally got down and boogied!

It did make me realise that sometimes I try too hard with people, especially ladies, I have no problem making friends with guys but I always find myself trying just that little bit too hard with girls for some reason so next time I go I’m going to aim to relax more, approach strangers, guys and girls alike and speak to them without reservation and just enjoy the experience.

If you find yourself restricted by blankets, once in a while, challenge yourself and smash that comfort zone that you’ve created into smithereens! Go to the movies or club alone, go up to a stranger and strike up a conversation!

We have a natural tendency to think the worst may happen if we do so but I assure you that when you approach people with a friendly genuine smile and just say “hello” then you’ll be incredibly surprised by the welcoming response you get!

Throw away that comfort blankey!

When was the last time you had a creative idea in your head? If you have an idea, about anything at all, a new business, a concept, a blog post, an idea for a book, ideas or suggestions at work, ideas for your own life, it doesn’t matter what it may be, always embrace it!

In the past, I used to dismiss my own ideas and because of that, many of the great ideas I did have, have now been long forgotten. At some point I started writing down my ideas and just leave them there. But now I am beginning to write them down and act on them.

All too often an idea might come to you, you tell someone about this idea and they will not give it the same enthusiasm that you initially did and as a result you can loose the passion and power of that idea. The first thing you should do when you have an idea is note it down!! Wherever you are, what ever you’re doing, STOP! If you’re driving, pull over! If you’re in a meeting at work, scribble it down as quickly as possible! If you’re on the loo, then keep repeating it to yourself out loud until you get the opportunity to write it down…just don’t forget to wash your hands!

Don’t tell anyone about the idea just yet. After you’ve written it down, think about it, how would it work? Will it be possible and is it feasible? Does it require Money? If so do I have the money to resource the idea now or could it be obtained from somewhere? Has anyone done it before? (Search Google) Just do some brainstorming and let the ideas just bounce of each other. If the idea isn’t an option right now, then keep it written down for later. If you think it is possible but you want the advice of a friend then go ahead and ask someone who is supportive but will also offer constructive feedback.

When pitching your ideas to people, keep your passion about the idea alive and believe in yourself but at the same time know that other people may not appreciate the idea in the same way you do or see it from the same angle. Present it as clearly and simply as possible and avoid bogging it down with complex language. Even if the other person doesn’t like the idea, that doesn’t mean that the idea doesn’t have potential. Look around and see if anyone has done anything similar, if not, you may have just discovered a niche market for yourself.

Most importantly: Believe in your ideas and keep the flow of ideas open at all times. The way to do that is to keep jotting the new ones down and building on them. If you keep dismissing your own ideas soon the flow will stop and you will have but up a barrier against your creative nature. No matter how strange or weird they may seem at first, give them a chance to bloom.

Every time an idea pops into your head, utter to yourself: “What a great idea!!”

“Creative ideas can be both tangible and non-tangible and and so you have grab each idea with both hands and cherish them all because you never know which will be your kingmaker.”

Those few seconds of happiness are amazing. That moment when you kiss and hug your loved ones. Yes 2006 is here For a few short minutes there is happiness of newness and the prospect of new options and choices in our lives. Newness often brings the best out of people. It brings that hope that things can change and things can be different.

We start the process of making resolutions and within a few short days the resolutions are forgotten and once again everything seems normal. That hope is gone and nothing seems as rose tinted as it did for those few short moments We do this to ourselves every year. We build up our expectations of what say to ourselves; ” this year is going to be different. I’m going to effect change this year.” Unless we act upon those fresh feelings its begs the question why do we do it to ourselves? Why do we build up our own expectations of greatness and newness and then let those ambitions and dreams slip so quickly.

Alas, It too have felt this frustration and hence have come to write this article. These are my tips for beating those new year blues and keeping to those resolutions.

Resolution tips

1. Remember, the new year is just another day. However each day is new and with it you can make new choices and explore different dreams. Don’t put hopes on the new year bringing newness, just understand that each moment is new and it shouldn’t take a year to effect change. YOU CAN DO IT NOW!

2. Take your resolution seriously. Write it down and keep it somewhere, where you can see and read it everyday. Say it out loud every morning.

3. Try and make only on resolution at a time and stick to it. Keep it realistic and following it through to it’s completion if it’s something that needs finishing or or if it’s something ongoing make sure you dedicate some time to it and let nothing get in it’s way

4. Tell only one person what that resolution is and ask them to remind you of it incase you start to go off the rails. Don’t tell too many people otherwise it will loose it’s energy and you won’t be able to complete what you started.

5. Help someone else with their resolution.

General Tips

1. Check on that bank balance. Overspending over xmas and the new year is easy to do but just make sure you’ve left yourself enough to last you until the end of January. If you don’t you could face some unexpected fees and charges!

2. Get rid of old junk and clear the clutter

3. Take up some voluntary work

4. Make sure you that you don’t partake in weightloss fads. The last thing you want to do is make your weight and health yoyo. If you start something, make sure it’s realistic and keep it up.

5. Be creative. Do at least one creative thing every day!

6. Keep it real!!