It’s been 6 years since I started this blog which, so far, has over 570 articles.

It’s not all been smooth sailing but I’ve kept it going for the sheer love of blogging.

Just like anything I do in life, I do it because I enjoy doing it. Part and parcel of doing what you love is rejection.

Over the past two years I’ve been rejected more times than I can count. (Maybe that’s why I’ve been getting rejected; poor maths! )

I’ve been rejected for jobs, clients, auditions, guest posts, women…we won’t go too deep into that last one but the simple truth is, rejections suck!

When you get rejected it can feel like having your heart yanked out of your chest! (Kali Ma…shakti deh!)

The first is the worst!

The first time you get rejected it will feel like the end of the world. You’ll want to give up and bury your head somewhere. No one could blame you; that feeling is awful! You’d be an idiot to want to go through that again, right?

Well, no! The same reason for not going through it again is exactly the reason you should. Yes, you could well be rejected again and it will still hurt but, it’ll hurt a little less. The next time after that it will hurt a little less too.

It’ll hurt less and each time you get rejected and the chances of getting rejected again reduces ever so slightly. I call that the law of diminishing rejections. It also means that each time you increase your chance of success.

Remember: – The next time could always be YOUR time. If you don’t take that step, you’ll live your life never knowing what might have been.

Here’s a thought I want you to recap the next time you get rejected:

Rejection is preparation.

Every time you’re rejected it will prepare you better for the next time. Firstly, You won’t fear the rejection as much so you’ll feel more relaxed and your performance will be proportionately better.

Secondly, the natural reaction to rejection is evaluation. Once you’ve been rejected your natural instinct will be to question why. The result will be that you’ll probably go away and make some changes to hopefully be better the next time.

If you get rejected for a job, make sure you get feedback and find out why you got rejected. The same principle applies if you get rejected for a guest post or an audition.

Even if you don’t get any feedback, the sheer act of persistence will make you a better person. The fact you go back regardless of setbacks puts you in a league of your own. It’s takes a special kind of person to return once they’ve been rejected.

There are many stories of rejection. The story of Colonel Sanders and his 1008 rejections until he got his first ‘yes’! Writer Seth Godin got 900 rejection letters in one year.

Many people who are well known today received several rejections before they finally made it big. There’s even a book called Rotten Rejections full of rejections that writers, who are now famous or who wrote classics, received.

Yes, rejections totally suck at the time but you still have to keep one eye on your ultimate outcome.

If you still feel a bit down I want you to remember the kind of satisfaction you will feel when you get that first yes. It will be the sweetest feeling that can you possibly imagine. The ultimate prize will be success but that feeling will be like an early Christmas bonus.

The best revenge is success.

I owe a lot to my ego and pride. Some say that on a spiritual path one should become free of ego. I have no plans on living on a mountain somewhere surrounded by nature so I don’t see the point.

While I’ve chosen to live this kind of life, my ego and pride are assets.

Were it not for my pride or ego, I would’ve given up on life a long time ago, as any number of the tough situations I’ve faced in life had the potential of knocking me on my ass for good.

Why?

Simple, my ego didn’t allow me to quit. The thought of telling people I’d given up or, even admitting to myself that I’d quit kept me going. The shame had power!

The shame or ego kept me going more than anything else, especially in those times of desperation. I believe that often it’s the only thing we have during those moments; it’s the easiest feeling to reach for.

I’ve heard religious monks and scholars talk about the need to let go of ego but not everyone needs to live by that edict.

Sure, if you want to become one with nature and be away from materialistic things then go ahead, take the path of becoming ego free.

However, if your path is one where you want a business, money, the means to travel then I very much doubt you’ll get anywhere without your pride and ego.

The Ego Scale

Pride and ego are quintessential to success. I don’t think you will get to be successful and achieve your goals unless your ego and pride are in the right place.

Imagine a scale, to the left side is absolute arrogance, on the right is absolute insecurity. The middle represents being ego free.

I’ve discovered that in order to succeed, to be a winner, there is a very specific place on the scale that you need to be at.

That place is not in the middle, but about about a third of the way towards the arrogance side of the scale.

By aiming for that side you won’t become an egoistic maniac, in fact, you’ll have the perfect temperament to succeed. The desire to succeed and win is born of ego and to make sure it happens you need the power of your pride

The Pride Point

I call that specific point on the scale the pride point. It’s where I haven’t quite hit arrogance yet I’m feeling confident enough to let people know I’m feeling confident.

If I want to win at playing poker, I need to be at that specific point on the scale. If I end up feeling too arrogant and believing blindly that I’m going to win the hand, more often than not, I’ll get trumped.

If I want to win at playing badminton, I need to be at that point on the scale, if I end up feeling inadequate just because I’m playing better players, my level drops and I always lose.

It’s actually an amazing feeling when you hit the right point on the scale. You almost begin to feel unstoppable yet you know you could get beaten. I’ve experienced that feeling lots of times when I’ve played poker with my friends and when I’m in that zone, I always win.

When I’m in that place, I still feel vulnerable to defeat, yet I’m not concerned by it. I know I could lose the hand but I’m certain that by taking the risk, I’m doing absolutely the right thing.

Your don’t need to relinquish your ego. It’s there to prevent you from giving up. It’s there to help you win and succeed in all the pursuits you do.

Editors Note: This post has been written using my 30 minute practise.

The last few weeks have been intense. I barely had a moment to do anything I wanted to do. I had a thousand things that arose at once that needed my attention and/or required my physical presence.

I won’t get into all the details of what was going on but I will say that one of things that I needed to do was prepare and deliver a new workshop to some young people.

It was the night before and I had barely begun to prepare the workshop. All sorts of things entered my head like “should I call the organisers and say I can’t make it?”

Or “the workshop isn’t going to be very good, maybe it’s a good idea if I don’t do it just incase I give myself a bad reputation.”

Based on that self-talk I could’ve made any number of choices that were basically excuses I’d allowed to creep in. Generally speaking, decisions based that genre of self-talk rarely lead to good outcomes.

I had to pause, take a moment and pay attention to what I was really saying to myself. I was essentially giving myself excuses that were ‘outs’ so to speak.

This was all going on the night before I was going to deliver this workshop. Even though I’d decided the topic and done some mental planning, I had nothing down in print or on paper.

I should point out that this was all going on in my head at 3am. I was exhausted, and I had to be up by around 8am. I had to face the fact that there was very little planning that I was going to be able to do at that time.

I woke up with a thousand possible excuses running through my head of why I shouldn’t go. The occasional good thought did creep in. There was a kind of a battle going on in my head; the Jedi’s with the blue sabre’s were taking on the evil Sith lords with the red sabres.

I was approaching the tipping point of making a better decision but I wasn’t quite there yet.

Then, my entire mindset shifted. “This is my time of contributing something very powerful to the lives of these young people. Would I deprive them of my powerful wisdom? Not to mention my great sense of humour and all the giggles they’ll get.” I somehow managed to reach for the most powerful, driving thought I could in that instant.

I had a choice, fear the possibility that I might deliver a bad workshop, just because I was not fully prepared; or, I could go knowing that I may not give the best workshop ever, but instead give them the best of me.

At that moment I started to believe again in what I, Amit Sodha, as a human being had to offer all these wonderful young people.

I was out of bed like a shot. I got ready and got myself to the station.

I had a 45 minute train journey ahead of me. I knew that was probably not enough to plan a 45 minute workshop, but that I would still just give it my all. I scribbled like crazy and did as much as I could.

Whilst walking to the venue, I put myself into the right state. I remembered my purpose was not to look good, or be a great speaker, or to be a comedian, or to worry about what might go wrong, but simply to focus on them and the task at hand and that was to share something of value, from the core of everything I’d learned

I knew then that the rest would take care of itself.

I was at this event with many esteemed speakers; all very educated and very prominent within their respective fields. I looked around and for a moment I felt the insecurity of being a high school drop-out and had the thought “what can I possibly offer?” Once again, I had to bring myself back to focussing on the task at hand.

I reached for the most inspiring and powerful thought in that moment. The thought that was most in-line with what the highest purpose I could conceive of in that split second.

The workshop went wonderfully. I addressed two separate groups. They thoroughly enjoyed and I had a blast delivering them.

This method can be applied to any area of life. Before you write an article; before you go for a job interview. What is the most powerful and driving thought you can reach for in that moment?

Pause, take a moment, find that divine power that lies in a simple statement that you can echo in your head.

Editors Note: This is a fantastic guest post by Stuart Mills of Unlock The Door

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.” – Raymond Hull

Standing up for yourself is a trait that people admire in today’s society, even if they hate it when they’re the one that you’re standing up to! It’s admirable because it shows resilience, self-confidence, and a certain element of guts. And aren’t these attributes that everyone wants to have?

It’s a silly question; of course they are. But the reason that most people want to be able to stand up for themselves is because they currently don’t have the ability to do so! If someone challenges them then they’re likely to either fold and withdraw, giving up their defence, or they’ll lash out and start an argument, seeking to undermine the other person at all costs.

Neither of these approaches are beneficial to you.

When you back down from opposition, you give up your self-worth and say to the other, “Your needs are greater than mine”. You let them orchestrate the discussion, and the topic of the discussion, so that their needs are met, but not yours.

It’s like whittling away at wood; the wood gets trimmed down to suit the carver’s needs, but eventually, the wood gets whittled into nothing, a small stump of what it once was. It then gets discarded, as its no longer useful. If you let yourself be whittled away by other people, by ‘carvers’, then you’ll eventually get discarded too. You certainly don’t want that.

At the same time, if you fight back at every sign of opposition, if you defend your corner like a prize-fighter, then you won’t be whittled away. Instead, no-one will come near you for fear of upsetting you! You’ll be like Jake LaMotta from Raging Bull, always lashing out at those who loved him, resulting in nobody wanting to even know him. That was a sad movie, but it doesn’t have to end that way.

What To Do

Learning to stand up for yourself will ensure that other people respect you, they aren’t afraid that you’ll bite their head off, and they won’t try to push you around or whittle you down to suit their own needs. Before I share some tips on developing this trait, I must state that changes will happen gradually, not over-night. Take your time, accept the steady changes as natural, and you’ll improve one step at a time.

1.Speak With Authority

A lot of people have tendencies to mumble occasionally, especially when in high pressure situations. I know I mumble from time to time if I’m nervous. Mumbling is a sign of either having low interest, or being afraid of someone/something.

In other words, it doesn’t convey authority! When you speak with authority, people know. They can hear the changes in your voice, your tone, your speech clarity. They then know that you aren’t there to be pushed around. You will be listened to, and your point will be heard.

How do you speak with authority? Alter your posture to stand taller and more firm. Straighten your back, and keep your head up; as easy as it is to look down, you then lose the focus of the other person. Also, don’t rush into your words; calm down if you’re panicking, and speak slower than usual. Take time to savour each word, and make use of the awareness of each word. The more you utilise these techniques, the more they’ll start to feel natural.

2. Change Your Outlook

Your outlook on life is everything that the rest of the world will see. If they see an unhappy soul, who is just as likely to bite as talk, then they won’t want to talk with that soul, for fear of being unhappy or hurt themselves. However, if you’re bright about things in life, and take everything with a smile, then you’ll encourage everyone else to feel good about themselves. And this is a rare gift indeed.

It’s a law of life that we will want to help others who help us. Nobody will want to whittle away on a tree that gives them good air. So make the decision to assume a positive attitude, especially when dealing with people. People will listen to you if you treat them well, and then no-one has to suffer.

3. Find Help

Just because you’re getting picked on, or you’re having trouble holding back against criticism, doesn’t mean that you’re alone. You aren’t. There are others in this world that are in the same situation as yourself, and some of them have learned to stand up for themselves. You can see it in the way they carry themselves, they’ve learned through experience how to handle their lives.

What’s best is that these people may be willing to help you. I watched The King’s Speech last night, where Colin Firth’s character has a severe speech impediment, and is sorely lacking in confidence. He finds a man, Geoffrey Rush’s character, who has learned how to cure speech impediments with remarkable techniques that ultimately work. I won’t spoil any more of the film, which is truly amazing, but Rush’s character isn’t a doctor, and has no academic credentials; he learned all he knew from experience treating shell-shocked soldiers. He learned the hard way.

And others are like him. Search out people who know about your situation; look on websites and message boards. Ask around on Facebook, Twitter and Linked In. Go to your local library. There are people willing to help.

4. Stick Up For Others

Once you’ve got comfortable with sticking up for yourself, and others have realised this, take a look around. The reality is is that there will be other people that are in the same situation as yourself, being picked on or talked down by others who don’t know any better. You know what it feels like to be the victim, and it’s not nice. So stick up for those around you who may be treated unfairly.

Now they may not appreciate you helping them out, and they may tell you so, but secretly, they’ll appreciate having their antagonist off their back. As for the person dishing out the damage, they’ll quickly back down if they’re faced with someone who is willing to stand up to them.

I don’t suggest doing this tip often; word may get out about your actions. But once in a while, if you see someone in need of help, then sticking up for them will make you feel better, and make them feel a little bit better themselves.

Phew!

Thank you for reading this article, I appreciate your time. Feel free to head over to my place and I’ll make you welcome. A big thank you to Amit for being very kind in publishing this article. I owe him one

Stuart Mills is the creator of Unlock The Door, a place where he wants to help you become like Neo from The Matrix. You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter.

There is a path in life that is the most challenging. It is not for the faint-hearted and if you do not have the guts to take it on, then stop reading now.

Living Consciously is a decision you make in life, not to live as a automaton, but as a spirit that really chooses how to move forward; deciding moment to moment, and to really listen to that inner inspiration, and taking the necessary courageous steps to fulfil that calling.

A friend of mine recently said to me, “with every decision you make, comes the cumulative power of making better ones” and he’s absolutely right. Like a muscle in the body, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes and the path of Living Consciously works in exactly the same way.

It’s the power of saying “no” when everyone else around you is helplessly saying “yes”. Or the passion of saying “so what” every time you come face to face with a brick wall.

There there are the countless benefits you receive too. Yes, it will be incredibly challenging, and at times, overwhelming, but the rewards far outweigh any conceivable setback like being successful, attractive and truly fulfilled.

Living Consciously Vs Control

Some people believe that living consciously or the power of choice is too controlling or that they have to control their thoughts and emotions all the time. On the contrary!

There is nothing to control. Living Consciously is all about selection. We may have a million thoughts running through our head but which do you choose to pay attention to.

I hope for you that it’s the one that is closest to your true inner voice and not the ones that have been heavily diluted by the daily sensory overload. When you live consciously you’ll have the skill to tune and filter out the voices that do not serve your cause or your purpose.

It’s the same as mindfulness which is different to control. It’s paying attention to rather than selection. Control is the furthest thing from my mind. I neither want to control my thoughts or emotions; the more I try, the more they will fight back.

Boredom, Laziness and Procrastination

The “b” word never enters the vocabulary of individuals living the conscious path. They know that every single moment is more precious than the last and do their best to make use of that time wisely. If there is an absence of activity, it’s through volition not laziness. It’s a respite to recharge and refresh.

Laziness and excuses cease to be common place in the life individuals Living Consciously. They do not seek escape responsibilities through procrastination because they become aware of those moments. They are awake to the excuses and recognise when they they arise.

Attention, Mindfulness and Presence

The bottom line is do you want to one of those people that says every year, “wow, time is going so quick these days” because it isn’t being paid enough attention or do you want to enjoy every minute of the ride?

Being mindful is the only way of not skipping your existence. Do you really want to be one of those people that arrive at 50 and not have a clue about the journey? Is your life worth documenting? If you were to write it all out would it be worth it for others to read? Or would it be an account of how others lived while you watched?

Being mindful and present is the most amazing way to live life because you’re paying attention to the smallest of miracles that make us feel the biggest gratitude.

The ‘Living Consciously’ Manifesto

1. You will not succumb to the nature of someone who suffers from boredom or procrastination

4. You will practise mindfulness and the observation of the mini-miracles that are always occurring.

Warrior Or Wussy?

Have you got the guts and strength to stay awake during your own ride and be a peaceful warrior? Choosing this way of living is only for those real stamina.

Those who do, fall down, but will never stay down. They will rise to fight again and even enjoy the process. Everyone is capable of living consciously but only few fulfil that capability. Are you one of them? Or are you a wussy?

Who’s with me?

Where ever you go you’ll find that big businesses and leaders alike have mission statements to give them two things.

The first is clarity. It makes the reason behind all their actions clear and it keeps them focused. Secondly mission statements give people direction. It makes sure that people are heading towards a common goal or purpose.

Do you have a mission statement for your life? If so, what is it? If not why not create one right now that allows you to keep on track.

If you don’t know where to begin here’s some I made earlier; in fact here’s 21 mission statements that you can use and edit to keep you on the straight and narrow.

1. To be an amazing friend who is always there.

Real friends are few and far between. Perhaps it could be one of your missions in life to be an outstanding friend to those who need you.

2.To be a thrilling writer that is a companion to many.

Could you be the next Dan Brown or J. K. Rowling? I think you can.

3. To be a master of the internet and allow the world to come together.

Perhaps you could find a way to revolutionise the internet with a new type of social network of search engine? Or perhaps you’ll become a famous blogger.

4. To be a great healer of mankind.

Perhaps you already have the gift of healing and are looking to put it to good use. This mission statement may be the very thing to get you there.

5. To be an explorer and find something wonderful to share with the world where ever I go.

Haven’t you every been recommended a wonderful place to go when your travel? Maybe you could collate the most amazing places and share them with everyone.

6. To capture breathtaking snaps of what I see.

Even with something as simple as an iPhone you could take snaps of some truly magnificent sites.

7. To be a wise and inspiring teacher to the young future leaders of the world.

Young people need icons who can expand their minds and awaken their creativity in becoming the future leaders. Maybe you have something to pass on?

8. To be a super entrepreneur and bring wealth and value to those I serve.

Maybe your goals is way beyond just being a middle manager. You do truly serve people from top down and maybe you could be the next Warren Buffett?

9. To be a hero and a defender to those who do not have the means to defend themselves.

I remember when I first read The Street Lawyer; a great book by John Grisham that almost made me want to be a lawyer. A man working for those who needed support the most.

10. To give myself to those with very little and show them how to create abundance for themselves.

We do have so much even when we have so little and sharing that with those who have even less is an act of a saint.

11. To bring my music to the masses that give people the amazing gift of dance and booty shaking.

Perhaps you have a voice of an angel or you can create beats that uplift…go on…share it!

12. To bring quality programming to Television that educates people and expands their horizons.

Just look at what Rhonda Byrne did with The Secret. Perhaps it’s time to bring something like that to the mainstream.

13. To become an honest politician who actually puts the interest of voters before him/herself.

I know I’m really pushing the boat out with this one but perhaps you think you can show others how it’s supposed to be done.

14. To be a great competitive athlete who makes the competition have to evolve.

You may not be the best, but can you give the best a run for their money?

15. To bring love and laughter to all those who come into my presence.

Is there anything greater than to spread a bit of joy? Maybe this could be part of your core mission.

16. To give unconditional compassion and warmth to people who are in need.

Next time you walk past a beggar or a homeless person give them something as simple as an ear to bend.

17. To honour my own values no matter how great the adversity and achieve my dreams.

How often do you stick to your guns despite intense pressure?

18. To create the best and most healthy mouthwatering dishes that tantalise the taste-buds of millions.

Gourmet cooking is an art unto itself and if you like to scintillate taste buds then maybe this mission might get you hungry.

19. To leave a legacy that will be looked unto for generations to come.

How many great leaders of the past have you quoted. Do you think you’ll ever be quoted in the future?

20. To create artworks and masterpieces that captivate and and intrigue audiences.

Very few people aspire to be artists these days but maybe you could still bring something different to the table?

21. To create a mission for myself that drives me from within because it emanates from my very soul.

Until you find your main mission maybe you could make it a short term mission to find your main mission.

Which mission statements do you use for you life? Have you always had one? Now that you’ve read this are you going to create one for yourself?

It’s time to quit bitching about all the things that are going wrong in your life and do something drastic to change it.

Here’s 5 things you can do pretty much immediately to radically change your life:

1. Pummel a mission statement into your psyche – Whether you want to be an established writer, or the pioneer of a warp drives and faster than light travel, ingrain your mission statement into your brain! If you keep forgetting it, put reminders all over your house, car and even stick a post it on your dogs nose so every time you look into it’s cute eyes, you’ll be reminded of it. When you do this you’ll find that laziness and lethargy disappear.

2. Be bold and just frickin’ do it – An amazing friend of mine recently quit her job, put her flat on rent and went to China to TEFL. Of course she was scared; she had doubts towards the end; but I get regular emails from her and she’s loving it. What would’ve happened if she didn’t take that big step?

3. You know that business you’ve always wanted to start? Well, here’s a novel idea, START IT! – These days setting up a company takes about 5 minutes and barely requires any effort. But if you’re going to do it seriously have a game plan but just make sure you start. Reserve your new company name today!

4. Where you’ve been rejected repeatedly…here’s another new concept for wo/mankind…try again! I finally got my ballot place in the London Marathon after 5 continuous years of trying. I didn’t give up and even though this year they decided to stop the old ballot system, I still managed to get my place. I kept the faith and I persevered like a stalker!

5. If you’re down you really do need to think about those with less than you! – I want you to try and see how long you can survive with a blindfold on. Go on, try your daily chores. Or, tie both hands behind your back, and see how you survive without assistance…try and find a way to brush your teeth!?! It will radically change your perspective on life.

What are you waiting for?

What else have you done to change your life in a radical way?

There’s always a bigger fish right? Well, I don’t know about you but I’ve rarely seen anything bigger than a whale.

Surely that is the biggest fish right? (And right now if you’re thinking that a whale is a mammal then you’d be right…but it’s still a sea dwelling creature…so ner!)

Does the whale get a inferiority complex about it’s size? I don’t know and if I could speak whale I’d ask one. (Humpback, Sperm, Blue, Orca…the lingo sounds the same to me!) The thing is that if you ever suffer from or have suffered from an inferiority complex, then it’s very likely you’ve also indulged in a superiority complex too.

I was recently training some young people in radio. When I was teaching them I was the one in the room with the superiority complex. I was the one who had the knowledge and therefore I was the one who felt powerful. I was the one being looked to for the answers. It feels good to be in that situation, and while there, my natural confidence exuded unconsciously. I didn’t have to try and be confident; I just was.

I was also recently in a room full of radio professionals and I was being trained by them. Guess what? Do you think was feeling as confident as in the previous example? I went from being the teacher to being the student and being given all sorts of constructive criticism. It didn’t feel as good being in that situation, but then again, it was just what I needed to move to the next level.

Your subordination of yourself needs to be placed into context. If you’ve been doing your job for 5 years, you may often deal with people who’ve been there 10 years or more, and so you’re constantly being made to feel as if you are the student.

But then a lovely apprentice walks in, who’s just starting out, and suddenly you go from student to teacher mode relatively rapidly. So you can see straight away that your feelings of superiority or inferiority are totally contextual. In one scenario you may feel inferior and yet in the next you may feel totally superior.

I’ll share a different kind of life example with you where one area of superiority leaves an individual feeling extremely inferior in other areas of his life. I have this friend and he is an amazing Badminton player; the best I’ve ever seen and in his hay-day would have probably wiped the floor with the best of the British players. (Even though he’s in his late 30′s and overweight he still shows them a thing or two!)

In that setting he is the one that everyone looks up to. Yet you take him out of that environment and he is a different person altogether. He is insecure and not as confident at all in any other area of his life. So in a room full of badminton students he is the king and yet if I were to ask him to give a talk on whales to a bunch of oceanographers he would be a teenie bit shy.

I look around and I see so many amazing writers and bloggers out there and occasionally I’ve stopped and asked myself how, in such great company, can I expect to make an impact? I see it all around and it almost puts the brake on me being the creative genius that I am.

If I let that stop me from exploring my creativity how could I ever expect to reach the same levels as the individuals I admire? Someone great once said to me that if I see something I admire in someone it’s because I have that within me. The insecurity begins when I want it but think it’s out of my reach. Observation is the first step to acquiring.

In whatever area you feel as if you have a complex you have to really understand your level for what it is. To a beginner you are the master. To a master you are the student. By that very scale alone you can see that you have come far and yet can aspire to be so much more. Remember this scale the next time you feel your inferiority complex kicking in.

In case you were wondering: The master meeting another master; both see each other as equals yet they will openly learn from each other. They will know that the other has unlimited wisdom to offer. They will see the giant whale within the other.

Feeling down? The reason you are is because of a biased perception. You have conditioned your mind to focus on the things that cause those emotions.

How we think, we feel. How we feel, we think. It’s a cycle that is constantly in motion. The easier of the two to control is our thoughts so it’s a good place to begin making changes.

Before we begin a transformation, take a moment to be honest with yourself. Do you end up feeling down quite often? Do you feel down more often than you feel good? Do you often find yourself sitting around feeling depressed or sorry for yourself?

If you do then the reason is quite simple; it’s because you’ve conditioned your mind to look at all the things that are missing in your life. It’s become your main habitual pattern of thinking.

If you could snap out of that habit and initiate the realisation that you are then you can being to break that habit and start feeling better.

When people begin the conversation by asking what you do, do you often reply with “it’s quite boring actually”? Is that how you perceive your life and all the things you do?

You may now have built up this idea in your head that it’s boring but the truth is, it could be very interesting to the person you’re speaking too. Maybe you’re just putting it across in a mundane way.

This first step will provide a clue as to the way you perceive your your own value.

The second step can be quite tough to initiate the process. It involves waking up and having a the courage to look at the real reason you might be feeling down.

It involves analysing not why, but what it is that you’ve been focussing on that is causing you to feel down.

Are you thinking about what is missing in your life? Perhaps you feel lonely and lost? In that moment, can you switch it around and start to look at what you do have?

Maybe you’re thinking about what you’re owed or what life owes you. All of these are you thinking about the lack of something in your life.

Perception has flexible traits. That means it can be moulded according to what you choose. If you’re overpowered by habitual thinking, you can feel better right now by knowing that changing those habits is within your power.

Sometimes, when you’re feeling down, the emotions can be too strong to force them to change there and then. It’s worth letting them take their natural course. When you start to feel better then you can use the powers of your perspective to return to balance.

Before I go further there’s something I need to make clear. There are times when you’re going to feel elated and equally there are times when you are going to feel down.

The objective here is not to never feel down, because that is unrealistic. It’s to minimise the time in those down periods and to prevent them from happening too often.

I like to think of emotions in a simplistic format of 3 levels. Think of a scale; on side you have negative emotions, on the other, you have positive emotions.

The middle is place of the neutral. It’s where you are in flow. In that place I am not actually emotionally aware, I am just in action. A place of unconscious competence where my natural abilities emerge.

The positive side of the emotions might occur when I first hold a baby in my arms or get my dream job. The negative might occur when I’ve been hurt or someone close to me gets hurt.

The neutral flow is where I am at right now while writing this article. I am neither happy nor sad and yet just very content and grateful in allowing these words to emerge from me with fluidity.

When I’m stuck in the place of feeling down it’s very hard for me to get to the neutral place or to the positive side. Especially when it’s become a habit to think and feel that way that it happens frequently.

The solution here is training. It takes time to train the mind to move away from the habit of focussing on the lack to it’s opposite; asking where do I have abundance.

Just like the way you would give up smoking you can break the habit and get from a place where you’re always feeling down to where you’re in the neutral and positive ends of the emotional scale.

Let me offer some keys that can aid you to return your biased perception to a balanced perception.

1. Be honest with yourself about your emotional state and how often you feel down. If that’s the case every other day then your perception is very biased towards the things missing in your life.

Only when you redress that balance will you stop feeling down on such a regular basis

2. Feeling down is always the result of focussing on lack or what is missing. Know that there is nothing missing, it is just in a form that you do not recognise. When you choose to find and see that which you think you lack it will put the brakes on you feeling down.

3. Look carefully at the way you respond to personal questions that people ask you such as, what you do. This will offer a clue to the way you value yourself and the way your perception is currently balanced.

4. Know that your perception is flexible and perhaps ask the opinion of others with regards to their perception of events you may be facing. That could also trigger change.

5. Feeling down is a part of life and you cannot eliminate it totally. Know that it will happen sometimes and then just go with it.

6. Whatever you’re feeling like right now, it doesn’t matter. Absorb this information and understand it. So that in the future, when you’re feeling down, you can use this information to trigger a new paradigm in your thinking.

When was the last time you were feeling down, was it because you were focussing on lack? Or do you think it was because of something else?

This post is exactly as the title states. 10 magnificent messages that we can spread across the globe. I won’t leave you salivating any longer. Share these messages with everyone you know.

1. Nowness

I remember watching a program by the noted physicist and musician Brian Cox on the BBC regarding time.

One of the things he talked about was that because things only happen after an interval, we can never experience the now. For example, the light from the Sun takes eight minutes to reach our eyes. It then takes time for the brain to translate what it sees.

I disagree with Brian because there was something he forgot to mention. He forgot to mention what I experience immediately with my creative faculties. If I close my eyes and picture a boat that experience is immediate for me. And so, with that creative talent, I can then experience being in the now.

Even if, in reality, it is not the case, I can still come as close to that experience of now that my mind will allow. That feeling of being present is a pinnacle of spiritual state whilst in a body. It is an amazing feeling which is unmatched.

Spread the message to the world of the beauty of being in the now.

2. Decisiveness

The power of decision is the most powerful innate gift that we all have. There are endless debates going on around the world about whether we have the free will to choose or whether everything is just fate. Who cares?! I for one do not!

It’s irrelevant whether we have free will or not but I choose to live my life that way. I don’t care what I’m fated to be or do, I will just act as if I can choose my life every single step of the way. I will live as if I have given the gift of choice or free will and will live according to that doctrine.

I will make things happen through my decision rather than wait for them to happen through some unknown cosmic force.

Spread the message to live as if we are creatures that have free will. It’s the more blessed of the two schools of thought.

3. Attraction

I still think that the law of attraction is still probably one of the least understood concepts in the world of personal development. I was at a seminar a few years back. The lady sitting next to me was telling me how she’d met the man of her dreams and that she hadn’t even used the law of attraction.

It took me a long time to shake off my laughter before I explained to her that she could not, not have used the law of attraction. It is never switched on or off by the way we think. It is always on. Her attracting the perfect man was still the law of attraction.

She did not do it at the level of conscious thought. In fact the law of attraction does not work at the level of conscious thought. It works only at the level of unconscious thought. I tried to explain that to her but she still didn’t seem to get it and insisted that she hadn’t used the law of attraction to get her man.

Spread the message that the law of attraction is a universal constant. It cannot be switched off. All we can do is direct our unconscious mind to what we want the most.

4. Wealth Creation

Money is neither good or evil. It is a means. You decide then end. I was watching a show the other day about Monaco. It is probably the most affluent place in the world and it has very little, if any, crime at all. In fact the presenter showed an example of a Monaco newspaper and a British newspaper.

The front of the British paper was full of doom and gloom and the front of the Monaco paper was about yachts! It also had a lovely story in there about a 90 year old man who managed to go hand gliding. An ever so slight contrast.

Money can be used for evil but it can also do amazing things. I believe everyone on the planet has a right to feel wealthy. It doesn’t matter if you earn £10,000 a year or £100,000, you can feel wealthy. It is entirely the way that money is perceived and what is done with it.

Spread the message that wealth is a mindset which everyone has the right to and is capable of creating.

5. Synchronicity

When those spooky events occur, like when a person calls just as you were thinking about them, it is not only a sign of our messages being sent out but they are also being received. Pay attention to those events as they are laying out of map of what we are thinking or desiring at a deeper level.

Every human being has experienced an event of this kind. We are all capable of experiencing serendipity or providence and it is never by accident. Those events are meant to be through some unconscious desire. Whether your are the sender or receiver pay attention to them and take note when they happen.

Spread the word that synchronous events are not by accident. It is a pair with where intention has reached harmony.

6. Spirituality

Spirituality is not where you are or what you do, it is how you do it. Your golf swing can be a deep spiritual experience for you. Your business is a spiritual quest to create wealth for many people. Your one night stand with a stranger can be a deep spiritual experience.

With the understanding that anything can be spiritual suddenly things don’t seem mundane. You start to feel that your actions have a deeper purpose and meaning. When I walk it’s a spiritual experience. When I write it’s a spiritual experience. When I stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people it is a spiritual experience.

Begin seeing your actions with new eyes. That they have a deeper meaning on a cosmic level.

Spread the message that anything can be spiritual.

7. Mindfulness

Mindfulness is often associated with Buddhism but I see it as something that can be implemented in ones life regardless of religion. Being mindful is about bringing fourth to the conscious mind the amazing things that we do unconsciously. A great example is becoming aware of your heartbeat. Ask yourself what is keeping your heart beating?

Don’t focus too much on the answer though, just focus on the amazing feat of nature that it is. The chemical reactions or the heart pumping blood around the body. Another simple one observing you mind and body as you move your arm. What is the driver?

It is not the answers you are seeking through this process. It is simply paying attention to the miraculous processes that are going on all the time whilst you are unaware.

Spread the message of the practise of mindfulness and let all liberate their minds.

8. Purpose

Everyone has a purpose, not everyone discovers what that is. Our purpose is set way before we are born. As we get older we want to find that purpose and fulfil it. Those who do are happy and those who do not feel helpless.

You can find your purpose by discovering what really makes you happy and what things really make you enjoy life. If you are truly lost then my most powerful suggestion to you is to help others find their purpose and you will move a step closer to finding yours.

You existence is not a mishap, it was intended. When it was intended there was reason. There is a purpose we all share in that we all want to constantly recreate ourselves. Then there is another purpose which is unique to you.

Spread the message of our common purpose and the discovery of our unique purpose.

9. Oneness

There is a general consensus among the great minds across the globe that we are connected in some way. I believe we are actually connected in two ways. The first of which is on the physical level. We are interconnected the way that is demonstrated through non-local connection or entanglement.

I also believe we are connected at a non-physical or incorporeal level; a level that cannot be tested or experimented with scientific instruments. It can only be experienced once we leave the physical plain and enter the alternate realms. Whether that be through death, astral projection or meditation.

I’m totally open to the fact that I could be completely wrong. However, the attitude that comes with knowing that I am connected to everyone and everything, means that I am more likely to treat them equally. It means that all things become sacred. If everything is part of me and I am part of everything then karma is irrelevant. It means that as a natural consequence I will treat them with reverence and a naturally affinity.

Spread the message to treat everyone and everything as if you are connected with them.

10. Love

Love is an amazing word. There are so many flavours of love. The love you have for a spouse. The love you have for your friends and family. The love you have for your laptop if you’re a blogger.

I believe the word love to be synonymous with gratitude and appreciation. Many people give those words different meanings but I believe at the core level they are equal.

You don’t need a lecture from me on what love is, but all I will say is live a life filled with love. Give it, receive it, have it and never be ashamed of it.

Spread the message to the world to love more! Love things, love people, love life challenges and most importantly, love yourself!

I’ve always been a huge advocate of the mentoring process and it’s a tool that even big businesses now utilise.

I have been mentoring for well over 5 years and it began as something I started doing with kids in schools. My second mentee was a young man who was having difficulty staying focussed. I was called in to help. His mother was a teacher at the school and she wanted a private meeting with me.

When we met she said she was at her wits end. She’d tried everything to get her son to focus but his grades were low and he just had very little interest in education. His passions were music and cars.

So I finally met the student and we started seeing each other every couple of weeks. At first I just found out more about him and learned about what drove him. He reminded me so much of me at the same age – at that time I was in the same boat, I had no interest in school and I just couldn’t be bothered to study.

I met with him regularly and he gradually made small improvements. The biggest shift came though when one day, I saw a drawing in his notepad. It was the set up of a car stereo system that resembled a mind-map. I said to him ‘that looks great, did you know you can use that skill as a study aid?’

From then onwards, everything shifted. He went from being a D/E grade student to getting B’s and C’s almost overnight. It was a very simple strategy that paid dividends.

His mum was thrilled at his transformation, so much so, that she invited me around for dinner and to meet the whole family. At the time of his exams, his problem was not trying to get his head down to study, but from from the stress of studying so hard.

It’s amazing that such a small thing helped turn him around. That’s why I believe that mentoring can be so powerful. If you have the opportunity to mentor, take it. If someone asks you to mentor them, take it! Whether it be a business associate, student, friend, new blogger, and up coming comedian or even your own mother, you can mentor anyone.

To help you begin the process of being a great mentor, I’ve created this video that highlights 3 essential components. Please feel free to leave your feedback below.

Have you realised yet that you are unique and that you have an amazing talent to offer the world? Have you made an attempt to discover that gift and allow it to emerge for all the world to see?

Even though there are over 6 billion of us occupying this tiny piece of real estate in a gigantic universe you do have something precious which the world needs to see. I think Marianne Williamson said it best when she said – ‘your playing small does not serve the world’. Don’t play small. Find that one you thing you have that you do so well that it is almost unequaled.

Why Talent Gets Wasted

Every year so far, when I’ve been and given my talk at the PRU, I’ve talked about talent. I believe that it is essential to understand and acknowledge that we have something special within. It’s not something with which you need to compete, it’s something you need to discover and use.

I can’t think of anything more sad than seeing someone with so much talent and not knowing what to do with it or how to even begin. I’ve met hundreds of people who have both skills and ideas which get buried to the bottom of the cupboard because of one simple thing; lack of self belief. It is this lack of confidence that holds people back from creating a new niche or path.

Discover Your Talents

I’ve heard it often that people are just stuck and not sure what to do with life. The trick is to get out there and try new things. Only when you experiment can you discover what you’re good at, and equally as important, what you’re not good at or what you don’t enjoy.

When you were a child, what did you think you wanted to be when you grew up? I remember one of my dreams was to be an Aeronautical Engineer (don’t ask) or, believe it or not, a Teacher! I think my dreams became more grand as I become older (yes I was a wierd kid) and then it involved doing drama, acting, being on T.V., doing radio, and for many years I put that all on hold.

In the last 5 years or so I decided to revive those dreams and get them back on track. I didn’t just have one dream, I had many. So I decided to take a step into all of them to see which one I enjoyed the most. The funny thing is, they all tie in and are complimenting each other. Each of those talents can be used for a common goal.

How To Tune Into Your Talents

Think back to those flashes you’ve had of things you wanted to do but thought ‘nah, I could never do that’. Where did those flashes come? Did you see something that resonated with you? Was it being a pro stunt driver? Or was it as the chief pie taster at the Mr Kipling cake factory. Take a moment now and really think about it.

So now you have some idea of something that gets the core of your being excited. Remember; your dreams are yours and there is no need to be embarrased or ashamed of dreaming big.

So What Stopped You?

Did you convince yourself that you don’t have what it takes to be good at something? Maybe you’ve just decided that you’ll do it when ‘the time is right’ in the future. That time never comes my friends! You have to take hold of it now. Recognise when you’re creating obstacles and thoughts that are holding you back from taking action now.

What are you really good at?

What are you really good at? Are you a fantastic parent? Maybe you’re an awesome friend. Maybe you’re a meticulous doctor who treats his/her patients as human beings with real compassion? Or maybe you’re an inspiring teacher who speaks the language or his/her students so that they truly absorb the knowledge. Maybe you’re great at discovering new T.V. shows; after all there’s like a thousand channels out there with so much to offer. May be you can bring the smaller shows to the attention of a great audience?

Now That You Know

Now that you know you have a talent or you begun the path of exploring what it is, the question is, what are you going to do with it? Are you going to let it lie dormant to gather dust and cobwebs? Or are you going to now allow it to emerge for the whole world to see? Have you got the guts to set yourself a challenge of taking that gift and risk putting it all on the line? It’s time for you to go balls to the wall and set yourself free from all those false limitations. You have a gift, use it!

On Sundays, before I host my chat show, my colleague Eve presents the Chart Show and does a run down of the 20 biggest hits of the week. Before we switch over, in between shows, we’ll try and out smart each other by sneaking into the studio to scare the other; have a wrestling match; or, she’ll try to spray me with perfume and I’ll spray her with some man-scent! All battles which, because of my superior size and intellect, and because I have a mini copy of ‘The Art of War’ on my desk, I usually emerge victorious!

Anyway, with that in mind I wanted to present you all with a list of my top 30 chart of the most uplifting songs of all time! You’ll see some familiar ones in there and some not so familiar, either way all of these songs have some kind of special memory for me and songs you can listen to any time and anywhere!

30. Low Deep – Get Set

This is the only grime track that has made it into the list. I love it; the beat is awesome, it’s one of those tracks where if you feel you’re giving up, the beat alone is enough to get you going again!

29 – Survivor – Burning Heart

This list would not be complete without some of the Rocky sound tracks; this one of course being from Rocky IV where he had to fight the evil Russian Ivan Drago!

28. JoJo – Anything

Simply a great song with a sample of Toto – Africa and used so well. A song you can listen to any time and for any occasion!

27. Tupac – Until The End Of Time

Using a sample of Mr. Mister – Broken Wings Tupac came up with a track that never fails to make me feel good.

26. John Legend – Ordinary People

One of the smoothest R n’ B artists around and I still remember being in the car hearing this track and falling instantly in love with it!

25. Phil Collins – Take Me Home

Simply a classic!

24. The Family Stand – Ghetto Heaven

I love this track with a beat and melody that just can’t help you unwind.

23. Kenny Loggins – Highway To The Dangerzone

We all knew that this list wouldn’t be complete with at least one of the songs from the Top Gun sound track.

22. Joe Ft Papoose – Baby Where You At

This is a bit of a sad song but I just love the melody and the beat and it always makes me feel good!

21. Nickelback – How You Remind Me

Nickelback is the only rock concert I’ve ever been to. One of their awesome tracks that you just never get tired of!

20. Sam Sparro – Black And Gold

A recent song, probably one of those ones you either love or hate. I just happen to love it!

19. Timbaland Ft Keri Hilson – The Way I Are

I’ve always said that Timbaland is the Mozart of Hip Hop and here’s a good example of why. In a club this never fails to get people onto the dance floor!

18. Snoop Dogg Ft Justin Timberlake – Signs

It’s just a great chooooooon!

17. Chaka Demus & Pliers – Twist And Shout

This is one of those that you’ll unconsciously start moving your butt to…in public places.

16. Notch – Nuttin No Go So

I don’t know what he’s saying and I don’t care. If happiness had a sound, this is it!

15. Eric Benet – The Hunger

A live performance on Ellen. Eric has got to be one of the smoothest RnB artist/singers out there! This track is sheer heaven!

14. Bomfunk MC’s – Freestyler

Another one of those tracks that just gives you that get-up and go!

13. Chaka Khan – I Feel For You

An all time classic that will be around and played forever!

12. Tina Turner – Simply The Best

No personal development seminar would be complete without some TT!

11. Pointer Sisters – Jump

A happy go lucky track with clips from the 1984 Olympics.

10. Bruce Horsby And The Range – The Way It Is

A mellow classic that just makes you chillax!

(Or the Tupac ‘Changes’ version)

9. Ollie & Jerry – There’s No Stoppin’ Us

Okay, I was a huge break-dance fan when I was a kid and yes, I do have both movies on DVD. What’s not to like about this song!

8. The Sounds Of Blackness – Optimistic

An up-tempo RnB track with a message of never giving up!

7. Blackstreet – Joy

In my opinion, THE most beautiful song of all time. We played this for my sister at her funeral as they did for one of my friends when she passed away too. Watch the video, if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, nothing will!

6. Black Men United – You Will Know

The sound track for Jason’s Lyric with a great message to all men who get involved in violence!

5. Survivor – Eye Of The Tiger

Yes, of course it had to be in there! Still one of the best!

4. Florence + The Machine – You’ve Got The Love

A very recent cover of Candi Stanton’s original but I like this one even more for some reason, one of the best covers of all time!

3. James Brown – I Feel Good

You know you’ve pretended to be JB when this one comes on! Go on, admit it!

2. Guru Josh – Infinity

I believe everyone has a secret love affair with the saxophone. In the case of this track, it has not only a killer beat, but the sax just totally blows it away!

1. The Jackson 5 – Can You Feel It

In my opinion the greatest uplifting track of all time and still my personal favourite!

Did I miss any? What would you have added to the list? You can also check out this playlist on youtube

The concept of the attitude of gratitude is a powerful one and one I strongly believe in. I wish I could say I was a total avid practitioner but the truth is that it’s something I need to do a lot of work on. The philosophy of being grateful and having an attitude of gratitude is a wonderful stimulus for allowing the greater recognition and appreciation of opportunities as and when they arrive.

The only trouble with the concept of gratitude is the way in some people have interpreted the information. I’ve seen the idea of gratitude turn people into pussy cats cowering in a corner when the truth is that it is meant to take you in the opposite direction. An attitude of gratitude does not mean that you allow yourself to become a pushover to an individual or to a larger organisation. Be grateful for the challenge, but don’t turn a blind eye and turn away and try and find something else to be grateful for. No, no!

If someone steals your car are you supposed to look at your house and say ‘well at least I still have a house!’ That’s just insane! If someone steals your car then sure, be grateful the the police force helping you. If your company decides to take your bonuses away the do you just sit back and take it and be grateful that the sun is shining that day? Hell no! I believe gratitude is accepting the gift of the challenge and turning it into something that helps you grow. The growth itself is a demonstration of that gratitude. Be grateful for the challenge but don’t just sit back and placidly take it.

Taking Action

It’s almost a year ago since a drunk driver ploughed into the side of my car at 7am on a Sunday morning. He came at me from a side road and slammed into the passenger side of my car. I ended up doing a 180 turn and almost ended up in a ditch made by roadworks. Naturally, I was pissed off! I was composed though, and ready to get out of the car to confront the other driver. One man leapt from the car and ran away. The driver and the other passenger decided they wanted to escape!

There was no way I was going to let him get away with it. I remember actually saying that to myself out loud in the car ‘hell no, you aint getting away from me!’ During the pursuit I had to stop but luckily, just at that moment, a police car was passing and I managed to flag them down. The driver was now out of sight but the police managed to catch the drunk driver and charge him. Should I have just been grateful that I was okay and let the driver get away? Maybe, but personally, I don’t think that’s the way it’s meant to work. If there is an injustice, I believe you deal with it.

Gratitude Blackmail

In this economic climate, I’ve heard people saying ‘oh I’m grateful I still have a job’ or I hear employers saying ‘just be grateful you have a job’ and it, quite frankly, sucks! That statement is there to shrink people to enable easy submission. It’s a method of trying to control the masses. I’ve been saying to people take the opposite stance; show no fear over losing your job and it’s something they cannot hang over your head. I’m grateful for the challenge and the excitement of the unknown, but I won’t just take it and hope everything turns out okay.

The demonstration of gratitude I believe is growth. In order to grow I feel it’s necessary to ask better questions. When faced with a challenge I ask ‘how does this serve me?’ Or I might ask ‘how does this help me grow and move forward?’ I am grateful for the challenges always but I will not let the attitude of gratitude turn me into a mouse. Accept and be grateful for the challenges but do not become a pushover as a result of a poor understanding of a wonderful teaching.

I’m currently travelling around the USA and tomorrow I’ll be heading to Las Vegas. It’s my first trip there and if you’re a local maybe we can meet for a coffee. After that I’ll be off to India for a wedding and then after that I’ll be back to blogging away as usual.

In the mean time please do enjoy the following best of The Power Of Choice.

Settling Down

Going It Alone

Stuck And Not Sure What To Do With Life?