It’s been an interesting few days.

Firstly, a friend paid me a wonderful compliment and said to me, that she thought that I was one of the most honest people she’d ever met.

Then, a couple of days later, a blogger, who I hold in the highest regard, thought that I was being totally dishonest and completely deluding myself.

I think it’s safe to say I’m a paradox…oh yeah!

I actually think the blogger and I are on the same page but just presenting our beliefs very differently.

Regardless, it got me thinking about how I could be seen so differently in such a short space of time.

Then it struck me and I was brought back to all the lessons I’d learned about perception and projection.

Here are two individuals, seeing me completely differently. So who is right? The woman who thought I was honest? Or the blogger who thought I was being dishonest? The answer is neither. Both are projecting onto me either that which they are or desire but both ultimately have.

Think back to that old saying: – “It takes one to know one.” We all know how true that is. You cannot be aware of something that is not active within your subconscious.

Sometimes traits are reflected back negatively. I.e. you see something in others that you have/are but do not like.

Sometimes they are reflected back in the form of admiration. Ultimately though you do have that which you admire. If you see a great speaker, you have that within you. It would not come to the forefront of your mind without full awareness.

Just as I saw beauty in the aforementioned woman, it naturally must mean that I too must be exceptional in the ‘looks’ department!

If I were to tell you that I had met the Queen yesterday, when I clearly did not, that would be bullshit. If I tell you I believe that I am living the path of someone living consciously and you say that I’m being dishonest. That is projection. You are seeing me through your own perceptual awareness. Not through the eyes of truth.

Our definition of the term ‘Living Consciously’ could vary greatly. You may believe yours to be absolute and true, but it does not make it so.

So, a very short post, but I would love to hear your thoughts. How do you feel about the term, ‘perception is projection’? Do you believe, that which you see in me, you have, are or desire?

All opinions welcome.

It was Monday evening, I’d just had a shower and I started to get ready. I put on my Kung Fu Panda t-shirt, looked in the mirror and said to myself ‘here goes nothing!’

I grabbed my keys and left the house…then I went back to my house and realised it might not be a bad idea to put on some pants too.

Now that my wardrobe malfunction had been rectified I grabbed my comedy material, my pink fluffy handcuffs, (a prop…honest!) and jumped in my BMW. I sped away heading towards the centre of London, a place that still gives me a buzz.

I was driving along the Westway with the window down; I wanted to feel the wind in my hair. It wasn’t easy because I was only doing about 3mph due to all the road works! But when I passed those…I managed to put my foot down and surged to a whopping 7mph towards Edgware.

Through my entire journey I could feel the slight buzzing of the butterflies in my belly; a feeling I’d not had since the first time I did stand-up comedy. It’s a combination of nerves and excitement that makes a powerful cocktail. I feel sorry for people who’ve never had that kind of rush.

I weaved my way past the Ritz and headed towards Piccadilly Circus. I turned off and headed down to St James Sq. I started walking towards Leicester Sq and made a pit stop to grab a soya hot chocolate to ease my nerves.

I arrived at my destination but I was a tad bit early. I decided to take a stroll around the infamous Leicester Sq. and checked out all the sights. I saw the artists showcasing their latest caricatures. I saw ones of Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and the most handsome of them all…Prince Charles….just kidding.

So I finished my coco and walked up Oxendon Street and arrived outside The Comedy Store – London’s famous comedy venue where many a comedian have made a name for themselves.

I took a breath, walked in grabbed my ticket for the King Gong – A monthly competition where comedians, new and old can come and showcase their stuff. I was not billed to be on but I was determined to have a go!

I checked with the sound booth whether they were going to ask if anyone in the audience to have a go, and to my relief, they said yes! I was ecstatic but the butterflies doubled. I grabbed the only beverage strong enough to keep me relaxed in such a tense situation…a tap water…with ice! :-O

I was sat next to a man wearing a suit with a leopard skin design…it sort of put my Panda t-shirt to shame…and there was me thinking I was hip!

The King Gong show is the toughest event of it’s kind! I now know how wild west gunslingers used to feel just before showdown! The objective is to survive the stage for 5 minutes and beat the gong. During this time, if the 3 judges give you a red flag, you are finished! The crowd are allowed to heckle and jeer as much as they like.

The first act went on and barely lasted a minute. The second act went on and lasted just over a minute. The third, a minute and so on. They were blitzing through the 20 billed acts faster than I could blink!

Success! We reached the 7th act and he put the hecklers to shame and lasted the full 5 minutes with ease. A finalist at last! He was the homeless guy with the stolen suit…I’ll never forget that routine!

A couple more went on and didn’t get very far. Then the fantastic compare asked if anyone in the audience would like a go? I froze! Before I could escape my ice prison a man from Barbados called Nico went on. He again showed the hecklers a thing or two and lasted the full 5 minutes…they had another finalist!

The interval came and went and then the moment arrived again, they asked if anyone from the audience wanted a go! I leapt out from my seat and ran to the stage. I was strangely given a warm welcome and first few gags were greeted with both cheers and laughter. I could even hear the compare laughing in the other mic…the first time I’d heard him laugh all night!

I carried on my routine…I was into my second minute and for some reason, I’d gotten two red flags…the judges seemed to be the only ones who didn’t like me…and I hadn’t even done my fluffy handcuff gag! I carried on and gave it everything I had. I got my 3rd red flag before the gong.

I’d failed…and yet a bizarre thing happened as I started to walk of stage…the audience started to chant my name. Even the compare seemed shocked a bit surprised I’d gotten 3 reds. They wanted me to finish my set! Of course, that was against the rules and so I didn’t get to finish. But I walked off stage with a big grin on my face knowing that I’d reached the crowd in a way the other comedians had not.

I wasn’t a finalist, and the eventual winner, Melton, didn’t get a name chant! LOL (But he did get an awesome winning cheer!) I survived the longest of the non finalists and even though I didn’t win, I won over and wowed probably most fierce crowd I’ve ever seen…and here’s my secret…

…I showed up.

Okay, so why the picture of the two naked ladies with apples and what the heck does it have to do with jokes? Nothing, I was just shamelessly trying to get more visitors to this post…I was trying to convey the message like they do in those beer commercials…drink this and you could have lovely ladies all over you too!

Same with the title, how else was I going to get you to read this article?!

Anyway, I love jokes, they taste great! I always used to have a problem where I never could remember the jokes I was told. I would hear a joke and then try and tell it at a later date and then really screw it up. In fact, I pretty much, annihilated the whole joke and by the time I eventually got the punch line there was no one left around me to tell. (Some of my friends may argue that is still the case!)

I’m still not sure why, but I love making people laugh! It is a bit like a drug, a healthy drug, and the laughter acts like a magnet. When was the last time you laughed so much your ribs hurt? I don’t know about you but sometimes, the silliest of things, can still be the funniest!

I collated some of my favourite one-liner jokes to share with you as well as some gags for parties. I’m always sharing inspirational quotes but now I wanted to share some humour. These jokes are not my creation, so if I have not credited them and you own the joke, let me know who I’ve stolen it from…so I can rub it in further.

It’s great to have an arsenal of jokes ready like a belt full of Batman’s gadgets…they can be used anywhere and any time to break the ice. They are great at parties and you can even use some of this jokes if you’re giving a talk or a speech, or even just at the bar with your buddies…so you look like the cool one who everyone wants to be mates with. Another great way to attract imaginary ladies!

Without further ado, here are some great one liners…

1. I’m never wrong! One time, I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken!

2. I saw a man yesterday who was so bald I could see what he was thinking.

3. I’ve started going up to peoples doors and preaching about my new gym, it’s called Jehovah’s Fitness.

4. Statistically 6 out of 7 Dwarfs are not Happy.

5. A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.

6. Hedgehogs – why can’t they just share the hedge?

7. I moved into a bungalow recently. I was going to move into a house, but that’s another storey!

8. Do you know what really bugs me? Discreetly placed microphones…

9. Yesterday, my girlfriend said she needed to take a break from me…so I gave her a Kit Kat

10. I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer to wash my face.

Since you’ve read this far I’m going to throw in the bonus of giving you my favourite chat up lines…

1. Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?

2. Is your name Summer? ‘Coz you’re HOT!

Further Bonus: Woah, you’ve come a long way to being an absolute stud or studette! So to complete your transformation, learn these following jokes or keep others like them in your arsenal, and you are sure to become a sex machine!

1. Doctor: “I’m going to have to pull the plug on your son. Mother: “Why, I thought you said he was perfectly healthy?” Doctor: Oh I did but his bath is overflowing.

2. A woman was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the medical expertise of a sex therapist. Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang. So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said ‘OK take off all your crose.’ The woman did as she was told. ‘Now get down and craw reery, reery fass to odder side of room.’ Again the woman did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said ‘OK, now craw reery, reery fass back to me.’ So she did. Dr.Chang shook his head slowly and said ‘Your probrem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary diease…..Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates.’ Worried the woman asked anxiously ‘Oh my God Dr.Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?’ Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied…. ….’Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass.’

3. TEACHER: If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven Sir. Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven! Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 cats, and another 2 cats and another 2, how many will you have? Johnny: Seven!! Very angry Teacher: Where the heck are you getting 7 from?! Very angry Johnny: Because I have one at home sir!!

I love London in the summer. There is so much to see and do. One of my favourite London landmarks is the lions at Trafalgar Square surrounding Nelsons Column.

I go there often and just enjoy watching the hustle and bustle of the tourists and soaking up the atmosphere!

Even though I’ve lived in London for better part of 20 years, there was a point a few years back when I was there and I realised that I’ve never ever climbed onto the lions!

It’s a massive tourist attraction and people come from all over the world to climb them and take pictures with their friends and family!

So I tried to climb and I realised it was a bit harder than it looked. I’m a heavy chap and there was no way my friend could’ve given me a leg-up. Besides, I was determined to find a way to do it by myself and after several bruised knees and a battered ego, I finally succeeded!

I found the technique that meant I could do it, at any time, by myself! It was a tough journey, there were moments I wanted to forget, like the one below were it looked like I was humping the poor lion.

You should've seen the look on the lions face!

After several hours of therapy, the lion agreed to let me try again! I then realised that with a run up and using it’s tail to spring off, I could get enough grip and leverage to pull myself up. So, if you don’t have help, take a run up, and use the tail as the first step. Then the second step up the lions backside should give you enough grip to pull yourself up.

Using the tail to climb with a run up

Voila! You’ll be at the top of the lions! It’s a great feeling when you finally make it up, kind of like climbing Mt Everest, only not so high.

Success!

Once you’re up you can help others up and just sit back and enjoy the great view!

Lay back and relax

Are you planning on coming to London? If so let me know. Go and visit the lions and I may even come and join you.

A huge thanks to Pilgab for the great photo!

Last year when I was doing the breakfast show at Westside Radio my co-host, Chloe and I decided to do a wind up on her mum.

Although I used to enjoy hearing my favourite DJ’s doing a wind up I wasn’t keen to do it on my own show.

In that moment though I thought why not and lets just pray her mum takes it with the humour with which it was intended.

So for a bit of Friday fun I thought I’d post the wind up here as a pod-cast you can listen to.

We had all sorts of trouble getting through to her mum. Every time we called the phone was either busy or it went to answer phone. We persisted for a whole hour and eventually we got through to her.

To set the scene I was posing as a police officer and I had arrested my co-host for a small crime. I’m one of these people who has trouble controlling their laughter and throughout the whole time I just wanted to burst out laughing!

Somehow I managed to hold it together but Chloe was in the background totally losing the plot. She almost had to leave the room and especially the point where her mum said she didn’t drink milk and when I said I blamed the parents!

Press play:

After that I got a bit of a taste for the wind up and so I started calling up this call centre regularly and making strange requests.

They took in good spirit but eventually they decided to start getting their own back on us at the studio and they started ringing us to do wind-ups on us. It didn’t work of course; we were way to smart for that! *ahem*

What’s the best wind up you’ve ever done or the funniest one that’s ever been done on you?

Editors Note: This is a fantastic guest post by Barrie Davenport of Live Bold and Bloom

There is no better cure for a bad mood than laughter. Not just a little giggle, but side-splitting, milk-coming-out-of-your nose, hard-to-breath laughter. It’s like having an emotional colonic. Cleans out all of the stuff and purifies the soul. It’s hard not to feel better after a convulsion of hysterical laughter.

When I want to laugh like that, there are a couple of friends I always call. Within minutes, we can hardly speak because the tears are rolling, noses are running, and our breath is coming in short pants!

In my own blog, I write frequently about how to find sustained happiness. This kind of happiness involves a shift in perspective and sometimes a lifestyle overhaul. Laughter, and the cleansing joy that it provides, should be a daily ritual that contributes to sustained happiness. Like a spoon full of sugar, it helps the medicine go down.

But sometimes spontaneous laughter eludes us. Stress, hormones, depression, boredom, and many other factors, can put us in a funk that makes it nearly impossible to feel the faintest bit jocular. I was feeling that way when I started my research for this post. After looking at dozens of laugh-out-loud blogs, I don’t even remember why I was feeling dreary.

So, do you want to laugh? I mean really, really laugh? Here are some hilarious blogs that you can check out when you are ready for the big guffaw. Warning: have tissues and water ready.

1. Hyperbole and a Half

This is my all-time favorite. It’s written by Allie (no last name provided), who happens to be a stunningly beautiful girl. Even as I was pasting the link, I had to stop and read this woman’s latest post. She has these crazy little cartoon drawings to illustrate the workings of her bizarrely humorous mind. Two of my favorite posts are the story of how a fish almost destroyed her childhood (fish story), and the dinosaur goose incident. If you don’t die laughing, there is something wrong with you.

2. Crabby Old Fart

Don Mills is the crabby old fart in question. He epitomizes the word “curmudgeon” — but with wit. He hates young people and bloviates on every possible youthful offence with side-splittingly funny, politically incorrect satire. His topic categories are titled: “Top Problems with Young People”. The topics are drugs, piercings, rap music, sex and tattoos. You get the picture. I love his post called “God Damned Boy Scouts Have Gone to Hell in a Hand-Cart“.

3. Awkward Family Photos

Pictures speak louder than words, and they often make you laugh harder. Childhood friends Mike and Doug started this blog after finding awkward family photos lurking around their own family homes. Now they have a cult following of people sending in some of the sickest, strangest photos I’ve ever seen. Really great fun. Send them one of your own!

4. Olga, The Traveling Bra

This is a blog about a sexy, black bra that travels around the world and appears in the strangest places. Like that little garden gnome. Olga has many exciting adventures, and she wants to keep you abreast of them. You will find this blog quite titillating and very funny!

5. Cake Wrecks

When professional cakes go horribly wrong, according to Jen, the Cake Wreck creator. I was leery when I first saw this blog, but like a wreck — it’s hard to tear your eyes away. There are some really hysterical cake mistakes that make you wonder whether cake decorators actually need to read and write in order to get the job. Jen’s wit is — well, the icing on the cake!

6. I Do Things So You Don’t Have To

Is the title intriguing or what? What does she do? Will she clean out my cat box? Will she go in the fitting room for me so I don’t have to see my butt in the three-way mirror? The mysterious J.D. (again, no real name given), is sort of like that guy on TV who does all the nasty jobs that no one else wants to do. J.D. does this and more, and then writes about it for our benefit. She’s eaten a bacon candy bar, vacuumed her hair, and played nude Casino. Now you don’t have to. Darn.

7. Passive Aggressive Notes

A blog where other people’s dysfunctional missives become the fodder for public entertainment. This blog features “painfully polite and hysterically hostile writings from shared spaces the world over.” This is the stuff that we don’t have the guts to say out loud to people, so we plaster it up publicly for the entire world to read. Weirdly, it’s so snarky that it’s really funny.

8. I Can Has Cheez Burger

If you are one of the three people left in the world who hasn’t seen these kooky cats and the wicked captions with the photos, that’s a cat-tastrophe. These are cool cats with attitude — sort of a cross between 1950′s beatnik cat meets urban funk cat. You don’t have to be a cat person to find these kittie ditties funny.

9. Probably Bad News

Mostly, it’s just really bad headlines. Like, “Report: Landis Admits Doping and Fingers Armstrong” or “Men with Weapons Cited for Chasing Squirrels”. These must be written by witty reporters who either have no supervision whatsoever, or they have no sense of humor and don’t realize how ridiculous or perverted some of these headlines sound. Either way, it’s great stuff.

10. There I Fixed It

This is taking the old Band Aid-to-fix-broken-eyeglasses trick to the extreme. My son once created something we called “The Polish Taxi”. He duct-taped two skateboards to a plastic chair and had his friends pull him around behind their bikes. This clever blog extrapolates this creative theme with some pretty wild fix-ups and inventions. Laugh-out-loud funny photos.

11. Avoid This Job

This blog is similar in concept to Probably Bad News. But instead of news stories, they feature job advertisements. I love this one: “Dwarf Wanted for Oompa Loompa Position”. How do people find these things? Maybe there was a job listing that read: “Person with Nothing Better to Do Wanted to Scour Job Listings for Stupid Job Titles”. I’m glad there is such a person, because it’s a really funny blog.

12. Unnecessary Quotes

This is a blog about — guess what??– “unnecessary quotes”. Just like those. The really funny part of this blog is the commentary by Bethany Keeley, the writer for the site. It’s amazing how many ways people can misuse quotation marks, and how something so inane could be so funny.

13. Fail Blog

The tagline for this blog is “helping you feel better about yourself every day.” After you view the photos on this blog, you will definitely feel better about yourself. These hysterical photos capture something very, very — wrong. Take a look. You’ll see what I mean.

14. I Love You, But

All you will see on this blog is caricature drawings of men and women. When you click on a face, you’ll find out the “but” that comes after “I love you”. Plenty of great reasons why some relationships don’t work out. Really witty.

15. Cracked

This is the Superstore of humor blogs. It’s a compilation of articles and videos from regular contributors, as well as submissions from readers. There’s something for everyone here. You could spend a day trolling around and laughing until you fall out of your chair and hyperventilate. When you want heavy doses of laughter, this is the place to go.

Since Amit is a comedian, among many other things, I’m sure he has some blogs to add to the list. I hope you do too. So please include them in the comments so we all can share a laugh.

I hope you enjoy lots of laughs and many happy hours surfing these blogs !

Barrie Davenport is a life and career coach and the founder of Live Bold and Bloom, a blog about bold and fearless living.

As you know comedy is now part of my soul. I consciously devise ways of being funny through doing stand-up as well at just doing, off the cuff, random funny stuff or writing some bizarre articles.

It’s also wonderful to see my fellow bloggers out there and encouraging the world to laugh more.

In the spirit of bringing more laughter to the world I’ve decided to give away two tickets to my next comedy night, Humili-Asian, which is on the 29th of May 2010. It’s going to be an awesome night and even though the headline act couldn’t make it we’ve found an even better replacement!

Unfortunately, if you’re from outside the UK, I can’t throw in 2 flights to compliment the two comedy tickets, but maybe one day in the future I’ll be in a position to do that. But, if you’re in or around London then you’re in the coolest place in the world and can come along.

To enter it’s simple:

1. Sign up to get FREE updates to the blog. You can also get my FREE ebook by signing up too.

2. Once you’ve done that, leave a witty comment, joke, limerick, below and the best one wins the tickets. Go on, do it and give us all a chuckle.

Simples!

P.S. remember that even if you don’t win you can buy tickets. Get them quick, there’s only a limited amount left!

P.P.S. The closing date is Friday the 21st of May.

With Bollywood becoming ever more popular, and Hollywood actors also taking a splash into the biggest film market in the world, I thought I’d put together my tutorial of how to make it in a Bollywood flick as a dancer. After all, I’ve done comedy, radio and coaching so I thought ‘Heck, why not give dancing a go too!’

There are many dancing shows around too like: Dancing on Ice; Dancing with the Stars; Strictly Come Dancing; So You Think You Can Dance etc. Then the thought occurred to me that there wasn’t one for Bollywood yet! Then it hit me, why not get a tutorial ready just in case one does happen to come along!

There are certain special characteristics that you need like you need a certain amount of natural flare, grace and dignity…all of which are included in my instructional video.

At school I got given an award for Bollywood dancing which I still have to this day. I’m very proud of that accomplishment and will treasure that trophy forever. Without further ado, lets get down to it as I can tell you’re dying to try it out for yourself.

Enjoy the video!

Review of Instructions

1. Find a sturdy tree to dance around. (The bigger the better!)
2. Pretend that tree is your long lost love. (Lets all hug a tree!)
3. Throw in some poor quality filming. (It adds to the authenticity.)
4. Act all coy and shy like you’ve never been touched. (Modesty is attractive.)
5. Do some moves like screwing in light bulbs or picking cherries from trees. (Seriously.)
6. Flick your eyebrows and do give some enticing looks with your eyes. (The one eyebrow lift is very seductive.)
7. Find a beautiful stranger to compliment your video. (Be sure they oblige.)

There we have it. You too could be entering Bollywood by following my simple yet powerful tutorial on dancing Bollywood style!

When I was a kid Saturday evenings were my favourite night of the week. It was because my two favourite T.V. shows would be on. The first was Knight Rider. I think that every boy who ever saw Knight Rider always wanted a KITT of his own!

I think secretly even now, the young men from my generation, despite the fact we’ve all grown up, we all still treat our cars as if it is our very own personal KITT. I actually have the KITT app on my iPhone which has the KITT voices and even the KITT dash! Will I ever grow out of it? Probably not!

The other program was the A-Team. Who could ever forget about that crack commando unit that was sent to prison, for a crime they didn’t commit? When you had a problem, and you didn’t have anywhere else to go, you called the A-Team!

They worked together as a unit and each of the team had some unique skill that they brought to the table. It was because of each of those unique skills that they were such an unstoppable force and were able to combat and defeat all of their foes.

The combination of all those skills created four unshakeable pillars. Am I saying you should assemble your own crack commando unit? Well if you want to, but I’m talking about cultivating each of those skills so that you become an elite unit, all on your own.

Here are those skills:

1. Hannibal – The Man With The Plan (Who Liked It When A Plan Came Together)

Hannibal was the man with the plan. He was the leader who had the ideas. When there was a problem and they faced an intelligent foe, there was no doubt that Hannibal would come up with a plan smarter than his enemies. The others listened to him and no matter what he was up against he would be creative and think outside the box.

Do you have the skills to lead? Be a great mind that doesn’t think alike. Get a cigar as well to look really cool.

2. Face – The Man With The Charm (Who Got All The Ladies Too)

Face was the man who used his charm to acquire all the information that he from any situation. He knew all the right buttons to push so he could get the intel that would allow the team to formulate the right plan. He had charm, style and could pretty much convince anyone of anything. He could sell his story no matter where he was.

Are you able to sell yourself in the right way? Be a charming seller that doesn’t need to push. Hair that you can flick, is a bonus.

3. Howling Mad Murdoch – The Man With The Know-How (Who Was A Bit Nuts)

Murdoch was the man with the technical know-how and he also added the element of unpredictability. Whenever the A-Team needed any resources to support their campaign he knew exactly of how and where to get it. He wouldn’t just think outside the box, he would stamp on the box, tear it to shreds and then make something else completely that didn’t even resemble a box.

Do you know where you can get whatever it is that you need? Be resourceful and know where to look. Occasionally, just blow the box up!

4. B.A. Baracus – The Man With The Strength (Who Was Also Pretty Good Behind The Wheel)

When it came down to it B.A. was the warrior of the group. He was the man who would take the fight to his enemies. He could take a punch and then he could keep on coming. He had no fear (well, except flying) and was always ready to fight for those who needed his help.

Do you stand and fight or do you cower away? When you get knocked down, learn how to get back up. Wear some bling too!

Are you feeling like that elite commando unit yet? If not, here’s the trailer of the new A-Team movie to help!

I love the world of personal development. It’s kind of becoming a internet home away from home. I like to keep it fun and interesting so I compiled a list of ways you can do that too…Urrr, well sort of. Enjoy!

1. Finger Dexterity

Ok, you have to do this one! Buy one of these remote control cars! It was the best £8 I’ve ever spent and I’ve had hours of fun! My friend and I both bought one and had some wacky races while the cat was trying to swipe at the cars. Roadblock! What has that got to do with personal development I hear you ask? Um, nothing; but they’re so much fun!

2. Be Bold

Break out of your comfort zone and do something on your own. It’s been a while since I’ve tried anything new on my own so I’m going to research and see what sounds fun to me! I like going to the movies alone. Because I’m big and tall I like to stretch out on the seats for comfort and also no one can steal my popcorn or nachos! Hands off!

3. Step out of your mind

I was driving along one day and stuck in some traffic but I was really getting into the songs on the radio. I was dancing away in my seat whilst and singing away at the top of my voice when I noticed that the people at the bus stop next to me were giving me weird looks. Bah! I didn’t care, I just carried on. It’s a good test to yourself to see if you can really be you and not care what people think.

4. Open Your Eyes

Engage in other bloggers discussions and of different areas to expand your horizons. My fellow DJ and blogger friend Rudey put up this post about changes to a popular radio station that has become even more commercial. I felt quite strongly about that so I decided to have my say.

5. You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’

Begin a movement like Pay It Forward or start a new trend that becomes the next big thing. I’ll be putting up an idea I’ve had for a while on Tuesday so come back then to check it out

6. Once Upon A Thyme

Write a short story or comedy sketch. My comedy friends and I have started filming some sketches and I begun to write some too. It’s actually a huge challenge and it’s given me an new found appreciation for the comedy writers of my favourite shows like Scrubs. Or just stare in the distance and really look like you’re in deep thought.

7. It’s Snow Joke

Make up a joke. Have you ever tried? It’s not as easy as it sounds. I’ve get forwarded jokes as text messages and email all the time and I always wonder who made them up? They’re geniuses!

8. The Driving ‘Ologies

Because of all the recent ice and snow I decided to take my car to a frozen car park and improve my driving skills. Smell that? Yep, it’s bullpoop! I just wanted to do loads of doughnuts and power-slides like the fast and furious bunch but I’m sure that somehow helped to improve my driving and overall personal development. What? It does!

9. Living In A Box

Think outside the box when it comes to starting a new hobby. I’m going to try snowboarding soon and with all the snow we’ve had in the UK lately that soon may be the sensible transport option. Power snowboards; now there’s a business idea! I’m also going to go and drive and Aston Martin around a track! VaVa Voom!

10. Blogjour

When speaking to foreigners get them to teach you something in their language. Recently I’ve been meeting more and more Polish people so I thought why not learn how to speak it from them. Jinkoya! (It means thank you.)

11. Precision Snaps

Take funny and cute pictures of your pet and post them up; maybe add some zen or poetry. It’s not easy capturing them at the right moment! See what other great moments you can capture like what Storm Troopers do on their day off.

12. Are You For Real?

Play a prank on someone. When I was hosting the breakfast show, we prank-called my co-hosts mum. I told her I was a Policeman who’d arrested her daughter for stealing milk from a milk float. Her mum was naturally a bit shocked but she said: “It’s so odd for her to steal milk as she doesn’t drink it!” I was on the brink of bursting out laughing but I somehow held it together! How does that relate to personal development? Wait lemme think…oh yes, it improved my bluffing skills for poker…yeah that’s it.

13. Hold ‘Em Or Fold ‘Em

Start a poker night with friends. My friends and I usually play poker once a week and we not only have collosus fun but we also end up having some incredible banter. Through poker I’ve had some great insights into the mysteries of life.

14. Physical Development

Buy a copy of the Karma Sutra. It’s a thoroughly riveting read. Get your partner to ‘test’ you on the knowledge! *Looks around nonchalantly*

15. Mirror, Signal, Manoeuvre

Take a random road trip and visit a place you’ve never been too before. Or, go and surprise someone you’ve not seen in a while that may have popped into your mind recently. Maybe there’s a reason you thought of them!

16. Think Like A Yellow Fellow

What would Homer do? Think of ways Homer Simpson would handle your Personal DUFFelvopment (or DOHvelopment) challenges. *Waits for groans*

17. Lights, Camera, Jackman

Start planning a movie of your life. If you were going to choose who would play you in the movie who would it be? In my case it would probably have to be Hugh Jackman ‘coz he’s the only one who comes close to my rugged good looks…and that’s only if I wasn’t available for filming.

18. Playground Games

Remember how you used to play ‘tag’ at school in the playground? Lets invent blog tag and right now, you’re it!

19. Who Nose

Enter a horse race on a donkey. Who knows, all the other horses might stumble at the starting gate in which case you’d win on a donkey…just think of the publicity! And no, you wouldn’t look like a jackass. (I think I was thinking about number three when I wrote this one!)

20. Oh No He Didn’t

There’s nothing quite like starting a discussion on a controversial topic. Don’t stay in the middle ground. Pick a side of the fence and get ready to defend; on guard!

21. Yaw Turn

Write your own list of 21 ways of making personal development truly more orgasmic! What makes it more orgasmic for you?

Yes ladies, I know what you’re thinking, who is that muscular, sweaty, handsome devil in the picture? Yes it’s me so please can you control your hormones, I’m single and available! I’ll explain later why I put this particular picture up but for now I just want to ask you a couple of simple questions.

To the guys and gals – are you single? If so do you realise how good you have it? Or are you feeling miserable and do you often spend time fantasizing about having a partner just like your friends or the couples you see on the street? Do you waste the precious moments of your single life worrying about being left on the shelf? Flirting is good for the soul so if you’ve been single for a long time then this is just the article for you!

The Love Doctor

Before I go any further I wanted to mention that a big shift occurred for me when I discovered David DeAngelo. I just want to make it clear at this point that I don’t get paid to promote him and he probably doesn’t even know who I am. I’m just so grateful I discovered his work because it helped me get to grips with an area of my life I always struggled with. If you don’t already, subscribe to his news letter! I learned SO much just from reading them.

Single-hood Is Precious

As a single person you may not realise just how good you have it. Most single people are so caught up in self pity that precious opportunities pass them by and they don’t even realise it. Whatever your situation right now you are in exactly the right place you are supposed to be in but, going forward, you control what happens.

I used to be so bad at asking women out. I got lucky a few times but overall I was pretty bad at it and more often than not I was rejected and dejected over and over again. Being rejected is not nice but I’ll explain later how I turned things around. I still get rejected, and probably more often, but that’s because I try more often without the fear of rejection.

I once wrote an article called ‘One For The Nice Guys’ and I take back every single word I wrote on there! I was wrong and I’ve realised the error of my ways. If I knew then what I know now I would most likely be in a very different place. At this present moment I’m a bachelor, I love dating, meeting new people, and just having some fun along the way!

Date Like There’s No Tomorrow!

I used to get really depressed about being single but now I love it. I’m not saying I want to stay single but I recognise now how lucky I am. Yes I’m looking for someone I can share my life with, but on that journey, I’d like to have some fun and give women enjoyable experiences that they’ll remember for a long time to come! (Stop thinking naughty thoughts!)

If you’re single you can go on as many dates as you want and enjoy being flirtatious anywhere! (I’m a believer that just because you have a partner it doesn’t mean you can’t still flirt!) If you feel you need help in that area then keep reading and I’ll give you more suggestions about how to get good at it. In fact, I’ll be writing more posts on my dating tips.

Appearance

Ah now we come to the reason I put up that picture! A picture of me not looking so pretty and with sweaty pits? Why on earth would I put up a picture like that if I’m trying to attract women? It’s simple. I did because I know that women don’t really care what a guy looks like. If you can make her laugh, whilst being a confident, then any guy has the golden ticket to being a stud!

I used to be so worried about my weight and the way I looked that I made up a whole bunch of crappy limiting beliefs as to why women didn’t want to go out with me. I used to think it was about my weight, and how I looked, and those beliefs held me back for years. Now, no matter what anyone else thinks about me, I believe I’m handsome, sexy (despite the sweaty pits) and great fun to be with!

My rejections had nothing to do with the way I looked or my weight and everything to do with the way I did it. However it doesn’t hurt to make a bit of an effort. I do like to dress smart and women appreciate that but it isn’t the bottom line. I have got a date in the past whilst in my sports gear and looking like I’d just wrestled an alligator! (And lost!)

Get A Cool Attitude

I used to always came across as single, needy and clingy and that is definitely a big turn off. If you can learn to be more fun in your approach and not take rejection too seriously then you will come across as more attractive. In the beginning, the more you try, the more you’ll get rejected. It’s just the law of averages but as you get better at it you will get more yes’s than ‘no, please can you leave me alone and stop stalking me’!

If you’re not having luck then something needs to change. Change your approach and learn to have more fun in the process. If you get nervous approaching people then practise is all you need and you can start with your friends. Do a role play with a friend and see what they think. I was with my friend in the car the other day and I told her how I’d approach her if I was going to ask her out. Her response? ‘Smooth and I probably would’ve said yes!’

How To Handle Rejection

I’ve been rejected plenty and I remember how that used to make me feel in the past. I used to shut myself away but then I’d be a friend to the person who rejected me in the secret hope that they would see the kind of person I am and then fall hopelessly in love with me! Now my solution is simple; move on! If you get hung up on just one person then you’re missing out on millions of people who are single and looking.

If you’re feeling bad after being rejected the prime reason is simply that you’ve pinned your hopes on that one person. When you awaken to the idea that there’s an entire planet of single people out there you start to realise that, in the grand scheme of things, one rejection means nothing.

I turn things around and make it sound like the other person is asking me out. That way if things don’t go well I can playfully make out that it was me doing the rejecting. I may try a second time at a later stage but if the rejection happens I remind myself that they were not intelligent enough to recognise a smart, sexy, spiritual, fun person was here for the taking and that they missed out.

Some Things To Remember

1. If you’re single and you’ve been single a while get some feedback from friends to find out what you’re doing wrong. Then get yourself out there and start meeting women/men

2. Don’t just do the usual things for dates. Start with maybe a coffee and build from there. Then come up with imaginative things to do or places to go. Sometimes it’s not where you take them but what you do while you’re there. Something like walking on the beach can be a great place to have a date.

3. If you struggle to converse while on a date play some games. Have fun, play slaps, thumb wrestle or even truth or dare. Even the lack of conversation can be a topic to discuss. If you run out of things to say you can say something like ‘What do you normally talk about when you run of things to say to people?’

4. Engage in playful banter. When I’m on a date with a woman I might make fun out of whatever she’s wearing or, if I’m feeling particularly brave, and I know things are going well, I might make fun of the size of her butt!

5. Remember; you’re not going to get along with everyone so don’t worry if it doesn’t go well. Move on. Put yourself back out there meeting people and then have another go! Learn from the last experience and use it for future dates.

I could go on for hours on this subject now but I’ll leave it there and I’ll be back with more tips for all the single people out there. I have tons to share and upon seeing my success more and more people are coming to me asking me how I do it. Have fun and make the most of the time you’re single ‘coz soon you’ll have a partner who wants to go shopping all the time and will hog the duvet during the winter…brrrrr!

Badminton is quite simply one of the most awesome sports you can play.

I used to play at college and gave up once I started working. Nearly 10 years ago I took it up again casually and about 3 years ago I decided I wanted to take it more seriously.

I now play up to 4 times a week and I can’t think of a more fun way to spend my free time whilst getting fit!

Are you a bit bored? Do you often just end up going home and vegging on the couch after a hard days work? Are you stuck and not sure what to do with life?

Do you wish you had a way to get fit, have fun, vent your frustrations, and make some friends all in one go? If so, here are 10 reasons why I think you should put down that bowl of ready-made noodles and that can of duff beer and find yourself a local badminton club to join!

1. Fun Fun Fun!

Badminton is organised fun for cool people. In fact we may just have to check out how cool you are before we let you join the club. If you aint cool we’ll put you through a coolness program first and then you might get to play if you pass the stringent tests that we have.

Okay, calm down I’m just kidding, but badminton is seriously great fun. You can play singles if you wish, to increase your fitness, or you can play doubles if you want to have a bit more fun. It’s definitely more fun than Squash and unlike Tennis you can play all year around!

2. Social

If you join a club what you’ll find is that you’ll be off court occasionally. During the times you’re off court you’ll get to mingle, socialise and make loads of new friends. Or, if you’re a crazy ass mofo like me you can get a skipping rope and skip to keep the sweat going!

3. Pace

Badminton is the fastest racquet sport in the world bar none! Experienced players can smash the shuttle at speeds of over 200mph. When you learn to return those kinds of shots you get a serious rush! Just be warned though if a shot like that hits you in the head, you’ll walk around looking like you’re being targeted with a sniper rifle for a while!

4. Reflexes

With great power comes great responsibility and with badminton you will develop lightening quick reflexes. Because of badminton I once caught a mug full of coffee after I pushed it off the table; without spilling a drop!! It was totally surreal. Like that scene from Spiderman. Only I didn’t have Mary-Jane on my lap!

5. Fitness

If you like to sweat then badminton is for you! Yes you! With badminton you burn off the equivalent of a chocolate bar every 30 minutes or so. I’m not suggesting you eat a chocolate bar every 30 minutes to make sure you don’t waste away though! To see how much exactly you burn check out this table of stats. For someone like me, a 270lb’er who plays for 3 hours at a time, I could eat a horse every hour and still not worry about it going to my thighs or buttocks.

6. Agility

With badminton you have to learn to get from one side of the court to the other extremely quickly and so after a while you develop the agility of a cat. Meow!

7. Competition

You can keep it a strictly social thing but if you like to be compeitive then chances are your club might be part of a league. If so you’ll get to compete against other clubs and kick some ass and do some victory dances that you and your team mates have made up. I recommend the conga or the locomotion!

8. Cost

Badminton isn’t the cheapest sport but it doesn’t really break the bank either. The biggest cost is usually the shuttles. When you join a club the cost of the shuttles may be included and so you may not even notice your wallet get lighter.

9. Spectating

I’m not really one for living life as a spectator but badminton is one sport I could happily watch for hours. There are tournaments all year round, big and small so have a look around and also get yourself down to the All England if you’re in the UK.

10. Skills

Whilst also learning to hit the shuttle at speeds that would even make a red Ferrari blush and resemble a slug, you will also develop the softest touch. You will be able to just drop the shuttle over the net so it trickles over and hits the ground quicker than your opponent can say ‘ZOIKS SCOOBY’! Just check this clip of Peter Gade and his legendary trick shot. So COOL!

If you’re not sold on Badminton yet then I hear knitting is making a comeback!

Watch the trailer below, it looks like it’s going to be an awesome movie!

So who thinks I have star quality?

I’m what I would class as a spiritual individual but I also happen to love dirty jokes just as much as anyone else. Just because people don’t often get to see all sides of me they get shocked when they learn new things about me.

I know some people only know me from what they I put out there from this blog so when they hear me tell a dirty joke they get a bit shocked! They think that I should behave in a spiritual manner according to their model of the world at all times.

On the flip side there are people who only know me for my comedy side in which I often do dirty jokes and so when they hear me get a bit serious and ‘spiritual’ they’re not sure whether to take me seriously.

It’s a bit frustrating at times but I’ve now got to a point where I’m comfortable enough to shake my tooshy while meditating and people can think what they like about me! So can those two personality types live together in harmony?

I’ve met people who, when they enter the spiritual or personal development path, seem to get incredibly serious and it starts to dominate their life.

It’s like they’ve permanently had a broomstick shoved up their rectum; hmmm maybe that’s why they sit so straight when they meditate. Or it’s like they’ve had some kind of fun-ectomy.

I’m not going to sit here and judge those people but I’ve been in that position before and I know now how fake it was for me.

I had to shield that fun-loving part of myself because I thought I was supposed to be a certain way and that spiritual individuals conducted themselves a certain way. I was locked in a cage and I’ve finally set myself free from all that rubbish.

In my opinion yes you can still be classed as someone who is spiritual and deep and still love the most shallow mindless sex jokes possible! If you ask me, laughter is sacred and it’s something we don’t do enough of.

I heard that statistic a long time ago that on average a baby laughs 300 times a day and as adults we only laugh 15!

There’s even a type of Laughter Yoga that you can get into. Laughter can be so energising and healing so I think it’s the perfect time to let out your inner laughing Buddha.

Don’t be embarrassed to laugh at those racist, sexist jokes that float around. Just because you laugh it doesn’t mean it defines who you are.

I’m not always in the mood to be spiritual and deep. Sometimes all I do is watch comedies and just laze around. Other times I go into my zen mode where I’m doing, acting and thinking like Tibetan monk sipping herb tea.

There are just too many facets to this personality for them all to emerge at once so when I do get into a particular mood I just go with the flow.

So are spirituality and dirty jokes mutually exclusive? Absolutely not! They may not always emerge at the same time but it’s definitely the case whereby they can occupy the same space at different times.

Whoever you choose to be; be true to yourself. Don’t just be a certain way because you think that’s the ‘right’ way to be. Be it because you choose to be and it feels natural to you.

On that note I’m going to leave with you with a dirty joke someone told me the other day.

A man was sitting at a bar and ordered a pint of Guinness which the bartender gave him. The man downed it in one go! The bartender said:
“Crickey guv’nor! Lemme guess, woman troubles?”
“Yep I caught my wife in bed with my best friend!”
“Sorry to hear that mate, what did you say to her?”
“I told her to pack her bags and get the hell out of my house!”
“Good on ya! What did you say to your best mate?”
“I said – Bad dog!!”

:lol::lol:

UPDATE: I’ve included a clip from my performance at the last Humili-Asian comedy gig I did so enjoy!

1. Don’t expect to be supercharged all the time. It’s okay to feel tired sometimes. You’re only human and when you’re tired just go with it. Learn how to best ‘recharge’ yourself.

2. Don’t worry if you feel down now and again. It’s okay as you’re only human and the times you’re down help you appreciate the times when you’re feeling good. If you’re feeling down just go with it and know that it’ll pass when you’re ready to move on.

3. Don’t worry if you’re not always right every time. It’s okay to get it wrong once in a while. That’s all part of learning and growing. Don’t beat yourself up when it does happen; just find a way to move on quickly!

4. Don’t worry if you don’t always look your best. It’s okay to be a scruff bag once in a while. It’s the perfect time to get in the zone where you don’t care what other people think. After being scruffy you kind of appreciate yourself more when you look good.

5. Don’t curse yourself when you get ill once in a while. You’re only human and no matter how healthy you are the odd cold or flu bug is going to come and get you! Chill out! Make the most of it. Catch up on your favourite show or enjoy the part where your voice goes all croaky and sexy. Leave you friends some cool voice mails!

6. Don’t become a robot. Allow people to see your human side. If you’re too much of a robot people will no longer be able to relate to you and that’s not a good thing. Let people see the real you and don’t get caught up in the trap of being Mr or Mrs perfect all the time.

7. Gurus still burp and fart too you know! Wind is good! Don’t be shy and just let rip once in a while! Gas will be eternally funny and so you never know who you might cheer up with the occasional passing of wind!

8. Don’t be passive and let people walk over you! Sometimes you’ve got to just step up and tell people how you feel! Trust me when I say keeping it in is worse than trying to rationalize it with new age mumbo jumbo inner talk and bottling it up. You can do all of that and learn later.

9. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Most people can spot a fake a mile off. Just be yourself for that moment. ‘Yourself’ is a loose term and it can change but in that moment don’t fake it. You are who you are!

10. Sometimes there is no substitute for chocolate and ice cream when things aren’t going great. Don’t get me wrong, apples and banana’s maybe good for you but there’s something special about chocolate and ice cream that can’t be beaten. The odd occasional treat is okay!