Do you want to be the one who gets the Job? Do you want to be the one that people are drawn to and want to get to know? Do you just stick with the daily status quo and are you ready for a change? Are you frustrated that other people are getting the opportunities and not you?

In an increasingly competitive global structure it’s now more important than ever to find that something within you that makes you stand out from everyone else. Truth be told though I’m not a fan of the competitive mindset. I prefer to think of it as being the best me that I can be in a given situation.

Dealing With Competition

I don’t really want to compete with other people because that takes my focus off me and I end up getting caught up in a whirlwind of unproductive emotions. I won’t lie. I am naturally quite competitive but I can say from experience, with zero doubt, that it affects my overall performance and not in a good way.

If you’ve put yourself in a situation whereby you work for a company with thousands and thousands of employee’s then, of course, automatically you’re in a position where you have to really think outside the box in order to get ahead. If you want to move up the ranks faster work for a smaller company; you’ll move up the ranks much quicker.

If it’s a promotion you’re after sometimes it will come to you and sometimes you have to go to it. That’s one scenario of many but if you want to be able to network better, be the girl/guy that everyone wants to go out with, be the life of the party, etc. Whatever your end, your means are within your power to change.

Being Yourself

When I talk about standing out from the crowd I’m not just talking about doing something different for the sake of being different. I’ve seen people who do things to ‘fit in’. They do it because it’s comfortable and it means they don’t get noticed because they don’t want to be.

There’s nothing wrong with fitting in if that’s what you truly want but if you’re frustrated by the results you’ve been getting so far then think about playing to your strengths that are different from everyone else. I’m naturally bubbly and often when at a social event I’m the one that people say is ‘the life of the party’.

Because of that it’s easy for me to network but there are still moments where I’ve been a bit shy or stuck and not been able to allow the real me to emerge. There are certain traits which are noticed by everyone but unless cultivated they will go to waste and you’ll continue to be frustrated by others getting opportunities and not you.

Even if you were to put on a false façade, that façade is still you and it’s just a question of whether you want to be remembered in that way. Remember that people will associate you with those moments and the next time if you’re not behaving the same way they will just be left wondering why.

If you are just being your usual self only turning up the volume a bit then that’s also okay. If you’re gung-ho and extra happy to be at a networking event then that is likely to be naturally amplified through your excitement of being there. Remember there’s more than just your personality that makes you stand out.

Subtle Nuances

I’ve noticed that subtle things I say, do, or wear also get plenty of attention and make for fantastic ice breakers. I love watches and I have quite a collection. I’ve always managed to pick out ones which are not too loud but stand out enough that people want to comment on them. What better way to start a conversation?

I’m also renowned for wearing lively t-shirts with cartoons or funny captions. There are certain t-shirts I wear for my comedy nights because I know they will get a good laugh. I also have some great cartoon ones that people instantly recognise and want to start talking about as soon as they see them; like my Thundercats t-shirt!

I went outside my comfort zone recently and bought some sneakers that I wouldn’t normally go for but I really liked them. The great thing is that whenever I wear them they get comments and people really like them. A tip for the guys, if you’re going to step outside the box get some advice about colours that look good from a female friend.

If you’re going somewhere, where you have to be smartly dressed, dress slightly smarter than everyone else or slightly more casual. Wear a funky tie or an unusual shirt. Think about how you carry off what you’re wearing? Do you look ready for action or do you look like you’ve just thrown on the first thing you could find when you woke up?

I don’t know about you but I ‘feel’ more alive when I’ve dressed up and made an effort and equally I feel not as good when I don’t make an effort and go out a bit scruffy. If you look good you’ll feel a bit more confident to go up to people and interact. You will notice that the people who get attention in crowds always dress well.

Hobbies & Pastimes

Is your C.V. or bio really boring? Does it need a bit of spicing up? No, I’m not suggesting you lie and tell your future employers that you’re an avid football fan only for them to strike up a conversation about it and then you looking like an idiot because you have no clue! If you have nothing fun to put on your C.V. then you need to get a life!

To start, write a list of 50 things you’ve achieved. It may not be much it’s the first step to recognise what talents and gifts you have. Those things make for great conversation and go a long way to making you stand out.

If you’re still stuck take up a funky hobby, again something you enjoy, rather than something just for the sake of it. If you wanna take up cooking then go for it and don’t ever be embarrassed about sharing them with people no matter what they are. When I tell people I do stand-up comedy they’re always fascinated by it and want to know more!

I always say to people to put down hobbies and interests on a bio or C.V. because you never know when it’s going to strike a chord with the people reading it. Who knows what new doors it may open and opportunities it may bring. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times that started conversations for me when being interviewed.

I have tonnes to put on my C.V. including things like the firewalk I did a few years back. That always gets peoples attention. They want to get to know you when they see something like that because they assume that you’re a bit of a crazy ass mofo and want to know about how, when, where and what it was like.

Whatever your chosen hobbies advertise them on your personal bio or C.V. and watch how many people approach you simply because of them. I remember once a guy handing me a C.V. and we wanted to interview him simply because he had a black belt in a martial arts. It intrigued us and that was one of the first things we noticed when skimming his C.V.

Personality Types

There are certain personality types that also get noticed very quickly and lead to people getting more opportunities. The first of which is self assuredness. Not that I’m a huge fan of his but you only have to look at someone like Simon Cowell to realise where that kind of trait can take you.

Being confident in your beliefs and opinions makes you stand out. You can even tell by someone’s tone how sure they are. Does they speak with a rising tone at the end? That might signify lack of it and almost posing a statement as a question. Someone who was self assured would always end in a downward tone of voice symbolising closure.

Humour is probably the best one of all and I’ve spoken about this in many different posts recently. God invented humour and she’s given you that gift too. Now stop being a boring fart and learn how to have a good time with life. People who behave as if life is short always stand out as they seize the moments.

I don’t like it when that statement is taken out of context though and people stuff themselves with as much junk, booze and drugs as they can get their hands on. Learn how to have a good time without external stimulants. It’s an art form in life and when you do you’ll never need to touch a drop of alcohol ever again.

That brings me to another point in that my tee-total nature also makes me stand out from the crowd. It arouses curiosity in people and gives me the opportunity to explain my reasons. So develop your sense of humour and if people test you let small things roll off your shoulders and learn to ignore them and move on.

The Upshot

I don’t think you need to chase after every opportunity but I do feel there are some that you will need to go after and others will come to you. With greater life experience you’ll start to learn to spot those opportunities. In order that those opportunities find you I then sticking out is a good plan and a good way to go.

Have a good reason to stand out. Once you do read over this again and see if you find anything here that ignites a spark of inspiration within you, that you can do, to stand out. If you miss one don’t dwell over it just continue to move forward and when the next one comes along learn from the past and have another go!

As far as I’m concerned there are a few skills specifically that have transformed my life. These skills I feel in some way should be taught to us when we’re at a young age. These skills are increasing in demand and the demand is only likely to grow.

1. Flirting

In some way there is some undercurrent between all human interaction that involves wanting acceptance or love. Between two individuals of the same sex it’s more one of acceptance generally but when it comes to attracting a mate, whether that be of the opposite sex, or otherwise, there is much denial that attraction is large part of it.

This is why I feel it’s an area of life I think everyone should make an extra special effort to get good at. If you get good at flirting then that takes care of a huge chunk of your life in one swoop! Get a good understanding of what qualities are attractive to people. Also understand how to be cheekily charming or playfully flirtatious.

It’s an area that I feel that I feel holds people back. People who have trouble attracting a mate always seem to lack confidence and self worth. It’s a vicious cycle. When you adopt this skill and become good at it being in a relationship is no longer the be-all and end-all. You are totally comfortable in your skin as a single person and being in a relationship is not what defines you.

2. Comedy or Humour

Comedy is a vital skill. Laughter is always needed and I hate to state the obvious but life would be pretty dull without comedy. I was sitting on a bus the other day. While I was thinking about my stand-up comedy routines for some gigs I have coming up a little joke popped in my head and I burst out laughing. I was being stared at, but I didn’t care!

I’m not the funniest man alive but I do give people a giggle. If I fail to make people laugh I don’t get dis-heartened but most importantly I don’t give up. Have you ever been in a situation where you’re having a conversation with someone and they’re laughing at their own jokes and you’re wondering what the heck they’re laughing at? They’re laughing and laughter is contagious. You can laugh at the fact that they’re laughing at their own jokes!

Learn the ingredients of a good joke or learn some classic jokes and learn to tell them well. People are automatically attracted to people with a sense of humour so it makes sense to learn how to be funny. Self-deprecating humour is not included! Study some of the great comics. Watch their videos on YouTube and see what makes them tick.

3. Speaking

This is an area I’m still working on as it’s an area that can always be improved upon. At some stage in your life you will be called upon to speak to people. Do you really want to be erm’ing and uhhh’ing after every other word? People will get bored with you and your confidence will plummet!

I actually took up stand-up comedy to improve my speaking and although I’ve got a long way to go it’s helped me to no end! People won’t take note of your message unless you speak with confidence and authority. There is no magical transformational tool to do this…oh wait, there is…it’s called PRACTICE!

Have you ever thought something wonderful and then tried to articulate it and it comes out no where near as well as you thought in your head? Congruence comes from a combination of practice and confidence. People speak well until they’re told they’re speaking in front of a crowd. Think of yourself as speaking casually amongst friends.

4. Writing

There are very few professions that don’t involve writing in some form. Even if not the gift of writing can be utilized in countless number of ways. I know that my writing on this blog can be better but I also know that it’s improved by leaps and bounds from when I first started writing.

Conveying your thoughts on paper or screen in a creative way can open doors in any number of ways. Just look at successful bloggers who’ve made a career from writing. They’ve become so good that they quit their jobs and now do it full time. Writing is not only enjoyable but it can earn you good money!

Since the invention of keyboards my handwriting has become appalling so now I take the time to do some scribbling on paper. Not only does it carry a different kind of vibe to typing on a screen but it almost makes it feel like your whole body is getting involved. Just recently I got a hand written letter from someone. When was the last time you got or sent one?

5. Body

As they say in NLP that 55% of what you say comes from you body. Have you ever paid attention to the way you stand or walk? Or to what you do with you hands when you have a conversation with someone? Body language operates at a very sub conscious level in both it’s operation and interpretation

Mastering your body will go a long way to contributing towards points 1 -3. I was out with friends recently and we were messing around with trying to convey different expressions with our faces. It wasn’t easy and when you didn’t think about it, it just came naturally but when you thought about it, it made it harder.

Your body is an integrated system and is conveying so much more about you than you can imagine. When you learn to be in charge of it you will be able to create that magnetic personality that so many people strive for. Try it and see for yourself.

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I so wish I was taught this kind of stuff at school. This sort of thing would’ve been much more interesting to me than reading a boring book. I was so disappointed to hear that Drama, as a subject in schools, may be eliminated as that’s where I learned most of my social skills.

Learn these skills well. They will take you far and replace many other skills that you think you need and contribute to powerful personality traits.

It’s been just over a week since I decided to start my communications sabbatical and yesterday was the day I officially ended it! It’s been a real eye opener for me and I’ve come to understand a great deal through the process. Before I move any further I would just like to say to all my close friends who doubted me; ‘thank you for giving me even greater resolve to complete the challenge!’

Lets get straight down to it!

Time & Focus

I wouldn’t necessarily say that I found I had more time. What I did discover was that because I had much less distraction my focus and concentration increased a heck of a lot! There was still always plenty for me to do and so rather than putting things off and letting an IM or FB message distract me, I just got on with it!

Missing Out

I feel that so many people do things because they feel like they’re ‘missing out’ on something. I personally don’t think that’s the best reason to do it. Do it because it’s something you really want to do and serves a purpose for you. Learn to understand what a specific tool can do for you and utilise it. If it doesn’t serve a purpose you don’t have to keep using it just because other people are.

Facebook

I love Facebook as it is a very powerful tool but equally, unless treated with respect, it can the object of your undoing. I wish I’d thought more carefully how I set up my Facebook account in the initial stages but it’s never too late to change the settings. Facebook isn’t a competition to see who has the most friends. Remember that you are in control of the people you add and who can see your activities

It can be a very simple social tool or a very powerful marketing implement. You can choose to have just your 50 closest friends on there or you can build a following of thousands of fans. Either way just know that it’s open to the whole world and so if you don’t want everything to be public make sure you setup groups and adjust your privacy settings.

It allows me to interact with listeners while on the radio and send out bulletins to the groups with all our followers. I also use it a great deal while doing backchat and update my status with my debate topic of the hour. It’s a great way of getting instant interaction and for the listeners, of course, it’s free!

Twitter

The same goes for Twitter. It’s not a competition of followers for me but if I do get people following me who genuinely want to hear what I’ve got to say, then great; it’s served it’s purpose for me. I have my blog linked to my Twitter which in turn is linked to my Facebook account and so when put up a post it automatically updates both. That makes it all so convenient but I probably won’t use Twitter much for direct interactions. I’ll continue to use Facebook for that and one medium for me, is enough!

I can totally understand the popularity of Twitter. It’s creators are geniuses beyond measure and it’s no wonder it’s exploded the way it has! It gives people the opportunity to share little thoughts they have during the day that wish they could share with people and until recently had no means to do so! Everyone wishes someone was around to see something cool and even minute events that occur during the course of the day.

Instant Messengers

I’ve lost all desire to use IM’s. I don’t know why but I’m not really a fan of communicating that way. I much prefer email. I’ve decided to turn off all my IM’s and just use Facebook chat occasionally while I’m on air at the studio. I’ve started to find it a little bit too intrusive. That’s not to say I’ve never use them again but right now I’m enjoying the break from them.

The Upshot

Being free from all those communication tools was a really liberating experience. I definitely will take a day out each month and switch off my phone and have a full day away from the computer. I will also not respond to messages instantly on the phone.

From the first day I gave it up I didn’t miss it at all but it’s not easy giving everything up cold turkey in a world where we depend on those tools so much. So I’m not quite ready to give up my blackberry just yet but I’m sure going to not worry as much the next time I accidentally leave it at home.

After finishing my sabbatical yesterday I came across this great post by Leo of Zenhabits called How to Live a Better Life With Less so check it out when you have some time!

This Saturday is a big day for me as I’m doing the main speech for my friends wedding. The two of them met at college which is where I also met them. They approached me and asked if I’d like to do the main speech. I jumped at the chance and, as always, I went in head first without really thinking about it; but I do love a good challenge!

So after realising what I’d got myself into I started to prep for the speech. Only then did I realise what I challenge it was! There were many things for me to consider. For starters there was a religious difference and then there is the mixed audience of young and old alike. I knew I’d have to keep my speech clean, make it funny with lots of funny stories and steer well clear of any religious humour. I also wanted the speech be something truly memorable for the bride and groom but and just enough so that it didn’t end up spoiling their big day. Lucky for me they both have a great sense of humour so no worries there.

This is not the first speech I’ve written but considering the audience I think it is definitely the most difficult so far. As college was such a long time ago a lot of those memories have now faded. There are still plenty there but if I knew then how important they would be I would’ve made a greater effort to remember them. That in itself has been one of the greatest lessons overall for me through the whole process. Finding out how valuable memories are.

I’ve now finished the speech and I’m just rehearsing for Saturday. I’m both excited and nervous at the same time. There’s always room for improvement and me being the perfectionist that I am will always want to make it better. I’m sure that over the course of the next few days I’ll work on it to make it better while also memorising the speech. Now all I have to do is book my ticket and be ready to flee the country just after I deliver the speech and just before the bride and groom catch me!

Without further ado, here are my top 10 on how to write and deliver a speech

1. The First Draft

Your speech will never turn out perfect after the first draft. That’s the point – it’s a draft! The secret is writing and re-writing. It doesn’t matter if you have to re-write it 15 times as each re-write will be an improvement on the last. My wedding speech is on it’s 4th draft and I can safely say it got better with each re-write

2. Including Humour

Once you get the knack of writing jokes including humour is easy. There’s a distinct difference though between finding something funny, inside you head, and translating it in a way that anyone would find funny. If you need help with humour there’s a great book that helped me by Greg Dean which you can find on Amazon. It’s got tons of useful tips on the construction of humour.

3. Delivery

I don’t buy into this nonsense that if you think fast you speak fast. You can decide how you want to deliver a speech by practising it out loud. Decide which style works for you. You can be straight and dead-pan or you can be light-hearted and jovial. Find a style that works for you and go with it. Remember it might also depend on what you’re delivering in the speech too. If you want to come across as cool, then slow and deliberate is the way to go; if you want to come as passionate then speed and volume count for a great deal!

4. Ideas

It’s sometimes difficult to know how to begin your speech. I’ve found that the best way is to throw loads of ideas onto paper and then start tinkering with them. Chaos works well for me so I start by scribbling and then try out a few ideas. There’s no right or wrong way to begin; a cool story can work just as well as an opening gag. Something to get the audience relaxed and to trust in you that you won’t bore them to death!

5. Audience

Of course, it goes without saying that you need to know your audience well. As I mentioned earlier the speech that I’m doing at the moment is a wedding speech with a very mixed audience. So I had to keep it very clean so I had to try a different kind of humour to what I’ve employed before. I’ve practised in front of friends and so far they like it.

6. Memorising

There are loads of techniques you can employ to memorise your speech. I’ve developed my own method that works well for me. I prefer not read off the script while I’m talking, but of course, it’s good to have something there to remind you. I tend to break all the paragraphs down and give each a title. I memorise those using the first letter of each title. And through practise I remember the content of each paragraph naturally. You might have your own methods and feel free to share them in the comments

7. Tweaking

I’ve noticed that as I practise out loud I’m more likely to detect if something doesn’t sound quite right or could sound better. Then, as I’m practising I can make any tweaks as necessary. Again, you should know this cardinal rule, the more you practise the better you and it get!

8. Nerves and Breath Control

I’ve always had a challenge with public speaking where I hold my breath as I talk and eventually I run out of air! For some strange reason this doesn’t happen when I do stand-up comedy but does more so if I speak ad-hoc at a gathering or in front of people. I will talk about one other technique next but the truth is not to worry about it and also know that as you practise and remember your speech, the less that likely to occur.

9. Pauses

If you do struggle for breath, pause, and take a sip of water! Pauses can be incredibly powerful. It can work if you’re about to deliver a punchline or the core meaning or your paragraph perhaps. Very few people will notice the pause for anything else other than a pause. They won’t notice that you’ve paused to catch your breath. If you do pause, look at your audience, maybe catch someone’s glance and ask, it that all clear so far? That’s just one method but the most important this is knowing how to use the pause.

10. Go For Broke And Be Remembered!

I do believe to make a speech work you do have to be bit risky and on the edge. You want to do something that is going to make people remember you. If you’re lucky people might remember you for how boring you were; but lets hope not! Make them remember you for something you did that was either, exceptional, funny, original, unique, or even outrageous. Let it be something that people will associate with you and even quote you on!

There we have my top 10 tips on writing and delivering a speech. Once I’ve done my speech on Saturday I may put a snippet on Youtube but I’ll keep the rest private so that it’s a private memory for the bride and groom and all those present!

If you would like coaching with writing and delivering a speech get in touch!

The WHAT-TIS Principle

Which force drives you more? Is it fear? Or is it regret? Both can be powerful motivators. They are not the only motivators but they are both very powerful none the less and can be highly influence the decisions that you make. Wherever your focus goes the most is ultimately how you will make your decisions. What thought is strongest? (WHAT-TIS)

Fear

You are facing a crucial life decision. A decision that could potentially take your life in two, very different, directions depending on what choice you make. It could be something as simple as either deciding to do something or to not do it. At this moment you’re feeling fear about deciding to do it. There is something that scares you about the unknown path and it’s giving you butterflies in the pit of your stomach. To not do it is the comfortable choice. To do it means that you will need to make sacrifices and suffer some discomfort even though it has the possibility of being very rewarding for the longer term. The fear swallows you up and soon that becomes your primary focus.

Regret

You’re facing exactly the same decision but instead of focussing on the fear you’re thinking from a future perspective. You’re thinking 10 years into the future and what you might feel if you don’t just go for it. You’ll be asking yourself : Will I regret this for the rest of my life? Will I always look back and wonder what about what could’ve been? The feeling of regret is stronger than the fear and you can’t live with not knowing how things might have turned out. The feeling of regret becomes your primary focus and you realise that regret is something that you cannot live with.

You can see from the two examples that both forces are powerful and totally antithetical. The former focusses on present feelings whereas the latter focusses on what feelings you may get in the future. You bring those feelings to the present and weigh up which is stronger. Whichever of the two you focus on the most lead to the respective feelings and you will then make your decision accordingly.

I wrote this to bring to you the alternative. If you always focussed on the fear then this will give you a different perspective and ultimately a different outcome to your life.

After nearly 3 days of being offline I’ve finally managed to get my blog up and running in the same state that it was before. My previous webhost Doteasy took my website offline without consulting me and that, in my book, is just very bad practise. They said that my blog was causing their server to crash because the SQL queries were tying up the server resources.

I spoke to quite a few people who are very knowledgeable about WordPress and they all agreed that nothing was wrong with my blog or database but it just appeared that the servers at doteasy couldn’t handle hosting a simple blog. Also because they took it down without notifying me it meant that I didn’t even get a chance to put my blog into maintenance mode.

At first I moved over to IXWebhosting but unfortunately they are running an older version of phpmyadmin which only allowed a maximum SQL database import of 2mb. My database is only 5mb and after waiting 48hours for them to act I decided I needed to try another host. So I tried Bluehost and I chose them for the simple reason that they had good reviews but most important have a live webchat facility that works pretty well and you get more or less an instant response.

The other problem with Doteasy was that they were only open during office hours at US PST. Because they took my blog down on Friday it would meant that I would have to wait for a whole weekend before getting any support. They have been quite reliable in the past but in today’s world having a 24/7 support IMHO is essential.

So far Bluehost have been fantastic and have provided excellent, friendly and helpful support and I would definitely recommend them. The control panel is simply laid out and easy to navigate. They have a live chat facility which gives you instant access to a support person who can usually answer or help with your query on the spot.

Through this whole experience I’ve learned loads. Even the process of moving my blog over from one host to another was a bit of a challenge. Through the whole life of this blog I’ve had several technical challenges and each time I’ve learned a bit more about how to manage it better. I didn’t follow the method explained on the WordPress website but I just used common sense and so far it all seems to have worked fine; with the exception of a few missing pictures – but I know why that happened!

All in all though I’ve learned a great deal about the responsibility of hosting your own website and the work that takes in keeping it up to date and fully maintained. If you’re in the process of setting up your website or blog and are debating on whether to set up your own one or want to know what options you have here are my tips to help you choose.

1. You don’t have to get your own host and host your blog. Remember that if you do then you become responsible for maintaining it including backing it up regularly. If you’re not very technical and web savvy, then I recommend getting a blogspot or wordpress hosted site and just buy a domain and do a URL Redirect.

2. If you do go for say a blogspot blog remember that you will not have to worry about keeping it up to date and less time will be spent fixing it as there is a lot less that can go wrong. Again if you’re not technical or comfortable with stuff like that I’d say that this is a better option for you.

3. If you’re going to get a host and maintain your own blog remember that things can go wrong. A slight alteration of code, a dodgy plugin, and poor theme can all mean extra hassle and workload for you. There’s definitely benefit in doing it this way in that if you know what you’re doing you can truly customise the blog to suit you!

4. If you go for the latter option then keep your blog up to date! From WordPress 2.7 onwards keeping your blog up to date is easy with the automatic update feature. I remember when I had version 1.5 running on my blog for a very long time and it got completely hacked to bits. Don’t let that happen! Keep it up to date and the wordpress forums are a great place to get assistance if you get stuck!

5. If you’re going for the former option then remember that there are many hosted blogs that you can check out. The two I’ve tried are blogspot and wordpress and I’d recommend either but in order to assist in building your identity I would recommend buying a domain that you want and setting up a URL Redirect.

Whichever method you choose keep a log of what you learn along the way. That way if similar problems crop up in the future you might already have a log of what you did in the past to fix it. There will be countless help forums online that you can get assistance from so don’t feel silly about asking what you might think is an obvious thing!

That’s twice today on two separate radio stations now where an advertisement has been played about the fact that obesity in young people is on the rise and could lead to future health problems.

Weight And Health Issues For Teens

Over the past 5 – 10 years you will have noticed that this has been a pretty strong theme especially with the US and the UK. There were all sorts of chefs and celebrities getting in on the act and trying to do simple things like make school dinners better. Other celebrities were trying to encourage involvement in fitness and exercise.

From what I heard on the radio adverts the trend is on the rise for obesity amongst youngsters and is seeing no signs of slowing down. It seems like no matter what people do the problem is still on the rise.

Focus And The Law Of Attraction

According to the Law of Attraction what you focus on you get and so it seems that we are focussing on the wrong thing and getting back exactly that.

The prime focus seems to be on obesity rather giving options to young people that are more fun than sitting at home watching t.v., playing video games and eating junk food. The answer to me seems very simple in that we have to make the alternatives more fun and more appealing than the sitting at home option.

It’s clear to me that an inactive body and mind naturally turns towards lazy activities like t.v. and quick food consumption. Boredom is also a strong key. Haven’t you noticed that when you’re bored at home the first thing you do is reach for the remote and some nibbles? Do this on a regular basis and it all catches up with you in the mid section and then some!

A Paradigm Shift

Even though I don’t own one I’m a fan of the Nintendo Wii as its quite an active games console and you move around. You can even work up a sweat playing on one of those! Where I think we’re going wrong is that young people often associate bad things to phyical activities often because of the things that they have to do in P.E. at school. Very often they have to do activities which they don’t enjoy and it’s often taught in a way which is enforced rather than something a given choice!

With the London Olympics fast approaching it’s time we changed this mentality. It’s time we gave our youngsters better options with a more appealing stance that would make then naturally want to participate in more sports! As much as schools is a big part of this there are other ways we can get youngsters exercising too. I remember back in the day my friends and I would meet in the park and organise a game of footy! Then, random strangers would come and join in and before we knew, it we had big teams of people playing and everyone just had a grea time!

Simple things like organising a game of footy at the park can make leaps and bounds towards making a difference to the health and well being of our children. Our focus needs to change though! We don’t need to be focussing on possible outcomes of no exercise! We need to focus on a shift in our paradigm and get youngsters out of the house away of lazy temptations! Don’t put t.v.’s in your kids bedrooms. Ditch the games consoles and get out there in nature and have some fun! Even the adults with kids can save money on the gym just by taking your kids to the park and taking a frisbee and just having some fun! That way you all get some exercise and you all get closer too!

Some Suggestions

1) Don’t focus on the obesity and heart disease. Focus on the most fun you can have whilst being outside and things you can do that don’t involve huge amounts of money!

2) Go old school and organise a fun sporting group activity in the park! It doesn’t even have to be outdoors. Even something like bowling can be fun, make you work up a bit of a sweat and a cheap way of doing it too!

3) Make sport in schools more fun and inclusive for everyone! Gymnastics may not be everyone’s cup of tea so offer the youngsters options!

4) Gyms aren’t the only way to get exercise! Explore what you have in your local area in the way of nature or parks. You may be surprised at what you find! You may even find a bike trail that you and your whole family can enjoy together!

5) Look for social sports clubs that you enjoy where you will naturally feel compelled to return to. The people there will keep you motivated and the very act of making new friends and networking will make you want to go back. If the option is there take your kids along or offer to take your friends kids or neices and nephews!

It’s all about the fun!

A very happy new year to you all for 2009! It’s so far started out to be a very exciting year for me! Many new possibilities and opportunities have already begun emerging simply because of the very powerful intentions and resolutions that I’ve set for myself.

Just like last year I haven’t been thin with my resolutions! Even though I haven’t documented all of them I’m certain that once I do they will get extremely close to the 15 pages that I wrote for last year. The difference this year is that I have a very specific theme which is something I haven’t done before. Similar to my weekly focus points but this will be the core theme for my whole year encompassing all the resolutions and plans.

The theme for 2009 year is ‘Self Leadership’ and I encourage you to adopt this theme for yourself too!

What is Self Leadership?

Think of your favorite icon in history who inspired millions. It could be Dr Martin Luther King or Gandhi or anyone who has in some way inspired you. Now think about how they managed to inspire those millions of people! What was it, within those people, that they connected with? How did their message touch you?

In each of us is the capacity to be those kinds of leaders. We don’t necessarily have to go out and inspire millions and infact that need not even be present within your reasoning. The reason that people like Gandhi were so inspiring was because they had very strong beliefs and no matter how they were challenged they held to those beliefs. When you see someone fighting for what they believe sometimes it doesn’t even matter if you believe in that cause you’ll rise and support them! They had vision and a purpose!

Lead Yourself Through Vision

To engage those leadership qualities within you, you must first and foremost get a vision for yourself that inspires you and then automatically you will inspire others to support your cause.

Many people I know have sold themselves short, myself included, about what they’re capable of achieving in their lives. The trouble is what you set for yourself as a target. If it’s one you’re likely to reach but is one that isn’t inspiring to you are you going to even want to reach it? What if you set yourself a vision and dream that was so inspiring to you that every time you even just thought about it you got goose pimples?

Even if you set yourself a goal that is perfectly within reach of you if it doesn’t inspire you you’re not likely to reach it because you simple “can’t be arsed to”!

Setting a target that is almost unreachable but very inspiring to you to the point where it brings a tear to the eye is the best way to go! It will automatically have given yourself the drive to go and achieve it rather than looking for some external force to motivate you!

Carving a Path

Ultimately what this means for me is that no matter who I’m with or where I am I will follow the dreams and visions I’ve created for myself. People who are inspired individuals can often intimidate others and their first reaction may often be to try and knock some of the wind out of your sails!

I remember I was invited to a dinner party a while back and there was a young woman there. She was very good looking and she looked like she had a lot going for her. We started talking and immediately upon seeing how much I loved life she immediately tried to impose her model of the world on me1and she also tried to tell me that I would soon learn the way of the real world and that I would sooner or later be “shit” upon! Her assumption was that I had obviously had a very easy life and that I was brought up wrapped up in cotton wool. If only she knew! The only difference between her and I is the way in which we choose to percieve those events and how we choose to respond to them.

So when anyone does try and bring me down instead of letting it get to me I now actually take is a compliment that I’ve pushed someone’s buttons about being inpspired about my life and through all the progress I’m making towards my visions and dreams!

Don’t just be someone who follows the crowd or even follows a path just because someone else has done it before! The route someone has taken towards succes is not necessarily going to work for you even though the destinations may be similar. Find your own way of getting there by experimenting through various successes and failures! I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again that I would much rather try and fail then never try at all!

So for 2009 I encourage you employ a similar ideology for Self Leadership. Become a true leader of yourself, your emotions and create dreams and visions that inspire you to be the greatest ‘you’, you can be!

That’s four, no, make that five compliments I’ve had now over the last two weeks from people saying that I’ve lost a huge amount of weight. I haven’t changed my diet significantly, I haven’t exercised more, the only real change has been that I’ve added in the breathing exercises. I’m fairly sure that my weight hasn’t acutally gone down either but maybe my body shape has changed or even gained muscle mass and burned fat. I’m quite intrigued now to see what the end result will be at the end of the 30 days!

I’m really enjoying doing the breathing exercises while driving and there’s something else I’ve not noticed while doing them. I’ve noticed that doing them while driving, I naturally feel much calmer and I drive a lot slower; not quite to the point where you can call me miss daisy just yet! I’m finding a great way of just being more at peace and I tend to drive more consciously rather than just being on auto pilot. If driving stresses you out then it’s definitely something to try out!

Over the last few days I had an incredibly busy schedule. On Saturday and Sunday I was covering the breakfast show on the radio. I was also doing voluntary work on Saturday afternoon and then in the evening I was performing stand-up comedy for Humili-Asian.

Sunday was pretty much the same and I also had very little sleep on both nights, approximately 3 hours each. On Sunday, while I had a couple of hours free, I decided to have a nap in the afternoon. If I nap I will generally do so for about 2 hours or so but this time I noticed that I only needed 45 minutes after that I was fresh and raring to go. In the evening I played badminton as usual after doing the backchat radio show and by the late evening I still had plenty of energy.

I also noticed that over the last few days I’ve felt like I’ve also been radiating more postive energy and I’ve also felt much more emotionally stable to. Maybe there is more to this breathing malarky then meets the eye!

I decided to try something new too. As I’m in the car and on the road a lot I thought I’d try out doing the breathing exercises in the car and I’m finding it much easier and less boring. I’m not sure why! I’m doing exactly the same thing and yet the process seems to zip by as if nothing. It’s a good way to make constructive use of driving time. Rather than just listening to music and coupled with the fact that I miss being able to read like I used to do when commuting, it seems like a sensible way of utilising that time to do something invigorating.

The last thing I’ve noticed is that I’m no longer yawning anywhere near as much as I used to! I haven’t noticed any difference in my fitness of physique as yet.

So day two of my trial and naturally there are no significant changes to report as yet. The biggest challenge I am facing so far is remembering to do it. I haven’t set any reminders in my phone or anything like that, I’m just going to do it from memory and make it as much of a habit as possible. It’s important in that respect in establishing the discipline in doing somethng like this and seeing it through to the end. It’s a way of training yourself to go beyond the point where you want to give up; pushing through the first pain barrier like you might do when running.

While I’m doing the breathing I’m also using that time to slow down, focus and meditate and channel my thoughts on different things. Yesterday I was focussing solely on being grateful for all the wonderful things in my life. At one point today I continued working whilst doing the breathing exercises. That in itself is interesting as I’m counting out loud in my head and still managing to stay focussed on what I was doing.

I’m still following the 1-4-2 x 10 rule and will likely continue this for the full duration of the trial. One thing I have noticed is that during the breathing exercises I start to feel much warmer and my body heats up a lot. Again this does tie in with what I’ve heard before about breathing techniques from old hindu priests who say that it can be used to control the temperature of the body.

I’m very curious to hear from anyone who’s done a similar trial and to find out what results you have had.

I’ve decided to take a leaf out of Steve Pavlina’s book and begin my own 30 day trial. This also ties in with my weekly focus point which I posted up today.

My first trial is going to be all about breathing and seeing what effect using regular breathing techniques have on me in all areas including energy levels, frame of mind, weight, physical fitness, emotional state etc.

I’ve read about and been shown various breathing techniques from a variety of people. I remember a couple of years ago a Hindu priest telling me that even though I exercise a lot the reason I wasn’t losing weight was because I wasn’t breathing correctly. That was the first moment that the power of deep breathing sparked my interest.

I’ve read about a few techniques but I’ve opted to test out the one that Tony Robbins often talks about which includes deep diaphragmatic breathing and using the system of 1-4-2. In for a ratio of 1, hold for 4 and out for 2. E.g. Inhale for 5 seconds, hold it for 20 and then release for 10 seconds. You can choose any amount of time you like so long as you stick to the 1-4-2 ratio. So you could inhale for 8 seconds, hold for 32 and breath out for 16 seconds.

Many people breath from chest and therefore only utilise the upper portion of the lungs when they have a much greater capacity. The way to use the entire capacity of the lungs and fully oxygenate the body is to make sure your stomach is coming out as you breath. Your organs are literally being pushed out to make way for the diaphragm to fully expand and then fill the entire lungs with air.

The theory behind this is that physically we have 3 core needs and I’ve put them in order of importance based on how long we could survive without each one.

1) Breathing – We can only survive at most a few minutes without oxygen and so breathing correctly is vital to life.
2) Drinking Water – We can only survive a maximum of 24 – 48hours without waters and so water is essential for us as the body is also 65% made up of water
3) Eating – We can survive a few months without eating so eating well is also essential.

My plan is to incorporate the 1-4-2 rule into my daily routine for a repetition of 10, 3 times a day. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon and finally once in the evening or just before bed. I will also be carefully monitoring myself throughout the day to make sure that I am breathing correctly as even while writing this I just noticed that I was breathing through my chest.

Here comes the science bit…

The theory is that we of course have a special mechanism that pumps blood around the body called the heart however the lymph system has no such pump. The way to activate the lymph system is through deep breathing and movement. I do plenty of exercise anyway so I thought the next step would be to incorporate the regular deep breathing as part of my routine.

I’ll be posting up my results over the coming month and will be keeping you all abreast of my results!

I’ve always said that that only way to know something is to try for yourself? Be honest, how many times have you made a judgement about something or someone without actually knowing anything about the person or thing you’re judging? C’mon, be honest!

We’re all guilty of it and so that is why I’ve brought fourth this weekly focus point and that is to try for yourself and see! If there is anything you’ve made any kind of judgement about without actually knowing for yourself now is the time to try it and see!

I’m trying something out for myself as a 30 day trial and I’ll be blogging about it shortly.

Think about what you’ve made judgements on and ask yourself where those judgements came from, did they come from hearsay? It’s like a movie review. You might read a review of a movie and base your whole decision on not going to see that movie but who knows; you might actually love it!

Think about a time when you judged an activity and then finally got around to trying it yourself and realising it that it’s what had been missing from your life all along!

Think about what else you could be missing out on because you listened to the judgements of others and in turn have made snap judgements of your own. That mindset can leave you closed minded and as a result you may miss out on some of the most beautiful things life has to offer. Open your mind to new things and try things out for yourself. Close your ears to the judgements of others and allow your inner voice to be the dominant force for your destiny.

As always let me know what new things you’ve decided to try. Post your results here!

On Sunday evening I was once again performing stand-up comedy at a bar in Ilford called the IG1 bar. It was a hugely successful event and we always spend time with the crowd afterwards to find out what they thought and to get plenty of feedback. The overall feedback was that everyone really enjoyed themselves and wanted more! We had about 60 people come along and the setting was an open bar with round tables and people sitting around enjoying themselves. It’s the first time I think as a group that we have done an event in that kind of setting. It is usually the theatre kind of setting that we perform in so this brought with it a different kind of learning experience that and I really enjoyed. That setting for some reason just feels more intimate and personal and also I think because it reminds me of other comedians I’ve seen performing at similar events.

While I was there it was an opportunity for me to practise WFP1 – being in the moment. Just before it was my turn to perform and I centered myself and became present in the moment. I didn’t worry about how the future and how I would perform and I didn’t stress about the past and whether I had practised enough. I had someone ask me how to be in the moment and there are a few simple techniques. Try this one to begin with: While doing any movement, become consciously aware of the inner processes going on that allow that to happen. E.g. As you get ready to sip your drink, become aware of how it is all happening. How your brain is communicating that desire to your arm so that it then carries out the intended function.

This weeks focus point is slightly different and it’s more about tangible practise as opposed to inner awareness. I mentioned this on John Assaraf’s blog as it coincided with something he mentioned. How often do you sit back and observe your inner chatter? Most of that inner chatter is either evaluation or questions and a lot of the time it’s neutral but it’s the meaning we give to that which we think that creates what we perceive to be negative or positive. What do you think about yourself? If you have a low opinion of yourself you’ll no doubt you’ll feel bad when you think about how other people perceive you. If you have a high opinion of yourself you’ll look down at other people. Somewhere in the middle is a healthy respect for yourself and others. You don’t put yourself or others on a pedastol and you don’t negate yourself. To find the balance here is a good exercise you can try.

Many self employed people and in particular on personal development websites you will see that the person in question has written a 3rd person bio about themselves. If you’ve never done one before, try writing one! Even though I have done one for this blog I will be writing another one soon for a specific project I will be working on. In that bio I will be focussing more skills that concern that particular project.

It’s an interesting process and can be a bumpy one! We find it so easy to criticise ourselves and much harder to think highly about ourselves. Not in an arrogant way but in a way that condusive to not only bringing out the best in you but the best in others also. So grab a pen an paper or switch on your laptop and go ahead and write a 3rd person bio about yourself that is not arrogant but honest and that demonstrates qualities and traits you believe thats represents you as a wholesome character who oozes confidence and self respect.

Here’s one I made earlier!:

“Amit is a man of many talents. Not only does he run his own business as a Life Coach but Amit also undertakes challenges and pursuits of a huge variety. Amit spends much of his time working with and coaching children from walks of life with the aim of self-empowering youths. Coupled with this Amit hosts a Radio Show called ‘Backchat’ which is a topical youth talk show aimed at the 13 – 25 market and it’s purpose it to not only talk about but tackle some of the toughest issues affecting the younger generation. Amit also volunteers at an organisation called PACE which is charity which encourages and promotes the inclusion of young disabled people in sports. In his spare time Amit is an amateur stand-up comedian and regularly appears as part of the Humili-Asian amateur comedy nights. So far Amit has performed in front of crowds of 200+ and believes that humour is one of the most powerful mediums through which human beings can be inspired. Amit is also a keen badminton player and has many other hobbies like chess, music, running, solving puzzles, reading, driving, travelling, and gadgets.”

There we have it, simple, to the point, gives some good information about me and lets people know what I do and makes it easy for them to connect with me. There’s always room for improvement but it’s a step in the right direction. Remember that the purpose of this exercise is to redress the balance in the way that you think about yourself and break the habit of the negative self talk that you might be used to and replace it with more constructive productive self talk.

As always try this exercise for yourself and if you wish post up your own personal bio here in the coments!

Working with children is not only hugely rewarding but also brings with it the greatest learning experiences. If you want to learn about where you are in terms of your own personal development – go work with children!

A few weeks ago I was asked to give an inspiriational talk to some teens at a referral unit. These teens are there because they have been excluded from school or have had a complete disinterest in school. Last Wednesday was the day I had to give the talk and I decided to not plan too much in advance and only to plan my key points and deliver my talk as free flowing as possible.

I realised afterwards that it was probably not the best approach. Something I’ve learned from doing stand-up comedy is that the key to be able to improvise and maintain that sense of control while doing it is to be fully versed in what you’re going to say. I learned it the hard way but it was a great lesson to learn. I also found other areas where I was lacking in that children, in order to remain engaged, need plenty of humour and information that sparks the imagination; nothing too challening, just enough that it gets them thinking!

The key message of my talk to make it clear to them that they all had a unique gift. They may not have discovered it yet but it is most certainly there! I shared my story of how I left school with virtually no qualifications and yet today I have branched out into several different areas and along the way I’ve tried a variety of different things. I’ve decided for next time that I’m going to include more of my talents including magic and comedy. Magic is something I haven’t done for a long time but I recently decided to take it up again for this very purpose.

I remember now that in order to pull of a magic trick with confidence it requires an immense amount of practise and once pefected then, and only then, should it be performed. During the course of the trick because you have thorough practised the trick you no longer have to think about doing it. You could do it with your eyes closed and while frying an egg! If you can get to that stage small distractions don’t matter you unconsciously go through the processes that you need to do in order to complete the illusion.

What I learned is that speaking to teenagers requires a very similar principle and the key is being well versed and getting plenty of practise. What I also got from there day is that there is much work to be done. My goal there was not to change them, it was to empower them. It was for them to awaken to the fact that they do have gifts and if utilised they can go on to do amazing things no matter their level of education.

I know that this will be the first of many talks that I’ll be giving to children over the coming month/years and if you are responsible for a group of youngsters and would like me to come and give an entertaining, inspiring, fun and challenging talk then please do get in touch with me and I will do my absolute best to accomodate your requirements.