Yes ladies, I know what you’re thinking, who is that muscular, sweaty, handsome devil in the picture? Yes it’s me so please can you control your hormones,
I’m single and available! (Not anymore!) I’ll explain later why I put this particular picture up but for now I just want to ask you a couple of simple questions.
To the guys and gals – are you single? If so do you realise how good you have it? Or are you feeling miserable and do you often spend time fantasizing about having a partner just like your friends or the couples you see on the street? Do you waste the precious moments of your single life worrying about being left on the shelf? Flirting is good for the soul so if you’ve been single for a long time then this is just the article for you!
The Love Doctor
Before I go any further I wanted to mention that a big shift occurred for me when I discovered David DeAngelo. I just want to make it clear at this point that I don’t get paid to promote him and he probably doesn’t even know who I am. I’m just so grateful I discovered his work because it helped me get to grips with an area of my life I always struggled with. If you don’t already, subscribe to his news letter! I learned SO much just from reading them.
Single-hood Is Precious
As a single person you may not realise just how good you have it. Most single people are so caught up in self pity that precious opportunities pass them by and they don’t even realise it. Whatever your situation right now you are in exactly the right place you are supposed to be in but, going forward, you control what happens.
I used to be so bad at asking women out. I got lucky a few times but overall I was pretty bad at it and more often than not I was rejected and dejected over and over again. Being rejected is not nice but I’ll explain later how I turned things around. I still get rejected, and probably more often, but that’s because I try more often without the fear of rejection.
I once wrote an article called ‘One For The Nice Guys’ and I take back every single word I wrote on there! I was wrong and I’ve realised the error of my ways. If I knew then what I know now I would most likely be in a very different place. At this present moment I’m a bachelor, I love dating, meeting new people, and just having some fun along the way!
Date Like There’s No Tomorrow!
I used to get really depressed about being single but now I love it. I’m not saying I want to stay single but I recognise now how lucky I am. Yes I’m looking for someone I can share my life with, but on that journey, I’d like to have some fun and give women enjoyable experiences that they’ll remember for a long time to come! (Stop thinking naughty thoughts!)
If you’re single you can go on as many dates as you want and enjoy being flirtatious anywhere! (I’m a believer that just because you have a partner it doesn’t mean you can’t still flirt!) If you feel you need help in that area then keep reading and I’ll give you more suggestions about how to get good at it. In fact, I’ll be writing more posts on my dating tips.
Ah now we come to the reason I put up that picture! A picture of me not looking so pretty and with sweaty pits? Why on earth would I put up a picture like that if I’m trying to attract women? It’s simple. I did because I know that women don’t really care what a guy looks like. If you can make her laugh, whilst being a confident, then any guy has the golden ticket to being a stud!
I used to be so worried about my weight and the way I looked that I made up a whole bunch of crappy limiting beliefs as to why women didn’t want to go out with me. I used to think it was about my weight, and how I looked, and those beliefs held me back for years. Now, no matter what anyone else thinks about me, I believe I’m handsome, sexy (despite the sweaty pits) and great fun to be with!
My rejections had nothing to do with the way I looked or my weight and everything to do with the way I did it. However it doesn’t hurt to make a bit of an effort. I do like to dress smart and women appreciate that but it isn’t the bottom line. I have got a date in the past whilst in my sports gear and looking like I’d just wrestled an alligator! (And lost!)
Get A Cool Attitude
I used to always came across as single, needy and clingy and that is definitely a big turn off. If you can learn to be more fun in your approach and not take rejection too seriously then you will come across as more attractive. In the beginning, the more you try, the more you’ll get rejected. It’s just the law of averages but as you get better at it you will get more yes’s than ‘no, please can you leave me alone and stop stalking me’!
If you’re not having luck then something needs to change. Change your approach and learn to have more fun in the process. If you get nervous approaching people then practise is all you need and you can start with your friends. Do a role play with a friend and see what they think. I was with my friend in the car the other day and I told her how I’d approach her if I was going to ask her out. Her response? ‘Smooth and I probably would’ve said yes!’
How To Handle Rejection
I’ve been rejected plenty and I remember how that used to make me feel in the past. I used to shut myself away but then I’d be a friend to the person who rejected me in the secret hope that they would see the kind of person I am and then fall hopelessly in love with me! Now my solution is simple; move on! If you get hung up on just one person then you’re missing out on millions of people who are single and looking.
If you’re feeling bad after being rejected the prime reason is simply that you’ve pinned your hopes on that one person. When you awaken to the idea that there’s an entire planet of single people out there you start to realise that, in the grand scheme of things, one rejection means nothing.
I turn things around and make it sound like the other person is asking me out. That way if things don’t go well I can playfully make out that it was me doing the rejecting. I may try a second time at a later stage but if the rejection happens I remind myself that they were not intelligent enough to recognise a smart, sexy, spiritual, fun person was here for the taking and that they missed out.
Some Things To Remember
1. If you’re single and you’ve been single a while get some feedback from friends to find out what you’re doing wrong. Then get yourself out there and start meeting women/men
2. Don’t just do the usual things for dates. Start with maybe a coffee and build from there. Then come up with imaginative things to do or places to go. Sometimes it’s not where you take them but what you do while you’re there. Something like walking on the beach can be a great place to have a date.
3. If you struggle to converse while on a date play some games. Have fun, play slaps, thumb wrestle or even truth or dare. Even the lack of conversation can be a topic to discuss. If you run out of things to say you can say something like ‘What do you normally talk about when you run out of things to say to people?’
4. Engage in playful banter. When I’m on a date with a woman I might make fun out of whatever she’s wearing or, if I’m feeling particularly brave, and I know things are going well, I might make fun of the size of her butt!
5. Remember; you’re not going to get along with everyone so don’t worry if it doesn’t go well. Move on. Put yourself back out there meeting people and then have another go! Learn from the last experience and use it for future dates.
I could go on for hours on this subject now but I’ll leave it there and I’ll be back with more tips for all the single people out there. I have tons to share and upon seeing my success more and more people are coming to me asking me how I do it. Have fun and make the most of the time you’re single ‘coz soon you’ll have a partner who wants to go shopping all the time and will hog the duvet during the winter…brrrrr!