One of the biggest complaints I hear from coaching clients, friends and people in general is that their friends lose touch after they meet someone and are no longer single.
I don’t see why you’d ever need to lose touch with friends in this day and age of mass communication unless you truly want to.
You need to accept that point as a real possibility. It could be the case that if they do lose touch, maybe it’s because they no longer want to stay in touch with you. (Or maybe it’s because you smell!)
I personally wouldn’t want anyone to keep in touch with me just because they felt obligated to. Would you?
In which case, accept it, move on and find new friends.
It’s only natural that once someone becomes part of a couple that they may end up hanging out with couples more and neglect their single friends.
I was at a wedding some time ago. There were 10 people sitting at my table, myself included. There were 3 couples and four single people, of which I was one.
It was almost like a social experiment. What happened? Well, all the couples gravitated towards one another and barely acknowledged that the rest of us existed. (It was as if we had the plague!)
Naturally I bonded with the other single people.
Since meeting my girlfriend, I made even more new friends which has meant even more friends to keep in touch with. We both have large circles of friends and so it’s been an interesting experience getting to know so many new people.
I’ve always sworn that I wouldn’t become one of those people that neglected single friends after finding a better half. I think I’ve done okay so far and I intend to keep it that way.
How can you therefore keep a balance? How can you build relationships with new friends; maintain your friendships with old friends and stay in touch without feeling overwhelmed?
It does take time and effort to stay in touch with people, there is no doubt about that. However, technology is your friend! If you keep yourself organised it makes things so much easier.
I recently got chastised by a friend for not keeping in touch and I realised I was being a diva! It only takes a minute to send a text or make a quick call.
It’s not easy to keep in touch with all the people you connect with over the years but there are ways to make it easier.
1. Email Lists
I’ve created multiple email lists and occasionally I send out bulk emails but the lists enable me to keep in touch with specific circles of friends more easily. I even have a list people of people who’ve annoyed me so I can practise forgiving them!
2. Social Media
One of the easiest ways of letting people know what you’re up to is status updates. Occasionally tag a few friends. Let them know you’re thinking about them.
3. Text Groups
Once in a while I send out the odd joke to my closest friends in a group and sometimes just getting a text from you, regardless of what it is, can put a smile on their faces.
Apps like BBM, WhatsApp or iMessage can make it easy to create groups and make it easier to plan meet-ups or send occasional updates.
Believe it or not your smart phone does have this really cool feature and it’s called a telephone! Try it sometime!
Once in a while arrange events for your friends. I have regular poker, movie or meal nights with friends. Why not organise one and get your friends together.
Do not forget about all your friends that were with you through your lonely nights while you were single!
How do you stay in touch with all the friends you’ve made over the years? Do you ever feel overwhelmed?